Good Afternoon everyone! I hope this blog finds you all doing great. I have been really busy the last couple of days with job hunting and I had a very huge thing transpire in my life so I have been out of the blogging loop. I am desperate for some source of a second income because my life is in shambles at this point financially. I can't help but feel drastic anger at Gary for laying me off right before the holidays to where i couldn't be in California to look for a new job. It just sucks and I am about to lose everything because of it. I am going to need to be in prayer to even make it through the month successfully. To be honest, somethings gotta give!
The days have been wonderful lately and I have been trying to stay on task with weight loss, eating, exercise, job hunting, grad school, etc.. I feel very overwhelmed by all that is on my plate right now but entirely lucky as well because I know this is only for a season. This morning after breakfast and dropping Chris off at school, I went ahead to the gym and did a mile on the treadmill with an incline. I was pumped afterward and felt like I could do anything. The only present problem is this giant Kidney Infection that I currently have. I am literally in so much pain it's unbearable. I get paid this evening so tomorrow (although I can't afford it) I am going to the walk in clinic and get some antibiotics. Working out is a struggle and I just wish I was healthy right now. I could use some prayer and any mercy you might have at this point. Any resources that anyone has that might help, let me know!
Well, I am pretty much doing ok but really in need. Please keep the prayers coming and any encouragement you might have. Have a wonderful day everyone and here is the 16th and 17th learning and thankfulness:
Learning January 16, 2005:
1. Sunday is so peaceful and everyone should just relax on Sunday. It pays.
2. A walk on the beach can be exciting and pleasant but can also bring the ugliest parts of your past right up in your face.
3. I love Corona Del Mar and the people that walk there on weekends. Everyone is so pleasant and working to get in/stay in shape. it's beautiful
4. I like the way my hair looks straight. It's amazing how much better it feels and looks now that I don't wear it curly.
5. I am really impressed with my weight loss when looking at my before picture. It's so nice to go back and think of how far I have come.
January 17, 2005 learning:
1. Some things that people say are really scary and painful, aren't at all but rather really enjoyable
2. A great friend can sometimes be the best person to change your life
3. A call from Joel still lights up my entire day
4. Martin Luther King Jr. was born on this day and I will always remember that ;)
5. Sometimes the least expected people can be very gentle
January 16, 2005 Thankfulness:
I am thankful today for my wonderful home near the beach. I am happy that I can get in my car for less than 5 minutes and get to a tropical paradise where I can run, walk, chill, read, etc.. and have a great alone time. I am happy that I have balboa and Corona Del Mar to enjoy my life on and see great happy and healthy people. I love living here in Newport Beach and I hope God allows me to live here even longer.
January 17, 2005 Thankfulness:
This is going to be very obscure but I am thankful for a new experience. I am thankful for something big happening in my life with someone special. I am thankful that I enjoyed myself through the endeavor and found much courage in the friend. I am thankful that I have a lot of people that care about me and I have a great support system in life. I am thankful that my life is different but unchanged...still happy! That's it ..nuff said~
Well, I should get going to get Christopher but have a great day and ~Shalom~
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Sunday, January 16, 2005
A new week and noone to kill
Good Afternoon everybody. Happy Sunday to you! I am just happy that it is a new week and I love new beginnings. I am so glad God set everything up to have like beginnings and endings like a week. I like that we have 7 days to get things right and then we step it up by having a new week. I think that is how humans need to feel. They need to feel like they have a new, fresh, start! It's the same with the end of a day, the end of a year, and the end of a decade, etc...
Last night I was thinking about how much I have changed in the last year. I have had some serious breakthroughs and have grown into some serious stupidity. Isn't it funny how you can change for the better and the worse all in one huge swoop? It's sad but true. I have gotten rid of really unhealthy behaviors and picked up some new ones. I am frustrated by this but see it as, I am only 24 and I am bound to be stupid in my youth. I am going to be growing smarter every year of my life so I am entitled to some stupidity now. The minute I see that stupidity, I really want to make sure, I am changing and growing from it.
Update on my life is that I still don't have a job. I have posted a few resumes on Jobsummit. com and have looked through the classifieds. I see nothing yet and have heard nothing yet. I am tempted to go and apply at Lane Bryant in order to get the hours I need and also get a great discount on sexy curvy women clothing. It's not a horrible idea. I am also going to call Vanguard and see if I can get the job listings or visit their web-site. I paid that school enough money that they should be able to help me get a job. I am very frustrated by this whole process as I feel that I had a job and someone stole it from me.
I am still really frustrated from yesterday's weigh in but after talking to my mom, she noted that it's probably just water weight and that I have this Kidney infection which could affect my weight. Last night, instead of binging on food to make myself feel better, I went for a 2 mile walk/jog down in Balboa and came back to the house feeling great. I helped Britt with some homework over the phone and got off and fell right to sleep. I was exhausted. I am hoping to work out 7/7 days this week and see some benefit to that. I know my body is getting healthier and stronger no matter what because of my nutrition changes but I can't help wanting to wear a swimsuit this year and get into a really sexy dress. My new years resolutions are going to be embarassing if I don't get some weight off.
I am really trying to focus right now on getting myself healthy in all aspects. I want a healthy mind, body, spirit, etc... I want healthy relationships with healthy people. It's funny how I wake up in the morning still scared to death because I live out in California alone. I find this really scary and I really need to stop being so scared of being alone in 2005. I need to start working on my dreams full force and start being an Erica that I can be proud of. Sometimes I am ashamed at the things I do. But, then again, who isn't?!
Well, I should finish up this blog as I plan to start a new project today. I hope you all have a great day and if you are thinking anything while reading this, write me an email and let me know?!
Learning January 15, 2005:
1. Just when the world looks bleak and terrible, my phone rings and I feel all better knowing it's someone who loves me!
2. Sometimes mom knows the best!
3. Joel is still my favorite thing to hear on the phone. He makes me understand what I am doing and thinking and I love him for it.
4. I have changed a lot this year and I should be proud of who I am instead of discouraged at where I am not.
5. Losing weight is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do in my life. Hands down this is the hardest challenge I have in front of me!
Thankful January 15, 2005:
I am thankful for my best friend, Joel. I am thankful that Joel always remembers me and catches up with me. He is a great listener and great at giving me good advice. He tells a great story and makes me feel included in his life. He loves his friends and family with everything he is and would do anything for anyone. He is the most amazing man I know and it's amazing that he is so exactly what I need in my life. He is gorgeous, talented, passionate, driven, focused, determined, loving, caring, nurturing, strong, protective, and the list goes on. Gosh, I hate when someone is always right but I am thanking God that he gets to be in my life. Thanks God and thanks my favorite boy!
~shalom~ All
Last night I was thinking about how much I have changed in the last year. I have had some serious breakthroughs and have grown into some serious stupidity. Isn't it funny how you can change for the better and the worse all in one huge swoop? It's sad but true. I have gotten rid of really unhealthy behaviors and picked up some new ones. I am frustrated by this but see it as, I am only 24 and I am bound to be stupid in my youth. I am going to be growing smarter every year of my life so I am entitled to some stupidity now. The minute I see that stupidity, I really want to make sure, I am changing and growing from it.
Update on my life is that I still don't have a job. I have posted a few resumes on Jobsummit. com and have looked through the classifieds. I see nothing yet and have heard nothing yet. I am tempted to go and apply at Lane Bryant in order to get the hours I need and also get a great discount on sexy curvy women clothing. It's not a horrible idea. I am also going to call Vanguard and see if I can get the job listings or visit their web-site. I paid that school enough money that they should be able to help me get a job. I am very frustrated by this whole process as I feel that I had a job and someone stole it from me.
I am still really frustrated from yesterday's weigh in but after talking to my mom, she noted that it's probably just water weight and that I have this Kidney infection which could affect my weight. Last night, instead of binging on food to make myself feel better, I went for a 2 mile walk/jog down in Balboa and came back to the house feeling great. I helped Britt with some homework over the phone and got off and fell right to sleep. I was exhausted. I am hoping to work out 7/7 days this week and see some benefit to that. I know my body is getting healthier and stronger no matter what because of my nutrition changes but I can't help wanting to wear a swimsuit this year and get into a really sexy dress. My new years resolutions are going to be embarassing if I don't get some weight off.
I am really trying to focus right now on getting myself healthy in all aspects. I want a healthy mind, body, spirit, etc... I want healthy relationships with healthy people. It's funny how I wake up in the morning still scared to death because I live out in California alone. I find this really scary and I really need to stop being so scared of being alone in 2005. I need to start working on my dreams full force and start being an Erica that I can be proud of. Sometimes I am ashamed at the things I do. But, then again, who isn't?!
Well, I should finish up this blog as I plan to start a new project today. I hope you all have a great day and if you are thinking anything while reading this, write me an email and let me know?!
Learning January 15, 2005:
1. Just when the world looks bleak and terrible, my phone rings and I feel all better knowing it's someone who loves me!
2. Sometimes mom knows the best!
3. Joel is still my favorite thing to hear on the phone. He makes me understand what I am doing and thinking and I love him for it.
4. I have changed a lot this year and I should be proud of who I am instead of discouraged at where I am not.
5. Losing weight is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do in my life. Hands down this is the hardest challenge I have in front of me!
Thankful January 15, 2005:
I am thankful for my best friend, Joel. I am thankful that Joel always remembers me and catches up with me. He is a great listener and great at giving me good advice. He tells a great story and makes me feel included in his life. He loves his friends and family with everything he is and would do anything for anyone. He is the most amazing man I know and it's amazing that he is so exactly what I need in my life. He is gorgeous, talented, passionate, driven, focused, determined, loving, caring, nurturing, strong, protective, and the list goes on. Gosh, I hate when someone is always right but I am thanking God that he gets to be in my life. Thanks God and thanks my favorite boy!
~shalom~ All
Saturday, January 15, 2005
He's back!
Today I heard from a friend who has been out to town for about a week. It was like a breath of fresh air to hear his sweet voice and hear his great wisdom. I love when you have a friend who will tell you everything you need to hear and more. I am desperately in need of someone telling me the truth and letting me know what behaviors in my life need to be corrected and what I need to do about them. Granted, I am going to choose for myself and make my own mistakes but either way, I needed to hear his take on it. Joel is one of the best friends I have ever had and it's so nice to have someone really KNOW me. I should note that if my other friends don't know me..it's my fault that they don't. I don't give anyone the parts of me that I give to Joel. I need to work on this but at the same time, it is good that I am limiting those people who are close to my heart.
Saturday has arrived and it wasn't as good as I expected. This last week I really worked on my weight loss goals for the new year. I will admit that I didn't work out everyday like I really need to but I did eat breakfast every day, took my vitamin, drank a ton of water, and watched my intake of food. Even though I made all of those efforts, it should be self -explanatory my need for exercise when I note that I gained 3 pounds. I am really frustrated with this and completely unhappy with myself. I have to get back on track though and just figure it's water weight or a set-back of some sort. I have to be really disciplined this next week in my life overall. I have to have a job by Friday if I want to survive, have to work out, have to kick this kidney infection, and get myself together spiritually. I am in a tough spot right now and could use all of the prayer that you all have to offer.
Because I really need to get busy on some goals for the day, this is the end of the post. Enjoy my learning experiences and thankfulness for yesterday:
Learning January 14, 2005:
1. I could spend all day talking to someone who really interests me.
2. I really like this meal from lean cuisine that is salmon, rice pilaf, and vegetables all in a basil sauce...yummy and healthy!
3. My adidas running pants make my legs look longer ...woo hooo
4. Sometimes I am happiest just sitting in my room, listening to tunes, and looking at pictures of people I love.
5. I am not nearly as interesting as I think I am to some people. I really want to find someone who likes me for me! That is not happening at the current moment!
Thankful January 14, 2005:
I am thankful for my little sister having MSN messenger so we can talk sometimes. I like that I can see her pop on and talk to her for a few minutes and it is always a fun, good chat. She is such a caring, great person and I am proud to be her big sister. I think everyday how amazing she is and although she isn't perfect, I still love her more every minute. She is a gem and I am so happy to have her. I love my lil sis and am so thankful that God allowed her to be a part of my life! Thank you God and thank you britt-butt!
