Sunday, October 31, 2004

Wonder woman for Halloween

Good evening everyone and again, Happy Halloween! I hope you all had a great night filled with lots of candy, fun, and memories. Mine was spent in a way that would make most people feel very sorry for me but before you do..hear me out. I decided to take a little break this weekend from mostly everything. I took very few calls *only special ones* and limited my activities to alone ones. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to hang out with my friends, enjoy Halloween, and mostly be around the person I love the most but I am in a "boot camp" so to speak right now. I am being changed gradually from the inside out. I needed some time to be alone this weekend and it just happened to fall on Halloween.

I have mentioned a few times in the last couple of posts that I am pretty homesick. That feeling has only grown over the last few days. I tried to sort it out with a friend this afternoon and really ended up feeling worse so I figure this is something for me to ride out alone. The friend had only nice words to say and truly understood where I was coming from but I learned quickly that noone can take away what I am feeling but only the soil of Indiana can truly heal the pain right now.

Everyone knows that I don't particulary like LIVING in Indiana. I enjoy the fall and how it's beautiful colors make me feel. I enjoy holidays with my family and the smell of fireplaces burning in the winter. I enjoy the crisp crunch of snow underneath my shoes but overall, those things only amount to a tiny bit of happiness for me. I overall feel happier with the salty smell of the ocean, the feel of sand between my toes, the amazing feeling of running on the beach, the ability to eat any type of food on any given night, and mostly the feeling of being independent and strong.

Tonight brings me a little bit of healing by just being alone. I would like to take this time to thank all of you for being a friend to me and loving me through one of the hardest years of my life. Some of you have only been around for the hardest year of my life and for that, be grateful. I am better this year than I have ever been. I am a person that I can be proud of. I am going to take my self to the beach now and have a little walk/run to send some endorphins soaring through my brain in preparation for a work week.

Have a great one everyone and again, Happy Halloween. This year, I dressed up as a super hero...I required no costume for this, I am ONE on my OWN! Best wishes for your week! ~Shalom~


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