Saturday has arrived and it wasn't as good as I expected. This last week I really worked on my weight loss goals for the new year. I will admit that I didn't work out everyday like I really need to but I did eat breakfast every day, took my vitamin, drank a ton of water, and watched my intake of food. Even though I made all of those efforts, it should be self -explanatory my need for exercise when I note that I gained 3 pounds. I am really frustrated with this and completely unhappy with myself. I have to get back on track though and just figure it's water weight or a set-back of some sort. I have to be really disciplined this next week in my life overall. I have to have a job by Friday if I want to survive, have to work out, have to kick this kidney infection, and get myself together spiritually. I am in a tough spot right now and could use all of the prayer that you all have to offer.
Because I really need to get busy on some goals for the day, this is the end of the post. Enjoy my learning experiences and thankfulness for yesterday:
Learning January 14, 2005:
1. I could spend all day talking to someone who really interests me.
2. I really like this meal from lean cuisine that is salmon, rice pilaf, and vegetables all in a basil sauce...yummy and healthy!
3. My adidas running pants make my legs look longer ...woo hooo
4. Sometimes I am happiest just sitting in my room, listening to tunes, and looking at pictures of people I love.
5. I am not nearly as interesting as I think I am to some people. I really want to find someone who likes me for me! That is not happening at the current moment!
Thankful January 14, 2005:
I am thankful for my little sister having MSN messenger so we can talk sometimes. I like that I can see her pop on and talk to her for a few minutes and it is always a fun, good chat. She is such a caring, great person and I am proud to be her big sister. I think everyday how amazing she is and although she isn't perfect, I still love her more every minute. She is a gem and I am so happy to have her. I love my lil sis and am so thankful that God allowed her to be a part of my life! Thank you God and thank you britt-butt!
Friday, January 14, 2005
Friday never felt so good
Hey everyone! Happy Friday to you. I am so happy that Friday is here. Not because I have some sort of huge plans or even that I have that much work to do that I need to rest from...but because I like Saturday. Saturday is my favorite day of the week. I weigh in on Saturday and I look forward to not only the clarification that my work paid off but also for a starting over point in my weight loss journey. Overall, this week hasn't been that bad in that I worked out some days, ate well all days, and drank a ton of water. I am hoping to be rewarding not for my ability but for my effort. I am praying that daily!
This weight loss thing is so hard for me. As you all probably know, I am a girl who wants everything yesterday. I have a very hard time with patience as I think that a lot of people do. Weight issues are not solved in a day nor are they even solved in a year. It has taken me a long time to lose the weight that I have and now it's going to take me at least another year to meet my goal. I am finding myself very frustrated with how long it's taking and how obsessed the world is with weight. It is so weird how people want you to accept them when they aren't perfect, yet they themselves don't do that! I am not speaking of anyone in particular but I just know that I am a beautiful, talented, intelligent person who is going to bring much happiness to whomever wants to share their lives with me and they are missing out if they don' t decide to love me before the weight loss....instead of after.
Yesterday I went out with a friend for coffee...in which I didn't drink coffee but juice. I love that juice that they have @ Starbucks. He is a sweet guy and seriously has a lot to offer the world. He is very affirming of my good qualities and I appreciate that about him. In saying that, I should note here that I have learned a lot about myself in the last few days. It's weird how one person can see you one way and you can see you in a totally different light. It's all about self image and the ways you are disguising your best qualities.
We went for a walk down in Balboa and just chilled and talked and it was a really good time. Also, he drives a sweet new Explorer that I loved taking a little ride in. We had a good time talking and laughing and enjoying getting to know each other better. I learned a great deal about him yesterday and liked mostly everything I learned. Just wanted to note that in here because I know he reads the blog and he will appreciate me speaking of our time together.
Today I am just chilling and job hunting and chatting with friends. Overall it is a good day so far and we'll see how my night goes. Well people that's it for today but here are my learning experiences and thankfulness for yesterday:
Learning January 13, 2005:
1. I really like that juice from Starbucks called C-monster. It has a special way of attaching it's flavor to the inner sanctum of my tongue. (I am officially the weirdest)
2. Being sober (as in a recovering alcoholic) is one of the most fascinating things I have ever learned about. It's great to see someone beat something so hard and yet be on top of the world about it.
3. I literally HATE wrapping presents. I am the advocate of the almighty gift bag.
4. Pizza is better for me without pork products. I am happy to report I ate my first pizza yesterday without sausage or ham!!!
5. There is nothing worse than lying. I hate lies. I am having a hard time teaching the concept of being honest to Christopher and it's the one way he makes me crazy!
Thankful January 13, 2005:
I am thankful for the healthy fear that is elicited in a child when you are disappointed in them. Yesterday Christopher lied about some schoolwork and I immediately took the place of angry but have always tried to use my anger well with him. I began to talk to him about the horrible truth about lies and how they never really sidestep anything. He was listening pretty well and we talked about how it makes me feel to be lied to. He immediately was in tears and I hadn't handed down any punishment or anything like that. Christopher has a tender heart and a sweet spirit and it helped me to know that he loves me enough to not want to hurt or anger me. He will make mistakes and yesterday was by NO means the last lie but I am just thankful for a child's heart that is engaged by their true emotions and they are not good at hiding things yet. There is beauty to that.
Have a great day all and ~Shalom~
This weight loss thing is so hard for me. As you all probably know, I am a girl who wants everything yesterday. I have a very hard time with patience as I think that a lot of people do. Weight issues are not solved in a day nor are they even solved in a year. It has taken me a long time to lose the weight that I have and now it's going to take me at least another year to meet my goal. I am finding myself very frustrated with how long it's taking and how obsessed the world is with weight. It is so weird how people want you to accept them when they aren't perfect, yet they themselves don't do that! I am not speaking of anyone in particular but I just know that I am a beautiful, talented, intelligent person who is going to bring much happiness to whomever wants to share their lives with me and they are missing out if they don' t decide to love me before the weight loss....instead of after.
Yesterday I went out with a friend for coffee...in which I didn't drink coffee but juice. I love that juice that they have @ Starbucks. He is a sweet guy and seriously has a lot to offer the world. He is very affirming of my good qualities and I appreciate that about him. In saying that, I should note here that I have learned a lot about myself in the last few days. It's weird how one person can see you one way and you can see you in a totally different light. It's all about self image and the ways you are disguising your best qualities.
We went for a walk down in Balboa and just chilled and talked and it was a really good time. Also, he drives a sweet new Explorer that I loved taking a little ride in. We had a good time talking and laughing and enjoying getting to know each other better. I learned a great deal about him yesterday and liked mostly everything I learned. Just wanted to note that in here because I know he reads the blog and he will appreciate me speaking of our time together.
Today I am just chilling and job hunting and chatting with friends. Overall it is a good day so far and we'll see how my night goes. Well people that's it for today but here are my learning experiences and thankfulness for yesterday:
Learning January 13, 2005:
1. I really like that juice from Starbucks called C-monster. It has a special way of attaching it's flavor to the inner sanctum of my tongue. (I am officially the weirdest)
2. Being sober (as in a recovering alcoholic) is one of the most fascinating things I have ever learned about. It's great to see someone beat something so hard and yet be on top of the world about it.
3. I literally HATE wrapping presents. I am the advocate of the almighty gift bag.
4. Pizza is better for me without pork products. I am happy to report I ate my first pizza yesterday without sausage or ham!!!
5. There is nothing worse than lying. I hate lies. I am having a hard time teaching the concept of being honest to Christopher and it's the one way he makes me crazy!
Thankful January 13, 2005:
I am thankful for the healthy fear that is elicited in a child when you are disappointed in them. Yesterday Christopher lied about some schoolwork and I immediately took the place of angry but have always tried to use my anger well with him. I began to talk to him about the horrible truth about lies and how they never really sidestep anything. He was listening pretty well and we talked about how it makes me feel to be lied to. He immediately was in tears and I hadn't handed down any punishment or anything like that. Christopher has a tender heart and a sweet spirit and it helped me to know that he loves me enough to not want to hurt or anger me. He will make mistakes and yesterday was by NO means the last lie but I am just thankful for a child's heart that is engaged by their true emotions and they are not good at hiding things yet. There is beauty to that.
Have a great day all and ~Shalom~
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Princess Power
Wow, is it Thursday already? It's amazing how fast the week goes when you do nothing with your day! When you have the small privelage for a few days of being jobless and get to hang around and do fun things, it goes so fast! I hope you are all doing well today and that this blog is not getting to deep for ya. It is getting a little deep for me and I find that I literally throw my heart on the screen day after day trying to search for meaning and learn something about myself. Journaling is such a powerful tool. The title today is about my desire to be the princess of Ericaland. A new friend of mine calls me princess (and I think it's really sweet) and I started to think about how accurate it would be for me. I really do desire after that fairy tale situation where I am the princess and although my life will always have struggle, it doesn't matter as long as I have the love of a prince!
It seems that yesterday was a very interesting day. I have no idea what I would do not having a job all the time. I am pretty much busy from 3:30 on but I get up at like 7 am and just have the rest of the day after taking Christopher to school to do whatever. Lately it has been a little job hunting, meeting some new people, and getting to know people I am interested in. I have little to no money so the options are limited on what I can do. I can't even job hunt effectively because I must conserve gas for my current job. Isn't life grand?
I am not by any means complaining because my life is full of great people, the basic necessities, and possiblities as far as the eye can see. I was thinking today about marriage. Isn't it funny how half the world has been married and noone has really mastered it yet?! I am not about to act like I have some sort of super power that makes me think I will be able to master it either but isn't it crazy? I mean, you would think that in the world there would be someone that has it perfect. There are masters at everything; chess, surfing, mathematics, gymnastics, physics, etc...yet the world is without a master at love. I think that says a lot about love! I think if it can't be mastered...that's because it's the most amazing concept out there.
Maybe I am completely too philosophic because I am starved for love and affection right now but seriously, isn't it a great thing? If there were some perfect world where I could have exactly what I want right now, he would be standing next to me in all of his princely manner and have his hand on the small of my back guiding me throughout life and letting me know he is my strong protector while being vulnerable with me when it matters. I am getting way too sappy in my old age. I am getting to be very femine and interesting in the days that pass a breakthrough!
So anyway, I am always learning and always finding a way to be thankful so stay tuned for yesterdays learning and thankfulness:
Learning January 12, 2005:
1. Silver bars are worth a lot of money. I had to exchange silver bars for Richard and there was so much of it and I thought it would be a couple of hundred dollars at best and it ended up exchanging for a lot more than that. Isn't it a funny world?!
2. I want a Ford Mustang more than I ever have but have officially gained adulthood and realized that it is something I must earn and I am never going to have it unless I do!
3. Finding a job is hard stuff and is a lot like getting back into the dating field. I have no problem with the whole dating field having options but just like jobs, there are few I would actually take and feel worth doing!!
4. I love a late night phone call when I am laying in bed talking to someone who makes me laugh and makes me happy. It makes me sleep like a baby!
5. There is a stinky cold going around that is making everyone all groggy and sick. I hope I don't get it, I take care of myself so let's hope I don't. No medical insurance can be a hard hard thing to live with.
Thankful January 12, 2005:
I am thankful for heartfelt compliments. I am thankful when someone tells me I am intelligent or that I have a good heart. I like when someone who doesn't hand out compliments easily can say something that melts my heart. I like when someone notices something about me that isn't surface like that I am sensual or analytical in my mind. I love affirmation and I am thankful for those people in my life who deem it necessary to affirm me. I speak the love language of affirmation to anyone and everyone that I love and sometimes it is good to get it back. When I don't ...I feel starved. Thanks to those of you who you are good with compliments and thanks to those of you who find it difficult but walk out of your comfort zones to make me feel good! Love it!
~Shalom~
It seems that yesterday was a very interesting day. I have no idea what I would do not having a job all the time. I am pretty much busy from 3:30 on but I get up at like 7 am and just have the rest of the day after taking Christopher to school to do whatever. Lately it has been a little job hunting, meeting some new people, and getting to know people I am interested in. I have little to no money so the options are limited on what I can do. I can't even job hunt effectively because I must conserve gas for my current job. Isn't life grand?
I am not by any means complaining because my life is full of great people, the basic necessities, and possiblities as far as the eye can see. I was thinking today about marriage. Isn't it funny how half the world has been married and noone has really mastered it yet?! I am not about to act like I have some sort of super power that makes me think I will be able to master it either but isn't it crazy? I mean, you would think that in the world there would be someone that has it perfect. There are masters at everything; chess, surfing, mathematics, gymnastics, physics, etc...yet the world is without a master at love. I think that says a lot about love! I think if it can't be mastered...that's because it's the most amazing concept out there.
Maybe I am completely too philosophic because I am starved for love and affection right now but seriously, isn't it a great thing? If there were some perfect world where I could have exactly what I want right now, he would be standing next to me in all of his princely manner and have his hand on the small of my back guiding me throughout life and letting me know he is my strong protector while being vulnerable with me when it matters. I am getting way too sappy in my old age. I am getting to be very femine and interesting in the days that pass a breakthrough!
So anyway, I am always learning and always finding a way to be thankful so stay tuned for yesterdays learning and thankfulness:
Learning January 12, 2005:
1. Silver bars are worth a lot of money. I had to exchange silver bars for Richard and there was so much of it and I thought it would be a couple of hundred dollars at best and it ended up exchanging for a lot more than that. Isn't it a funny world?!
2. I want a Ford Mustang more than I ever have but have officially gained adulthood and realized that it is something I must earn and I am never going to have it unless I do!
3. Finding a job is hard stuff and is a lot like getting back into the dating field. I have no problem with the whole dating field having options but just like jobs, there are few I would actually take and feel worth doing!!
4. I love a late night phone call when I am laying in bed talking to someone who makes me laugh and makes me happy. It makes me sleep like a baby!
5. There is a stinky cold going around that is making everyone all groggy and sick. I hope I don't get it, I take care of myself so let's hope I don't. No medical insurance can be a hard hard thing to live with.
Thankful January 12, 2005:
I am thankful for heartfelt compliments. I am thankful when someone tells me I am intelligent or that I have a good heart. I like when someone who doesn't hand out compliments easily can say something that melts my heart. I like when someone notices something about me that isn't surface like that I am sensual or analytical in my mind. I love affirmation and I am thankful for those people in my life who deem it necessary to affirm me. I speak the love language of affirmation to anyone and everyone that I love and sometimes it is good to get it back. When I don't ...I feel starved. Thanks to those of you who you are good with compliments and thanks to those of you who find it difficult but walk out of your comfort zones to make me feel good! Love it!
~Shalom~
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
So frustrated with myself
Today finds me in a weird mood. I have this whole weird frustrating problem right now. I can't seem to get truth to go from my head to my heart. I know a lot of things about a lot of things. I know exactly what a healthy behavior is in a relationship and which of my behaviors is unhealthy yet I can't stop them. I shouldn't say can't...but I shouldn't say won't either. I am really trying to focus and keep my balance but SOMETHING is getting in the way. I know what it is ...yet I can't seem to grab it by the horns and make it go away. It's weird, maybe it's the thorn in my flesh and I'll always struggle with it? Maybe?
I am trying to realize what my life is going to be like from this point on. I am working as a nanny of course and to tell you the truth, I love it. I have no complaints about being Christopher's nanny. I love him dearly and enjoy taking care of him. I like watching him find out new things, learn and grow, and force through problems effectively. It builds a lot in me and keeps me grounded in life as well. I think sometimes you have to look over your life and pick out the things that are going right.
I like the fact that I am single. I have been single for about 10-11 months now and I love the life. Now, I don't love everything about it but I love it nonetheless. I like that I choose what I want, that I go where I want, and that I have my options open. The thing I don't love is, I am ready to be loved again. I am ready to share my life with someone in a productive, healthy way. The things I like about being single, are the things I hated about being taken only because I was in an unhealthy relationship. I am ready to be in a healthy, loving, caring, nurturing, fun relationship. I am ready to find a man to hang out with who likes me and appreciates all of the crazy aspects of my personality. You all know, there are plenty of those.
I have been thinking about my personality lately and maybe there is some work to do. I have always believed that who I am...is who I am and if someone doesn't like it, who cares about them. Well, I don't know if that is entirely true anymore. Some of the things in my character, I am not very proud of. I know that I have stuff that I need to work on. I know there are aspects of my character that in no way line up with Proverbs 31. I know that I take a lot of things to the extreme and put myself in immense ..danger.
I need to grow up. Those are the facts! I need to start acting like a 24 year old woman instead of a 21 year old vixen ;) I find myself doing things that I did before I was in a relationship which means that I got into a serious relationship MUCH too young. Now that I have spent almost a year in my adult life being single and watching others around me make mistakes and have fun and all kinds of things...I am thinking more about being grown up in my relationship endeavors.
I am all over the place today on this blog. I think I am just thinking aloud. I am currently going through a really interesting time in my life and I think that is why all this thinking. I find myself in a place where I have never been. More confident about men that I have ever hoped to be, more physically fit than I have ever been in my life, and the most independent I think I have ever been. It's a strange place that I stand today.
Overall, I am happy with my life. I live in a great house, have a great job, make decent money doing something I love, eat 3 square meals a day, drive a great car that I love, have beautiful friends who are so good to me, have a lot of interest in a certain male, talk with people that are interesting every day, have clothes on my back, a great family who supports me daily, and more than anything the love of a perfect and righteous Savior who is always looking out for my best! What more could I want ..right? Well, you would think...
I want a man of God to share my life with. I am out for true love. NO doubt about it. From knowing me ..you might think I am out to play..but I am not! I am out to find that man who can make my heart skip a beat, make me cry with his smile, make me laugh in the depths of despair, make me wish every day would last forever. I just long for the fairy tale. It's too much to ask isn't it? Where has my hope for love gone? Where is it? It is probably shattered on the rocks of way too attractive men who only want to hook up. I can't take this life anymore, it's not what I want and I am putting my foot down!!!!!
Well I should shut up before you all decide never to read this sappy blog again. Here are my learning experiences and thankfulness for yesterday:
Learning January 11, 2005:
1. I love the 30 minutes in the morning when I take myself for a drive after dropping Christopher off at school. I listen to good music, think to myself about life, and drive the beautiful coast of Corona Del Mar Beach. MY life is magical.
2. There was never a sweeter sight than the waves crashing onto the sand from my car the morning after 5-6 days of pure rain. The sun was beaming through the clouds and I could see God in nature like never before.
3. A black man can not join the Klan even if he is half white. My friend made me watch Jerry Springer yesterday because a 1/2 black man was trying to join the klan. It was repulsive. My friend that made me watch it, is black and he was pretty embarassed by the whole show. Is Jerry Springer real?
4. Steven is much deeper than what meets the eye. He has a lot of things to say that is good stuff. I totally earned new respect for him and found him to be quite interesting.
5. Jason is officially stronger than I am and fiestier than I could ever imagine being. I love this stuff about him and find him more interesting by the stinkin' second. Is there anything wrong with me liking someone who can tell me whats up? I mean,I love that about someone. Please be able to be strong with me...no cream puffs need apply!
Thankful January 11, 2005:
I am thankful that Steven feels he can open up to be about family stuff. I am thankful that most of my friends feel safe telling me things. I am thankful that Steven is able to show me a much deeper side of himself and not be so afraid of being vulnerable with me. I am a very caring person and although I make a lot of jokes, I love with all of my heart and am always willing to be a friend and listen. I am so thankful that I have great friends who feel they can share with me. Thanks for the great talk yesterday Steven!
~Shalom~
I am trying to realize what my life is going to be like from this point on. I am working as a nanny of course and to tell you the truth, I love it. I have no complaints about being Christopher's nanny. I love him dearly and enjoy taking care of him. I like watching him find out new things, learn and grow, and force through problems effectively. It builds a lot in me and keeps me grounded in life as well. I think sometimes you have to look over your life and pick out the things that are going right.
I like the fact that I am single. I have been single for about 10-11 months now and I love the life. Now, I don't love everything about it but I love it nonetheless. I like that I choose what I want, that I go where I want, and that I have my options open. The thing I don't love is, I am ready to be loved again. I am ready to share my life with someone in a productive, healthy way. The things I like about being single, are the things I hated about being taken only because I was in an unhealthy relationship. I am ready to be in a healthy, loving, caring, nurturing, fun relationship. I am ready to find a man to hang out with who likes me and appreciates all of the crazy aspects of my personality. You all know, there are plenty of those.
I have been thinking about my personality lately and maybe there is some work to do. I have always believed that who I am...is who I am and if someone doesn't like it, who cares about them. Well, I don't know if that is entirely true anymore. Some of the things in my character, I am not very proud of. I know that I have stuff that I need to work on. I know there are aspects of my character that in no way line up with Proverbs 31. I know that I take a lot of things to the extreme and put myself in immense ..danger.
I need to grow up. Those are the facts! I need to start acting like a 24 year old woman instead of a 21 year old vixen ;) I find myself doing things that I did before I was in a relationship which means that I got into a serious relationship MUCH too young. Now that I have spent almost a year in my adult life being single and watching others around me make mistakes and have fun and all kinds of things...I am thinking more about being grown up in my relationship endeavors.
I am all over the place today on this blog. I think I am just thinking aloud. I am currently going through a really interesting time in my life and I think that is why all this thinking. I find myself in a place where I have never been. More confident about men that I have ever hoped to be, more physically fit than I have ever been in my life, and the most independent I think I have ever been. It's a strange place that I stand today.
Overall, I am happy with my life. I live in a great house, have a great job, make decent money doing something I love, eat 3 square meals a day, drive a great car that I love, have beautiful friends who are so good to me, have a lot of interest in a certain male, talk with people that are interesting every day, have clothes on my back, a great family who supports me daily, and more than anything the love of a perfect and righteous Savior who is always looking out for my best! What more could I want ..right? Well, you would think...
I want a man of God to share my life with. I am out for true love. NO doubt about it. From knowing me ..you might think I am out to play..but I am not! I am out to find that man who can make my heart skip a beat, make me cry with his smile, make me laugh in the depths of despair, make me wish every day would last forever. I just long for the fairy tale. It's too much to ask isn't it? Where has my hope for love gone? Where is it? It is probably shattered on the rocks of way too attractive men who only want to hook up. I can't take this life anymore, it's not what I want and I am putting my foot down!!!!!
Well I should shut up before you all decide never to read this sappy blog again. Here are my learning experiences and thankfulness for yesterday:
Learning January 11, 2005:
1. I love the 30 minutes in the morning when I take myself for a drive after dropping Christopher off at school. I listen to good music, think to myself about life, and drive the beautiful coast of Corona Del Mar Beach. MY life is magical.
2. There was never a sweeter sight than the waves crashing onto the sand from my car the morning after 5-6 days of pure rain. The sun was beaming through the clouds and I could see God in nature like never before.
3. A black man can not join the Klan even if he is half white. My friend made me watch Jerry Springer yesterday because a 1/2 black man was trying to join the klan. It was repulsive. My friend that made me watch it, is black and he was pretty embarassed by the whole show. Is Jerry Springer real?
4. Steven is much deeper than what meets the eye. He has a lot of things to say that is good stuff. I totally earned new respect for him and found him to be quite interesting.
5. Jason is officially stronger than I am and fiestier than I could ever imagine being. I love this stuff about him and find him more interesting by the stinkin' second. Is there anything wrong with me liking someone who can tell me whats up? I mean,I love that about someone. Please be able to be strong with me...no cream puffs need apply!
Thankful January 11, 2005:
I am thankful that Steven feels he can open up to be about family stuff. I am thankful that most of my friends feel safe telling me things. I am thankful that Steven is able to show me a much deeper side of himself and not be so afraid of being vulnerable with me. I am a very caring person and although I make a lot of jokes, I love with all of my heart and am always willing to be a friend and listen. I am so thankful that I have great friends who feel they can share with me. Thanks for the great talk yesterday Steven!
~Shalom~
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
I need a job!
Have you ever noticed that you do stupid things more when you aren't busy? I love being busy. There is a great thing about just being completely and utterly busy and then having only a few days off a week. I like the busy life. Yesterday was kinda busy with things to do but I still have too much free time for me. I would like to have a job that takes most of my day and then a great guy to take the rest of it! :) Is that too much to ask? Probably huh?
Yesterday ended up being pretty good. I cleaned out some of Richards office and had Chris in the evening. I made a really great stir fry so I was pretty happy with myself. I love to cook. That is one thing that is completely female about me, I just love to nest...cooking, cleaning, etc... Kinda weird being that I am Erica...but oh well.
Today I am going to hang with a friend in the afternoon, job hunt a bit, and have Chris this evening. I am looking forward to getting to hang out with friends soon. I haven't seen my friends since I have been back. Josh and Heather left yesterday to go to New York for a few days and then they are off to London. I won't see them for several months and I will miss them so much! I talked with Josh last night as he was getting on the plane and we might talk once more before he heads overseas. I am so sad that I won't see him or Heather for that long. Oh well, absense makes the heart grow fonder right?
I didn't do a whole lot last night. My muscles were so sore from the night before that I fell asleep and didn't work out. I feel kinda bad but I will work out tonight and make up for it. Well here are my learning experiences for yesterday and my thankfulness:
Learning January 10, 2005:
1. I really enjoy Vertical Horizon. I bought their cd when they were new and went to see a show of theirs (sister hazel opened up) and I popped their cd in the car yesterday and still love every song on that cd. Whatever happened to them?
2. I like Brown rice better than white rice. I had it yesterday for the first time and noticed the difference. It even tastes healthier.
3. There is a lot that comes with being wealthy. It's amazing how many bills you accrue as an adult.
4. I love living in California regardless of the rain but man it sucks to not see the beach for days.
5. It is never a great idea to wear a Karate Ghi in the pouring rain if it's white. Just a note!
Thankful --January 10, 2005:
I am thankful for random text messages from a sweet boy. I like getting texts from someone I like even if they are just growling about their computer not working. I think it's great to hear "Back in Black" by AC/DC because he is writing me a text. It's amazing how little things make me happy. I am not hard to please. I am trying to remember these small things because one day you forget them and then ...everything gets harder. I am thankful for the small things in liking someone, the texts, emails, instant messages, surprising calls, etc...his laugh, his smile..oh wait...have I continued. Oh well, he knows who he is!
~Shalom~
Yesterday ended up being pretty good. I cleaned out some of Richards office and had Chris in the evening. I made a really great stir fry so I was pretty happy with myself. I love to cook. That is one thing that is completely female about me, I just love to nest...cooking, cleaning, etc... Kinda weird being that I am Erica...but oh well.
Today I am going to hang with a friend in the afternoon, job hunt a bit, and have Chris this evening. I am looking forward to getting to hang out with friends soon. I haven't seen my friends since I have been back. Josh and Heather left yesterday to go to New York for a few days and then they are off to London. I won't see them for several months and I will miss them so much! I talked with Josh last night as he was getting on the plane and we might talk once more before he heads overseas. I am so sad that I won't see him or Heather for that long. Oh well, absense makes the heart grow fonder right?
I didn't do a whole lot last night. My muscles were so sore from the night before that I fell asleep and didn't work out. I feel kinda bad but I will work out tonight and make up for it. Well here are my learning experiences for yesterday and my thankfulness:
Learning January 10, 2005:
1. I really enjoy Vertical Horizon. I bought their cd when they were new and went to see a show of theirs (sister hazel opened up) and I popped their cd in the car yesterday and still love every song on that cd. Whatever happened to them?
2. I like Brown rice better than white rice. I had it yesterday for the first time and noticed the difference. It even tastes healthier.
3. There is a lot that comes with being wealthy. It's amazing how many bills you accrue as an adult.
4. I love living in California regardless of the rain but man it sucks to not see the beach for days.
5. It is never a great idea to wear a Karate Ghi in the pouring rain if it's white. Just a note!
Thankful --January 10, 2005:
I am thankful for random text messages from a sweet boy. I like getting texts from someone I like even if they are just growling about their computer not working. I think it's great to hear "Back in Black" by AC/DC because he is writing me a text. It's amazing how little things make me happy. I am not hard to please. I am trying to remember these small things because one day you forget them and then ...everything gets harder. I am thankful for the small things in liking someone, the texts, emails, instant messages, surprising calls, etc...his laugh, his smile..oh wait...have I continued. Oh well, he knows who he is!
~Shalom~
Monday, January 10, 2005
Atlas Shrugged moves on....
Hi everyone. Yesterday was a blur with all of the rain coming down in sheets in California and the whole kidney infection problem. I did really well yesterday in my eating and exercise plan. I ended up working out with Leslie Sansone's Firm Walk which is a workout that is strength training for your arms, legs, and abs. I am relatively sore today which is a great thing! I also drank a ton of water and ate really well. I should be taking a few pounds off this week if I am careful.
I used yesterday to try and get better from my kidney problem. I ended up taking a brief nap and reading a lot yesterday hence the title of today's blog. I am currently reading a book that my friend Joel loaned me after insisting it changed his life. It's Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand and it sincerely does change your life. I am about mid-way through the book after taking a brief break from it over the holidays. It is the kind of book that you have to chew up the meat and spit out the bones though. Ayn Rand is not a Christian author and you have to really examine your own beliefs and kind of sort out the philosophy behind it and apply it to Christianity. This is probably the most thinking I have ever had to do while reading. In saying that, I will remind you...I graduated college with a psych major so thinking was my job for a while. Nevertheless, this is the best thing I have ever done for myself, in reading this book.
Later in the evening I called an old friend that I haven't spoken to in years. Rob and I went to school together since we were very young, graduated high school together, went to church back home together and made a lot of great memories. We haven't really spoken since graduation because Rob went away to the Navy. He ended up getting married and currently has a 5 month old daughter. In saying that, Rob and I have very little in common these days since I have no husband, no children, and am not in the military. Regardless of that fact, I felt like that hour and a half was like we never lost any time. Rob is still the man I know him to be. A man of great character, virtue, strength, and humility. In talking to him, I learned a great deal about what growing up makes a man into. I am very proud of the man Rob has become in his mid-twenties!
So anyway, I also found out last night that my friend Nick is expecting a baby. He and his wife Merry have been married around 5 years now. They are the cutest couple and Nick was my best friend throughout high school. He is an amazing man who went to Central Bible College to get his Pastoring degree and ended up joining the Marines in order to be a pastor to the military! He is someone I am also very proud of.
I also found out just recently that my good friend Brooke is going to graduate in May with her degree in dentistry and will be a dentist! She has many job offers already and is already taking patients successfully! She has always been amazing and succeeded at everything she touches. She is very happily married and seems to have life by the well..."horns."
While I was home I was able to spend time with my friend Carrie who is just this amazing wife and mother who does everything. She works and takes care of the two most wonderful kids I have ever known. She has a great husband and she knows how to love him properly. On top of that she reads a lot, does crafy things, and is still one of the funniest people I know. In all of our walks of life, she amazes me the most!
My reason for saying all of this is, I am so proud of my friends. We have all made a great deal out of ourselves and have strived for more than our background would ever allow us. Many of us grew up with things that might have inhibited our success and just being from Mitchell, Indiana is a huge one. It's very hard to get out of a town where everyone knows you, you love everyone, and it's like one big family in high school. Now we are all moving out and on and doing wonderfully with our lives. This is my salute to all of my high school friends who are just amazing people doing everything they love!
Ok, so anyway, Here are my learning experiences from yesterday and my thankfulness:
Learning January 9, 2005:
1. Nick and Merry Pridemore are going to be mommy and daddy! WOO HOO
2. A tattoo takes about 2 weeks to properly heal.
3. I love Aquafresh Extreme Clean Whitening toothpaste..amazing!
4. Atlas Shrugged is one of the best books I think I have ever read and learned the most from.
5. Jason is a very sensitive and sweet person who I am looking forward to getting to know slowly and naturally. He is one of the most caring individuals that I have ever met!
Thankful January 9, 2005:
I am thankful for old friends. It seems that new friends are exciting and amazing and perplexing all at once but there is something to say for familarity. Talking to Rob was the highlight of my day yesterday because at the end of the conversation he stopped to say "E, I am just so proud of the woman you have become and I would hug you if I was near you." This meant the world to me because Rob knows where I have come from. He knows the ins and outs of my ugly past including things I could not control as a small child. I also remember just how his hugs feel and how enveloping they always were. Rob and I were really good friends so even though everything he says or does isn't NEW and fresh....it is like coming home. Just like it says in Dirty Dancing (ha ha) "Old Friends are the best" (join hands and hearts and voices...voices, hearts, and hands) ha ha
Well peeps, there are my thoughts. Bask in them or perhaps ignore them..whatever you do with them..enjoy your day and ~Shalom~
I used yesterday to try and get better from my kidney problem. I ended up taking a brief nap and reading a lot yesterday hence the title of today's blog. I am currently reading a book that my friend Joel loaned me after insisting it changed his life. It's Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand and it sincerely does change your life. I am about mid-way through the book after taking a brief break from it over the holidays. It is the kind of book that you have to chew up the meat and spit out the bones though. Ayn Rand is not a Christian author and you have to really examine your own beliefs and kind of sort out the philosophy behind it and apply it to Christianity. This is probably the most thinking I have ever had to do while reading. In saying that, I will remind you...I graduated college with a psych major so thinking was my job for a while. Nevertheless, this is the best thing I have ever done for myself, in reading this book.
Later in the evening I called an old friend that I haven't spoken to in years. Rob and I went to school together since we were very young, graduated high school together, went to church back home together and made a lot of great memories. We haven't really spoken since graduation because Rob went away to the Navy. He ended up getting married and currently has a 5 month old daughter. In saying that, Rob and I have very little in common these days since I have no husband, no children, and am not in the military. Regardless of that fact, I felt like that hour and a half was like we never lost any time. Rob is still the man I know him to be. A man of great character, virtue, strength, and humility. In talking to him, I learned a great deal about what growing up makes a man into. I am very proud of the man Rob has become in his mid-twenties!
So anyway, I also found out last night that my friend Nick is expecting a baby. He and his wife Merry have been married around 5 years now. They are the cutest couple and Nick was my best friend throughout high school. He is an amazing man who went to Central Bible College to get his Pastoring degree and ended up joining the Marines in order to be a pastor to the military! He is someone I am also very proud of.
I also found out just recently that my good friend Brooke is going to graduate in May with her degree in dentistry and will be a dentist! She has many job offers already and is already taking patients successfully! She has always been amazing and succeeded at everything she touches. She is very happily married and seems to have life by the well..."horns."
While I was home I was able to spend time with my friend Carrie who is just this amazing wife and mother who does everything. She works and takes care of the two most wonderful kids I have ever known. She has a great husband and she knows how to love him properly. On top of that she reads a lot, does crafy things, and is still one of the funniest people I know. In all of our walks of life, she amazes me the most!
My reason for saying all of this is, I am so proud of my friends. We have all made a great deal out of ourselves and have strived for more than our background would ever allow us. Many of us grew up with things that might have inhibited our success and just being from Mitchell, Indiana is a huge one. It's very hard to get out of a town where everyone knows you, you love everyone, and it's like one big family in high school. Now we are all moving out and on and doing wonderfully with our lives. This is my salute to all of my high school friends who are just amazing people doing everything they love!
Ok, so anyway, Here are my learning experiences from yesterday and my thankfulness:
Learning January 9, 2005:
1. Nick and Merry Pridemore are going to be mommy and daddy! WOO HOO
2. A tattoo takes about 2 weeks to properly heal.
3. I love Aquafresh Extreme Clean Whitening toothpaste..amazing!
4. Atlas Shrugged is one of the best books I think I have ever read and learned the most from.
5. Jason is a very sensitive and sweet person who I am looking forward to getting to know slowly and naturally. He is one of the most caring individuals that I have ever met!
Thankful January 9, 2005:
I am thankful for old friends. It seems that new friends are exciting and amazing and perplexing all at once but there is something to say for familarity. Talking to Rob was the highlight of my day yesterday because at the end of the conversation he stopped to say "E, I am just so proud of the woman you have become and I would hug you if I was near you." This meant the world to me because Rob knows where I have come from. He knows the ins and outs of my ugly past including things I could not control as a small child. I also remember just how his hugs feel and how enveloping they always were. Rob and I were really good friends so even though everything he says or does isn't NEW and fresh....it is like coming home. Just like it says in Dirty Dancing (ha ha) "Old Friends are the best" (join hands and hearts and voices...voices, hearts, and hands) ha ha
Well peeps, there are my thoughts. Bask in them or perhaps ignore them..whatever you do with them..enjoy your day and ~Shalom~
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Feeling water logged!
Good afternoon blogging community. Hope this day finds you doing marvelous. I am doing actually pretty good considering the circumstances. My joy finally rests in the Lord. Ok, so the title is "feeling water logged" for a few reasons. If you all are living out in California, you are aware that since I touched down at LAX, it has been raining. I have not seen the sun in days. I was looking forward to coming home and running on the beach and I haven't gotten much exposure to the beach without torrents of rain slapping me in the face. Now, I should note, I really like rain but it is bad for Richard's business, brings gloomy thoughts, and inhibits my exercise plan. I am trying not to complain about it but rather bask in the clean of the Earth. Well, as you can see..I am feeling water logged so I am somewhat complaining. I am also feeling water logged because I am drinking so much water right now. I have a pretty bad kidney infection and no medical insurance so I am trying to water it out of my system. If it doesn't go away in the next week or so, I am going to have to find a way to afford a walk in clinic and some antibiotics. They always just kill me!
I have taken a step today that I thought I would never take and am pretty proud of my behavior. Isn't it funny when you know you are becoming an adult? Kinda scary but humorous nottheless. I chose to tell a certain young man that I was not interested in him because of his aim in my life. It was such a tough thing as he was attractive to me, sweet, and overly focused on me and giving me attention. I am slowly learning the good kind of attention and the poor kind of attention. Overall, God was with me through this decision and I feel better knowing I took those steps to correct it.
Life has been pretty good although a little dark lately. I ended up getting a work out last night regardless of the rain and feel good about that. I am eating well in the new year and obeying as much as possible my new years resolutions. I am proud of the fact that I have made resolutions that are doable and am almost excited for 2006 to see what I accomplish. I know that some of them will even be done this week so you have to be thankful for initiative and all of the things that come with it!
Well, I should post my learning experiences for yesterday and the thing I am thankful to God for ..for yesterday. Enjoy:
Learning January 8, 2005:
1. I watched my first episode of anime yesterday and it was very interesting. The graphics were good, the story line was excellent, and I achieved doing something that I wanted to do. I could easily get to like anime and appreciate it for all that it's worth.
2. The Fender Stratocastor is celebrating it's 50th birthday this month. I should tell you if you don't know, that is the most famous guitar that has ever been made. Jarrid has told me about it but I learned this fact on my very own. Pretty proud of this learning experience.
3. I like lean cuisines personal mushroom and spinach pizza. It's really yummy!
4. When you are really looking, you can see through a person's motive for getting to know you. It's amazing how your eyes open when you think about what you are hearing. I think I am going to attract the right people in the new year!
5. Richard Simmons is still the most annoying creature that ever came to Earth, however, his workouts make me sweat like no others. I love how I feel after "Sweatin to the Oldies" ha ha
What I am thankful for on January 8, 2005:
I am thankful for Christian friends. Christian friends are a novelty that you can't ignore in your life. There are reasons that God says we need to have fellowship with other believers. Last night I was in the depths of despair and questioning God's ability to forgive me or provide for my needs and desires. I wasn't even calling anyone and seeking wisdom but someone called me. Ryan, my new friend, who happens to be a Christian, immediately picked up on my problem and coached me into understanding and remembering God's grace, mercy, and love for me. He told me of things in his life that he had learned, guided me in scripture, and totally helped me to see that what I need might not be what I currently desire after. He was absolutely all that God called him to be last night and I appreciate him and all of my other Christian friends who are willing to stand in the gap for me, guide me and mentor me, and love me with everything that they have! Thank you all for being my friends and thank you God for Ryan at the right time!
Shalom everyone and keep on keeping on in the new year!
I have taken a step today that I thought I would never take and am pretty proud of my behavior. Isn't it funny when you know you are becoming an adult? Kinda scary but humorous nottheless. I chose to tell a certain young man that I was not interested in him because of his aim in my life. It was such a tough thing as he was attractive to me, sweet, and overly focused on me and giving me attention. I am slowly learning the good kind of attention and the poor kind of attention. Overall, God was with me through this decision and I feel better knowing I took those steps to correct it.
Life has been pretty good although a little dark lately. I ended up getting a work out last night regardless of the rain and feel good about that. I am eating well in the new year and obeying as much as possible my new years resolutions. I am proud of the fact that I have made resolutions that are doable and am almost excited for 2006 to see what I accomplish. I know that some of them will even be done this week so you have to be thankful for initiative and all of the things that come with it!
Well, I should post my learning experiences for yesterday and the thing I am thankful to God for ..for yesterday. Enjoy:
Learning January 8, 2005:
1. I watched my first episode of anime yesterday and it was very interesting. The graphics were good, the story line was excellent, and I achieved doing something that I wanted to do. I could easily get to like anime and appreciate it for all that it's worth.
2. The Fender Stratocastor is celebrating it's 50th birthday this month. I should tell you if you don't know, that is the most famous guitar that has ever been made. Jarrid has told me about it but I learned this fact on my very own. Pretty proud of this learning experience.
3. I like lean cuisines personal mushroom and spinach pizza. It's really yummy!
4. When you are really looking, you can see through a person's motive for getting to know you. It's amazing how your eyes open when you think about what you are hearing. I think I am going to attract the right people in the new year!
5. Richard Simmons is still the most annoying creature that ever came to Earth, however, his workouts make me sweat like no others. I love how I feel after "Sweatin to the Oldies" ha ha
What I am thankful for on January 8, 2005:
I am thankful for Christian friends. Christian friends are a novelty that you can't ignore in your life. There are reasons that God says we need to have fellowship with other believers. Last night I was in the depths of despair and questioning God's ability to forgive me or provide for my needs and desires. I wasn't even calling anyone and seeking wisdom but someone called me. Ryan, my new friend, who happens to be a Christian, immediately picked up on my problem and coached me into understanding and remembering God's grace, mercy, and love for me. He told me of things in his life that he had learned, guided me in scripture, and totally helped me to see that what I need might not be what I currently desire after. He was absolutely all that God called him to be last night and I appreciate him and all of my other Christian friends who are willing to stand in the gap for me, guide me and mentor me, and love me with everything that they have! Thank you all for being my friends and thank you God for Ryan at the right time!
Shalom everyone and keep on keeping on in the new year!
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Regrets...
Good afternoon peeps! I hope this day brings you much peace and happiness. As for me, I am not at peace in the least. I have been living outside of God's will pretty badly in the past month or so just because my heart is longing for more. I know ideally it would have been wise to seek after that MORE ..with God but instead I sought it out in attention as always. It doesn't help to be self-actualized sometimes if you don't know where to start to change your bad behaviors.
Last night, I learned a valuable lesson. I can't go into specifics because it would damage another person and their reputation but I can say that I really learned a lot about virtue and concrete caring for another person. Today I sit in complete regret over a lot of behaviors and over a lot of stupidity. I sit thinking about what I want and what I need and see the two coinciding finally. I am trying to be the most authentic person that I can in 2005 and it is becoming increasingly difficult.
God is so amazing and will love you regardless of your actions or words but people, won't! People give up on you and leave you in the trenches. People are flawed and crazy to be honest. People will do things with you and then blame you for them. People will stand in the light of mistake and not deal with it head on. My goal is to deal with everything in 2005 in complete aunthenticity and learn exactly what it is that Erica wants. I am going to list 5 things I want today in order to get myself to reread them and direct my behavior accordingly.
1. I want to be close to God and get as close as earthly possible.
2. I want to be with a man of God who is virtue filled and passionate about his Lord.
3. I want to be cherished and respected and sought after.
4. I want to be a wife and mother some day.
5. I want to be happy and fulfilled with whatever I do with my life.
Overall I am just regretful today and trying to turn over new leaves. As you read this, If I have done anything to hurt you...I am sorry. I am going to try to get myself together because I know my actions affect more than just me. Now for my learning experiences and thankfulness for yesterday...
Learning January 7, 2005:
1. The Ralphs club card makes a world of difference. When grocery shopping yesterday I saved over $80.00 on groceries using it.
2. I enjoy a lean cuisine frozen dinner and they have 3 servings of vegetables in them!
3. Rain doesn't really bother me. I like the way it looks hitting the windshield and how it feels when it touches my skin.
4. I discovered a new artist yesterday named Joaquin. He is incredibly talented and sings R&B. A little like Brian McKnight or Usher--like a mix. Just phenomenal talent though in singing and songwriting.
5. Jason is an interesting new person in my life and continues to interest me every single day. We'll see....
What I am thankful for on January 7, 2005:
I am thankful for my Old Navy giftcard that Carrie got me for Christmas. I really like Old Navy's pajamas and I pretty much knew when I went there yesterday that is what I would purchase. I looked around the store at various items like purses, accessories, jeans, t-shirts, socks, etc....because I am normally not a huge Old Navy Shopper just due to having to have dressier clothing. I finally gave up my stupid search for something else and just dealt with the fact that my love for Old Navy pajamas is stronger than the other forces. I went over to the Valentine's day pajama pants area and picked out an adorable pair of red and white plaid pajama pants (no hearts or candy on them) and a white cami to go with it. I was excited as I went to the check out and got a whole pajama outfit for the bargain price of free thanks to Carrie's gift card. There is hardly anything better than a giftcard when you are broke. Thanks to Carrie for that and to God for letting me get out and enjoy something yesterday!
Well, I should get going but hoping to post again tonight. If I don't tonight...will tomorrow! Have a beautiful weekend everyone and ~Shalom~
Last night, I learned a valuable lesson. I can't go into specifics because it would damage another person and their reputation but I can say that I really learned a lot about virtue and concrete caring for another person. Today I sit in complete regret over a lot of behaviors and over a lot of stupidity. I sit thinking about what I want and what I need and see the two coinciding finally. I am trying to be the most authentic person that I can in 2005 and it is becoming increasingly difficult.
God is so amazing and will love you regardless of your actions or words but people, won't! People give up on you and leave you in the trenches. People are flawed and crazy to be honest. People will do things with you and then blame you for them. People will stand in the light of mistake and not deal with it head on. My goal is to deal with everything in 2005 in complete aunthenticity and learn exactly what it is that Erica wants. I am going to list 5 things I want today in order to get myself to reread them and direct my behavior accordingly.
1. I want to be close to God and get as close as earthly possible.
2. I want to be with a man of God who is virtue filled and passionate about his Lord.
3. I want to be cherished and respected and sought after.
4. I want to be a wife and mother some day.
5. I want to be happy and fulfilled with whatever I do with my life.
Overall I am just regretful today and trying to turn over new leaves. As you read this, If I have done anything to hurt you...I am sorry. I am going to try to get myself together because I know my actions affect more than just me. Now for my learning experiences and thankfulness for yesterday...
Learning January 7, 2005:
1. The Ralphs club card makes a world of difference. When grocery shopping yesterday I saved over $80.00 on groceries using it.
2. I enjoy a lean cuisine frozen dinner and they have 3 servings of vegetables in them!
3. Rain doesn't really bother me. I like the way it looks hitting the windshield and how it feels when it touches my skin.
4. I discovered a new artist yesterday named Joaquin. He is incredibly talented and sings R&B. A little like Brian McKnight or Usher--like a mix. Just phenomenal talent though in singing and songwriting.
5. Jason is an interesting new person in my life and continues to interest me every single day. We'll see....
What I am thankful for on January 7, 2005:
I am thankful for my Old Navy giftcard that Carrie got me for Christmas. I really like Old Navy's pajamas and I pretty much knew when I went there yesterday that is what I would purchase. I looked around the store at various items like purses, accessories, jeans, t-shirts, socks, etc....because I am normally not a huge Old Navy Shopper just due to having to have dressier clothing. I finally gave up my stupid search for something else and just dealt with the fact that my love for Old Navy pajamas is stronger than the other forces. I went over to the Valentine's day pajama pants area and picked out an adorable pair of red and white plaid pajama pants (no hearts or candy on them) and a white cami to go with it. I was excited as I went to the check out and got a whole pajama outfit for the bargain price of free thanks to Carrie's gift card. There is hardly anything better than a giftcard when you are broke. Thanks to Carrie for that and to God for letting me get out and enjoy something yesterday!
Well, I should get going but hoping to post again tonight. If I don't tonight...will tomorrow! Have a beautiful weekend everyone and ~Shalom~
Thursday, January 06, 2005
I hate being sick!
Good evening everyone. I wrote earlier about the last few days as I haven't been able to be online with all that I had to do to get caught up with being home again. I have developed a pretty bad kidney infection now and my back is killing me. I am bummed because I hate being sick. It always throws my exercise routine down the toliet. I think I am going to tough it out and work out tonight anyway. I have goals to meet!
Things are pretty great considering I have no second job, a kidney infection, and little to no money! I think this is where you find out what authentic happiness really is. When you can find happiness in the pit of despair, you have arrived. I have a lot of things to get done and I am so tired from having this infection. I slept a lot today trying to catch up but have you noticed that there is no way to do that?
So, to update you on my trip to Indiana, it went well but entirely too long. I have decided that the adequate time period to stay in Indiana is exactly one week. I won't be back there until May though so I will recover before I will have to do it again. California is a great place for me and really does give me all that my heart desires....well maybe not all...but close.
I have been thinking lately about being authentic. I was talking with a friend last night and told him some pretty huge things about myself that I have never told anyone else. I think it's time to share my heart on here. I don't usually hide things but this specific thing ....breaks me. A long time ago in a land far away (1980, Mitchell, Indiana) a little girl was born but was only raised by one parent. My mom raised me virtually alone with the help of my grandparents here and there. Well, she really made it clear that I was to grow up and be independent and never take anything from any MAN! Looking back...that little tidbit of parental wisdom...really messed me up.
I have spent years trying to be the biggest and best Erica that I can be and now all I really want to do is share my life with someone special and be cherished. Don't get me wrong, I really love psychology and it is my passion to the absolute max. I love reading about it, learning it, enacting it etc.. but something in me just wants the dream of having a husband and children. I know you all just had your jaw drop in amazment but I envy people who are in love, married, and have children to raise. I know that a lot of people envy me because I am single, independent, smart, and live in Southern California but there is more to life than all of that.
I was thinking of how if I don't get my mind right, I am going to be a very successful therapist who lives with her dogs. I don't like cats as much as dogs so I picked dogs there. I long for a relationship with a beautiful man of God. I long for someone to look at me with longing and respect coupled together for once. I really want to share my life with someone and stop being so bent on forming some kind of female icon in myself. I really just want to love and be loved.
Wow, vulnerability has officially taken root on the good old blog! So anyway, those are my current thoughts. I have a lot of other current thoughts but I have bared enough of my soul this evening. Now for my learning experiences of the day and of course..what I am thankful for!
Learning January 6, 2005:
1. A kidney infection is inevitable when you NEVER drink Coffee and then have a white chocolate mocha.
2. I have drank right around 4,000,000,000 ounces of water today and I could drink even more because my kidneys are in pain.
3. Texting someone can actually be fun and exhilirating. It's amazing how I feel when a text message comes through from someone special
4. People do want to know me and find ways to see inside me even though I often try to hide the most vulnerable parts of myself.
5. God is always loving me and its in the depths of despair that I feel his love the greatest and it often shows through my friends!
January 6, 2005 thankful....
Today I am thankful for good food. I know this sounds awful being that I am in the middle of a weight loss battle but it will make sense in a minute. I am actually thankful for my basic necessities of life being taken care of. I am a nanny in Newport Beach as most of you know and Richard takes care of my housing, food, cable, internet, utilities, plus pays me! My life is delightful here and he also makes sure and thanks me every day for being a great nanny. I think I am thankful for Richard today. Richard is the best boss and really does care about me and provide a calm and peaceful home for me that I have never experienced. I am happy to live here with he and Chris and I am just so thankful that I have this great job and this great experience. It's overwhelmingly wonderful living here and over and over...I am thankful!!!
Well I should get going but thanks for stopping in and ~Shalom~
Things are pretty great considering I have no second job, a kidney infection, and little to no money! I think this is where you find out what authentic happiness really is. When you can find happiness in the pit of despair, you have arrived. I have a lot of things to get done and I am so tired from having this infection. I slept a lot today trying to catch up but have you noticed that there is no way to do that?
So, to update you on my trip to Indiana, it went well but entirely too long. I have decided that the adequate time period to stay in Indiana is exactly one week. I won't be back there until May though so I will recover before I will have to do it again. California is a great place for me and really does give me all that my heart desires....well maybe not all...but close.
I have been thinking lately about being authentic. I was talking with a friend last night and told him some pretty huge things about myself that I have never told anyone else. I think it's time to share my heart on here. I don't usually hide things but this specific thing ....breaks me. A long time ago in a land far away (1980, Mitchell, Indiana) a little girl was born but was only raised by one parent. My mom raised me virtually alone with the help of my grandparents here and there. Well, she really made it clear that I was to grow up and be independent and never take anything from any MAN! Looking back...that little tidbit of parental wisdom...really messed me up.
I have spent years trying to be the biggest and best Erica that I can be and now all I really want to do is share my life with someone special and be cherished. Don't get me wrong, I really love psychology and it is my passion to the absolute max. I love reading about it, learning it, enacting it etc.. but something in me just wants the dream of having a husband and children. I know you all just had your jaw drop in amazment but I envy people who are in love, married, and have children to raise. I know that a lot of people envy me because I am single, independent, smart, and live in Southern California but there is more to life than all of that.
I was thinking of how if I don't get my mind right, I am going to be a very successful therapist who lives with her dogs. I don't like cats as much as dogs so I picked dogs there. I long for a relationship with a beautiful man of God. I long for someone to look at me with longing and respect coupled together for once. I really want to share my life with someone and stop being so bent on forming some kind of female icon in myself. I really just want to love and be loved.
Wow, vulnerability has officially taken root on the good old blog! So anyway, those are my current thoughts. I have a lot of other current thoughts but I have bared enough of my soul this evening. Now for my learning experiences of the day and of course..what I am thankful for!
Learning January 6, 2005:
1. A kidney infection is inevitable when you NEVER drink Coffee and then have a white chocolate mocha.
2. I have drank right around 4,000,000,000 ounces of water today and I could drink even more because my kidneys are in pain.
3. Texting someone can actually be fun and exhilirating. It's amazing how I feel when a text message comes through from someone special
4. People do want to know me and find ways to see inside me even though I often try to hide the most vulnerable parts of myself.
5. God is always loving me and its in the depths of despair that I feel his love the greatest and it often shows through my friends!
January 6, 2005 thankful....
Today I am thankful for good food. I know this sounds awful being that I am in the middle of a weight loss battle but it will make sense in a minute. I am actually thankful for my basic necessities of life being taken care of. I am a nanny in Newport Beach as most of you know and Richard takes care of my housing, food, cable, internet, utilities, plus pays me! My life is delightful here and he also makes sure and thanks me every day for being a great nanny. I think I am thankful for Richard today. Richard is the best boss and really does care about me and provide a calm and peaceful home for me that I have never experienced. I am happy to live here with he and Chris and I am just so thankful that I have this great job and this great experience. It's overwhelmingly wonderful living here and over and over...I am thankful!!!
Well I should get going but thanks for stopping in and ~Shalom~
Males and what they teach you!
Good afternoon everyone. I have been back in California for a few days but have just been overwhelmed with sleepiness and getting back to normal. I am learning more and more everyday that the best friends you have will tell you the truth and just hit ya hard with it. Last night I was talking with a really great friend of mine for several hours and he just spoke truth to me all over the place.
Lately I have been searching for something...something outside of myself that will make me feel wanted. I have had that all along in my relationship with the Lord but I ignored it. I have been looking for it in a romantic relationship (which by the way, isn't present). I have been selling myself short and looking for someone to find me attractive instead of find me amazing! I have so much to offer in my opinion to the man who finally captures my heart but man is it hard getting to that.
I just met someone new recently and I am highly interested and intrigued at the very least. Sometimes the most unexpected things happen when you aren't looking. When I got back from California I spent the first hour or so back with Joel. He picked me up at the airport and something was just not right. Things are different here. I have changed over the holidays...actually over the last month or two.
I got back to the house and breathed deeply in relief to be here. Drama is plentiful in Indiana and stress even more so. Our cat ended up being in a cabinet so Mimi is safe and sound and well fed. Things here are ok except I do not have a job yet as I just got back. I would appreciate prayers for a new job. Here are my learning experiences for the last couple of days and the things I am thankful for!
January 4, 2005 Learning:
1. I love the smell of Rain and the way I feel when it rains. Rain is like a fresh start.
2. Leaving your home is not the same every time. Sometimes it is like coming home. California is officially my home.
3. I love spending time with Hailey and Riley. I would spend hours riding on fake horses and listening to the Playskool boom box. Kids are great...especially these two!
4. A plane ride is so much better with a great book. I read the whole book Carrie!
5. The guy next to me on the plane remixed techno music with Bennie and the Jets by Elton John and it made me think of Britt.
January 5, 2005 --Learning:
1. 3 hours time difference is substantial and my body sure feels it.
2. California can be just as cold as Indiana and I love it more still
3. The beach never looked so good.
4. Christopher was the best sight on earth in the morning when he came down for Breakfast and smiled when he saw me! I love that boy!
5. My best friends will stay on the phone for 5 hours and tear apart my mixed up logic on love and help me to see the people I should be attracted to!
Ok, here is what I am thankful for:
January 4, 2005:
I left Indiana on this day! I am thankful for Indiana. I am thankful for my friends and family who live there and make it somewhere to go. I am thankful for the endless John Cougar Mellancamp songs, the country roads, mullets as far as the eye can see, and home town hospitality! I am thankful for 24 hour grocery stores, paying after you pump the gas, and being able to go the cemetary and see where the man I admire the most rests (my grandpa) I am thankful for my mama and her cooking, my sisters and their griping, and my friends and their hugs. Thank you all for a wonderful stay!
January 5, 2005:
Last night I was able to chat with someone who I am very interested in. I was able to get to know them better and perhaps start something great up! I just want to let them know I am thankful for meeting them. Be careful as you must but know ...I am turning the pages because I can't stop reading! Thankful indeed
Well everyone, I will most likely write more tonight or tomorrow. Have a great night and ~Shalom~
Lately I have been searching for something...something outside of myself that will make me feel wanted. I have had that all along in my relationship with the Lord but I ignored it. I have been looking for it in a romantic relationship (which by the way, isn't present). I have been selling myself short and looking for someone to find me attractive instead of find me amazing! I have so much to offer in my opinion to the man who finally captures my heart but man is it hard getting to that.
I just met someone new recently and I am highly interested and intrigued at the very least. Sometimes the most unexpected things happen when you aren't looking. When I got back from California I spent the first hour or so back with Joel. He picked me up at the airport and something was just not right. Things are different here. I have changed over the holidays...actually over the last month or two.
I got back to the house and breathed deeply in relief to be here. Drama is plentiful in Indiana and stress even more so. Our cat ended up being in a cabinet so Mimi is safe and sound and well fed. Things here are ok except I do not have a job yet as I just got back. I would appreciate prayers for a new job. Here are my learning experiences for the last couple of days and the things I am thankful for!
January 4, 2005 Learning:
1. I love the smell of Rain and the way I feel when it rains. Rain is like a fresh start.
2. Leaving your home is not the same every time. Sometimes it is like coming home. California is officially my home.
3. I love spending time with Hailey and Riley. I would spend hours riding on fake horses and listening to the Playskool boom box. Kids are great...especially these two!
4. A plane ride is so much better with a great book. I read the whole book Carrie!
5. The guy next to me on the plane remixed techno music with Bennie and the Jets by Elton John and it made me think of Britt.
January 5, 2005 --Learning:
1. 3 hours time difference is substantial and my body sure feels it.
2. California can be just as cold as Indiana and I love it more still
3. The beach never looked so good.
4. Christopher was the best sight on earth in the morning when he came down for Breakfast and smiled when he saw me! I love that boy!
5. My best friends will stay on the phone for 5 hours and tear apart my mixed up logic on love and help me to see the people I should be attracted to!
Ok, here is what I am thankful for:
January 4, 2005:
I left Indiana on this day! I am thankful for Indiana. I am thankful for my friends and family who live there and make it somewhere to go. I am thankful for the endless John Cougar Mellancamp songs, the country roads, mullets as far as the eye can see, and home town hospitality! I am thankful for 24 hour grocery stores, paying after you pump the gas, and being able to go the cemetary and see where the man I admire the most rests (my grandpa) I am thankful for my mama and her cooking, my sisters and their griping, and my friends and their hugs. Thank you all for a wonderful stay!
January 5, 2005:
Last night I was able to chat with someone who I am very interested in. I was able to get to know them better and perhaps start something great up! I just want to let them know I am thankful for meeting them. Be careful as you must but know ...I am turning the pages because I can't stop reading! Thankful indeed
Well everyone, I will most likely write more tonight or tomorrow. Have a great night and ~Shalom~
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
A great night with great friends!
Good evening everyone. Today I have had a great last day in Indiana. I got up today and just kinda chilled around the house until my mom got home from work. We had some lunch and I then went over to the gym with Tasha (my little sister) and Dad. We had a great time working out and I got a great workout in. I did a lot of cardio which means a lot of burned calories. I then went over to Hudsons photography to see my family picture proofs. They are really great! I loved them. When I get them via email I will post them to the web-site so you can all see them. They are absolutely great!
After that I came home and got ready to go out with my favorite girl from Indiana, Carrie. We went up to bloomington to get some dinner at Texas Roadhouse, which is great food. We then went over to Barnes and Nobles and everyone knows I love a bookstore. I got a new book to read on the plane and a new journal as mine is filling up fast. We then headed back home after stopping for some starbucks and then talked in the driveway for a bit. Overall a great night with a great friend. Please pray for Carrie as her family is going through something really tough. I would prefer to keep things under wraps until they know more but please just pray for Carrie and her family overall.
After Carrie left, Jarrid came down and we went for a walk. We walked through town and ended up getting stuck in the rain. We were drenched by the time we got back to my house. One of us more than the other, the one of us who insists on running through puddles. :) I am looking forward to getting back home tomorrow and finding a way to get a new job and be focused on tasks at hand. Overall still doing well on my resolutions. I love California more every day and plan to make the most of living there now more than ever.
Richard called tonight and it ends up that our cat is missing so if you think about it, please pray that we find mimi. She is a cute little thing and we love her very much. She doesn't have claws to defend herself so we are just praying we find her and she gets home safely.
I am just really happy about heading home tomorrow although I will miss my friends and family here. You have to miss people to fully appreciate them though. I will end todays post by telling you what I learned today and what I am grateful for! Have a beautiful day tomorrow and I might post tomorrow's post on Wednesday being that I will be on a plane for about 4.5 hours tomorrow. Enjoy my learning experiences for today and keep praying ya'll! (oh gosh, Indiana has invaded my speech!)
Learning experiences January 3, 2005:
1. Never underestimate a man in sweatpants. Jarrid said this tonight and I thought, "That's witty, I am using it!"
2. There is a beauty to a woman who loves her husband to the highest degree and would do anything and everything to make his dreams come true.
3. It is very fun to run through puddles with your best guy friend and laugh at each other when you are soaking wet from the rain.
4. Jarrid is the strongest guy friend I have. He can lift a lot of weight and is still in great shape no matter what he does or doesn't do.
5. Carrie is a great conversationalist and I have so much in common with her in our ways of thinking. You learn a lot about a person when you bond over dinner!
What I am grateful for on January 3, 2005:
I am grateful that God has allowed me to have Carrie in my life. Carrie is this wonderful woman who is dedicated to her family to the highest degree. She cares deeply about her friends and would give everything she had to be there for you. She took me out to dinner tonight knowing my current situation, brought me great Christmas gifts, and lets me be a part of her adorable children's lives. I love her whole family very much! I am praying for you dear friend and I am so grateful to God for you!
Well have a beautiful day ya'll and ~Shalom~
After that I came home and got ready to go out with my favorite girl from Indiana, Carrie. We went up to bloomington to get some dinner at Texas Roadhouse, which is great food. We then went over to Barnes and Nobles and everyone knows I love a bookstore. I got a new book to read on the plane and a new journal as mine is filling up fast. We then headed back home after stopping for some starbucks and then talked in the driveway for a bit. Overall a great night with a great friend. Please pray for Carrie as her family is going through something really tough. I would prefer to keep things under wraps until they know more but please just pray for Carrie and her family overall.
After Carrie left, Jarrid came down and we went for a walk. We walked through town and ended up getting stuck in the rain. We were drenched by the time we got back to my house. One of us more than the other, the one of us who insists on running through puddles. :) I am looking forward to getting back home tomorrow and finding a way to get a new job and be focused on tasks at hand. Overall still doing well on my resolutions. I love California more every day and plan to make the most of living there now more than ever.
Richard called tonight and it ends up that our cat is missing so if you think about it, please pray that we find mimi. She is a cute little thing and we love her very much. She doesn't have claws to defend herself so we are just praying we find her and she gets home safely.
I am just really happy about heading home tomorrow although I will miss my friends and family here. You have to miss people to fully appreciate them though. I will end todays post by telling you what I learned today and what I am grateful for! Have a beautiful day tomorrow and I might post tomorrow's post on Wednesday being that I will be on a plane for about 4.5 hours tomorrow. Enjoy my learning experiences for today and keep praying ya'll! (oh gosh, Indiana has invaded my speech!)
Learning experiences January 3, 2005:
1. Never underestimate a man in sweatpants. Jarrid said this tonight and I thought, "That's witty, I am using it!"
2. There is a beauty to a woman who loves her husband to the highest degree and would do anything and everything to make his dreams come true.
3. It is very fun to run through puddles with your best guy friend and laugh at each other when you are soaking wet from the rain.
4. Jarrid is the strongest guy friend I have. He can lift a lot of weight and is still in great shape no matter what he does or doesn't do.
5. Carrie is a great conversationalist and I have so much in common with her in our ways of thinking. You learn a lot about a person when you bond over dinner!
What I am grateful for on January 3, 2005:
I am grateful that God has allowed me to have Carrie in my life. Carrie is this wonderful woman who is dedicated to her family to the highest degree. She cares deeply about her friends and would give everything she had to be there for you. She took me out to dinner tonight knowing my current situation, brought me great Christmas gifts, and lets me be a part of her adorable children's lives. I love her whole family very much! I am praying for you dear friend and I am so grateful to God for you!
Well have a beautiful day ya'll and ~Shalom~
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Indiana ...boring as it gets!
Good evening everyone. It's Sunday night and I am enjoying the New Year and very excited to get home to beautiful California. I leave on Tuesday and get home before 10:00 on Tuesday night. I am excited to hang out with a certain boy, see my friends, and overall sleep in my own bed. I have had a good second day of 2005. I did few things today as it's Indiana and boring as it gets...as the title suggests. I woke up and had breakfast with my mom this morning and hung around the house with her and my sisters and finished up my resolutions.
After that I finished watching "50 first dates" and "School of Rock" with Britt and we had a good time. After that we had lunch which consisted of some pretty good spaghetti alfredo. After that Britt and I decided to head to the store to grab some things and rent some new movies since that is all there is in Indiana to do. We rented 4 movies and ended up watching just "Napolean Dynamite" tonight. I have seen it but Britt hadn't. She has to go to school tomorrow for her last semester in High School so she is already in bed.
I went out to my dad's house for Dinner and had a great time hanging with them and watched "Honey" over dinner. I left there at about 9:30 and now I am home blogging for the night before I head out for some prayer and a walk with Jarrid. Life has been good today and I have met all of my resolutions thus far. I have drank a lot of water, been careful about my food intake, going to walk soon, and pray soon plus a few other needed steps on the other resolutions.
I have been sure about learning new things every day of 2005 and being grateful for one thing each day and here are my learning and grateful experiences for the day:
Things I have learned today:
1. I really love eating breakfast with my momma in the quiet of the house before Britt and Hill are up and arguing.
2. I love Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. I have always wanted to look just like Drew Barrymore and lets be honest, I would love to marry a jew just like Adam Sandler! :)
3. My sister, Hilliary, is very talented in Needle point and other crafty type things. She is doing this patriotic needlepoint and it is amazing.
4. My mom is a great packer and I wish I could always have her pack my bags because it was so much more efficient when she did it.
5. People will do whatever is best for themselves and will think of noone else. People overall are very selfish and I hope I can overcome that in my own personal relationships.
Thing I am grateful for on January 2, 2005:
I am grateful that God is looking out for my step-mom. My dad and his wife were planning to get divorced and today there was news broke that they are going to work it out. I am very grateful to God for this because my step mom is a great woman and sweet as it gets. She loves my dad very much and has been a great wife and mother. I really wanted her to be taken care of and my dad to keep the vows he made before God. I am just happy that this is going to happen. Please keep them in prayer as things are very rocky at this time. Thank you everyone!
Well, I should get going to pray and walk with Jarrid so everyone have a beautiful night and keep on keeping on. ~Shalom~
After that I finished watching "50 first dates" and "School of Rock" with Britt and we had a good time. After that we had lunch which consisted of some pretty good spaghetti alfredo. After that Britt and I decided to head to the store to grab some things and rent some new movies since that is all there is in Indiana to do. We rented 4 movies and ended up watching just "Napolean Dynamite" tonight. I have seen it but Britt hadn't. She has to go to school tomorrow for her last semester in High School so she is already in bed.
I went out to my dad's house for Dinner and had a great time hanging with them and watched "Honey" over dinner. I left there at about 9:30 and now I am home blogging for the night before I head out for some prayer and a walk with Jarrid. Life has been good today and I have met all of my resolutions thus far. I have drank a lot of water, been careful about my food intake, going to walk soon, and pray soon plus a few other needed steps on the other resolutions.
I have been sure about learning new things every day of 2005 and being grateful for one thing each day and here are my learning and grateful experiences for the day:
Things I have learned today:
1. I really love eating breakfast with my momma in the quiet of the house before Britt and Hill are up and arguing.
2. I love Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. I have always wanted to look just like Drew Barrymore and lets be honest, I would love to marry a jew just like Adam Sandler! :)
3. My sister, Hilliary, is very talented in Needle point and other crafty type things. She is doing this patriotic needlepoint and it is amazing.
4. My mom is a great packer and I wish I could always have her pack my bags because it was so much more efficient when she did it.
5. People will do whatever is best for themselves and will think of noone else. People overall are very selfish and I hope I can overcome that in my own personal relationships.
Thing I am grateful for on January 2, 2005:
I am grateful that God is looking out for my step-mom. My dad and his wife were planning to get divorced and today there was news broke that they are going to work it out. I am very grateful to God for this because my step mom is a great woman and sweet as it gets. She loves my dad very much and has been a great wife and mother. I really wanted her to be taken care of and my dad to keep the vows he made before God. I am just happy that this is going to happen. Please keep them in prayer as things are very rocky at this time. Thank you everyone!
Well, I should get going to pray and walk with Jarrid so everyone have a beautiful night and keep on keeping on. ~Shalom~
31-50 Resolutions for 2005!
Good Morning everyone. Today is only the 2nd day of 2005 and it is going really well so far. I ended my night last night with a walk with Jarrid. I love Jarrid so much and it's always nice to just talk with him and be in his presence. I am trying to remember in 2005 to enjoy the moment I am in completely. I should not be wishing for new moments but enjoying that one step I am taking with a man I love dearly. I have decided to have 50 total resolutions this year. I am more into goals than resolutions but ideally these are 31-50 of the resolutions I plan to complete in 2005.
31. Eat breakfast every day of 2005.
32. Take a multivitamin every day of 2005.
33. Drink 64 ounces of water every day of 2005.
34. Work out in some way every day of 2005. This can be taking a short walk, doing weights, aerobics, shopping, etc...but I must be intentionally moving every day!
35. Lose 35 lbs at least by May when I come home for Britt's graduation.
36. Work arms out at least 3 days a week due to them being very weak.
37. Work abs out 4 days a week in 2005. I have terrible love handles.
38. Have graduate school application in by February 1, 2005 to Vanguard.
39. Save $10.00 of each paycheck in 2005 at least and place in a savings account in order to develop some savings.
40. Record all spending in 2005 to see where all of my money goes. (my guess is food)
41. Get over Adolfo in 2005 by actually dealing with all of our baggage.
42. Have a beautiful V-day in 2005 even if I don't have a date by loving myself!
43. Get dental work done in 2005 fixing my broken tooth and possibly more.
44. Limit intake of red meat to 3 times a week in 2005.
45. Eat no pork products in 2005. (sausage, bacon, ham, pork chops etc...)--actually had ham yesterday but hated it....moving out of pork for the rest of 2005.
46. Read at least one psychology type book every two months in 2005...totaling 6 books in all throughout 2005.
47. Take lessons to learn something new in 2005 regardless of what it is...piano, karate, guitar, drums, etc... whatever comes to mind.
48. Write one thing each day that I am thankful for in order to fully develop a sense of gratefulness toward God.
49. Practice giving others space in 2005 by limiting phone calls and things such as that when I feel I have gone overboard.
50. Use caution and be protected in every case. Don't take stupid risks!!! (you know what this means Erica)
Ok, so these are my resolutions for 2005 in their completeness. Since I thought of a few more that I didn't do for yesterday I have to complete them today. The one that I need to complete right away is the thing I am thankful for, for yesterday. Here is January 1, 2005's thankful thing...
I am thankful to have a friend like Jarrid who walks with me at night and protects me. He stands in between me and danger in every case. If there is a dog coming on the side of the road, he puts himself between me and the dog just in case. He laughs at my jokes, understands my humor, feels my pain, and shares his heart with me. I love Jarrid so much and I am so lucky to have him in my life. He cares about making himself better and strives for good things. I am impressed by him and believe him to be a very beautiful man. Thank you God for Jarrid Davis!
Well everyone, I hope your January 2nd is beautiful and use it to grow. Be good and ~Shalom~
31. Eat breakfast every day of 2005.
32. Take a multivitamin every day of 2005.
33. Drink 64 ounces of water every day of 2005.
34. Work out in some way every day of 2005. This can be taking a short walk, doing weights, aerobics, shopping, etc...but I must be intentionally moving every day!
35. Lose 35 lbs at least by May when I come home for Britt's graduation.
36. Work arms out at least 3 days a week due to them being very weak.
37. Work abs out 4 days a week in 2005. I have terrible love handles.
38. Have graduate school application in by February 1, 2005 to Vanguard.
39. Save $10.00 of each paycheck in 2005 at least and place in a savings account in order to develop some savings.
40. Record all spending in 2005 to see where all of my money goes. (my guess is food)
41. Get over Adolfo in 2005 by actually dealing with all of our baggage.
42. Have a beautiful V-day in 2005 even if I don't have a date by loving myself!
43. Get dental work done in 2005 fixing my broken tooth and possibly more.
44. Limit intake of red meat to 3 times a week in 2005.
45. Eat no pork products in 2005. (sausage, bacon, ham, pork chops etc...)--actually had ham yesterday but hated it....moving out of pork for the rest of 2005.
46. Read at least one psychology type book every two months in 2005...totaling 6 books in all throughout 2005.
47. Take lessons to learn something new in 2005 regardless of what it is...piano, karate, guitar, drums, etc... whatever comes to mind.
48. Write one thing each day that I am thankful for in order to fully develop a sense of gratefulness toward God.
49. Practice giving others space in 2005 by limiting phone calls and things such as that when I feel I have gone overboard.
50. Use caution and be protected in every case. Don't take stupid risks!!! (you know what this means Erica)
Ok, so these are my resolutions for 2005 in their completeness. Since I thought of a few more that I didn't do for yesterday I have to complete them today. The one that I need to complete right away is the thing I am thankful for, for yesterday. Here is January 1, 2005's thankful thing...
I am thankful to have a friend like Jarrid who walks with me at night and protects me. He stands in between me and danger in every case. If there is a dog coming on the side of the road, he puts himself between me and the dog just in case. He laughs at my jokes, understands my humor, feels my pain, and shares his heart with me. I love Jarrid so much and I am so lucky to have him in my life. He cares about making himself better and strives for good things. I am impressed by him and believe him to be a very beautiful man. Thank you God for Jarrid Davis!
Well everyone, I hope your January 2nd is beautiful and use it to grow. Be good and ~Shalom~
Saturday, January 01, 2005
A good start indeed.
Good evening everyone. I am still kickin it in Southern Indiana with my family tonight. I am here for another 2 and 1/2 days. I have had an ok time while I have been here but it's been pretty boring with 2 feet of snow on the ground almost the entire time I have been here. Things have happened while I have been here to really disturb me but I am trying to let everything roll off. I am getting a bit nervous about going back to California and kicking it into gear to try to get a new job and pay my bills on time.
My first day of 2005 actually has gone pretty well. I woke up this afternoon and wrote some new resolutions. My dad called and asked if I wanted to go and work out so I headed with him to the gym at around noon. While I was there, I ran into a guy that I met at the tattoo parlor the other night named Marcus. Marcus is very good looking and sweet also. He is a tattoo artist at Evolution. I think he has a girlfriend and quite possibly a child on the way but either way, he is an interesting thing to see and hang out with while working out.
I ended up challenging myself quite a bit at the gym and then Dad took me back home. My mom fixed a nice big meal for New Years consisting of Ham, mashed potatoes, vegetables, cole slaw, rolls, deviled eggs...the works. I love Indiana eating although it hates me. I then went and took a short nap since my belly was full. I got up after that and hung out with my family for a while and just finished watching "The Secret Window." I had seen it in the theater but Britt wanted to watch it and I am always up for a second viewing of Johnny Depp.
My new tattoo is in the very annoying stage of peeling and itching. It's a lot like a sunburn. He is still really cute and I'll be happy when he is done healing. I have to really fall in love with him since he is permanent. It's nice to be happy with something right now since it has been a while since I have been pleased with anything. Life has been pretty hard lately. Overall, I am going to be happy in 2005.
Well, as I wrote earlier today, I plan to write 5 things each day that I have learned in 2005 and I wanted to start that this evening. So far the resolutions are going well for the first day. I am getting ready to go for a late night walk and pray so I am working towards keeping things up. Here are my learning experiences for January 1, 2005:
1. I don't like Ham anymore. Ham is too salty for me and since I have tried to cut pork out...my stomach doesn't really like it either. I think I am cutting ham out of my diet completely.
2. I love the way it feels to work out. A work out is one of the most exhilirating experiences I ever have. I love to run on the treadmill, work out my legs, do a great upper body workout and take a late night walk. I love exercise and it is amazing.
3. My dad is an incredibly sensitive person and is quite a romantic. He has a lot of great ideas about what love is about and is trying desperately to find his 2nd or 3rd chance at it. He really does know how to romantically love someone but has just come to the point where he loves himself enough to love another.
4. It is always best to keep a secret if someone has asked you to. I kept a very important secret recently and it backfired on me in a small way but overall was the best action to take. It is always best to use discretion when dealing with yours or anyone elses personal life.
5. A tattoo is remarkably like a sunburn. You go through the first stage of it burning like your flesh is falling off, the second stage of extreme itchiness, and the third stage of peeling. Eventually it's a beautiful thing but considerably like a sunburn.
Well, that's all I have for today. I do hope you all had a great first day of the year and you are pushing forward on being a better person in the new year. Loving you all so much and wishing you a peaceful 2005. ~Shalom~
My first day of 2005 actually has gone pretty well. I woke up this afternoon and wrote some new resolutions. My dad called and asked if I wanted to go and work out so I headed with him to the gym at around noon. While I was there, I ran into a guy that I met at the tattoo parlor the other night named Marcus. Marcus is very good looking and sweet also. He is a tattoo artist at Evolution. I think he has a girlfriend and quite possibly a child on the way but either way, he is an interesting thing to see and hang out with while working out.
I ended up challenging myself quite a bit at the gym and then Dad took me back home. My mom fixed a nice big meal for New Years consisting of Ham, mashed potatoes, vegetables, cole slaw, rolls, deviled eggs...the works. I love Indiana eating although it hates me. I then went and took a short nap since my belly was full. I got up after that and hung out with my family for a while and just finished watching "The Secret Window." I had seen it in the theater but Britt wanted to watch it and I am always up for a second viewing of Johnny Depp.
My new tattoo is in the very annoying stage of peeling and itching. It's a lot like a sunburn. He is still really cute and I'll be happy when he is done healing. I have to really fall in love with him since he is permanent. It's nice to be happy with something right now since it has been a while since I have been pleased with anything. Life has been pretty hard lately. Overall, I am going to be happy in 2005.
Well, as I wrote earlier today, I plan to write 5 things each day that I have learned in 2005 and I wanted to start that this evening. So far the resolutions are going well for the first day. I am getting ready to go for a late night walk and pray so I am working towards keeping things up. Here are my learning experiences for January 1, 2005:
1. I don't like Ham anymore. Ham is too salty for me and since I have tried to cut pork out...my stomach doesn't really like it either. I think I am cutting ham out of my diet completely.
2. I love the way it feels to work out. A work out is one of the most exhilirating experiences I ever have. I love to run on the treadmill, work out my legs, do a great upper body workout and take a late night walk. I love exercise and it is amazing.
3. My dad is an incredibly sensitive person and is quite a romantic. He has a lot of great ideas about what love is about and is trying desperately to find his 2nd or 3rd chance at it. He really does know how to romantically love someone but has just come to the point where he loves himself enough to love another.
4. It is always best to keep a secret if someone has asked you to. I kept a very important secret recently and it backfired on me in a small way but overall was the best action to take. It is always best to use discretion when dealing with yours or anyone elses personal life.
5. A tattoo is remarkably like a sunburn. You go through the first stage of it burning like your flesh is falling off, the second stage of extreme itchiness, and the third stage of peeling. Eventually it's a beautiful thing but considerably like a sunburn.
Well, that's all I have for today. I do hope you all had a great first day of the year and you are pushing forward on being a better person in the new year. Loving you all so much and wishing you a peaceful 2005. ~Shalom~
11-30 Resolutions for 2005
Good Morning everyone. It is the first day of 2005 and it feels good to have a starting over point. Here are some more resolutions that I would like to work on in the new year. I will also be posting learning experiences every day in 2005 so I know that I am learning something and I won't forget the lessons learned. That will come at the end of each day where I will tell you the 5 main lessons I have learned. By the end of the year, I will have learned 1,825 important lessons. Here are the resolutions that I have thought of....
11. Learn something new everyday in 2005 and record those lessons in my blog and journal.
12. Read through the Bible for the second time around
13. Test blood sugar at least once a week throughout 2005.
14. Weigh myself every Saturday of 2005 and record in a journal.
15. Make sure and tell the people I love that I love them every time I talk to them in 2005.
16. Maintain good email and phone contact with my friends and family. At least one call or email per week to each person.
17. Send one random card a month to people I love and let them know what I feel about them.
18. Buy one dress and wear it out in 2005.
19. Buy a swimsuit and wear it in front of someone in 2005 (non family member)
20. Have at least 2 professional pictures taken in 2005 to document any weight loss.
21. Maintain web-site well and keep it updated with new photos and news.
22. Take as many pictures as I can afford to take.
23. Create a scrapbook of all of my pictures and make those memories last.
24. Go on a cruise to Mexico with my favorite Boy!
25. Visit Josh in Colorado during the summer.
26. Finish reading Atlas Shrugged.
27. Have Carrie out at my place sometime in 2005.
28. Save money for Christmas to be able to get the people I love something great!
29. Pray everyday no matter how I am feeling or what I am doing wrong. Go humbly before the throne of God daily.
30. Pay off hospital bills in Collections as soon as possible in 2005.
Ok, there are some new resolutions. I am keeping them coming. There are 365 days to complete all of these things and I think I'll do it. I am very confident in my ability to achieve all of my goals. Well, have a beautiful 1st of January and stay on task this year everyone. I love you all dearly!
~Shalom~
11. Learn something new everyday in 2005 and record those lessons in my blog and journal.
12. Read through the Bible for the second time around
13. Test blood sugar at least once a week throughout 2005.
14. Weigh myself every Saturday of 2005 and record in a journal.
15. Make sure and tell the people I love that I love them every time I talk to them in 2005.
16. Maintain good email and phone contact with my friends and family. At least one call or email per week to each person.
17. Send one random card a month to people I love and let them know what I feel about them.
18. Buy one dress and wear it out in 2005.
19. Buy a swimsuit and wear it in front of someone in 2005 (non family member)
20. Have at least 2 professional pictures taken in 2005 to document any weight loss.
21. Maintain web-site well and keep it updated with new photos and news.
22. Take as many pictures as I can afford to take.
23. Create a scrapbook of all of my pictures and make those memories last.
24. Go on a cruise to Mexico with my favorite Boy!
25. Visit Josh in Colorado during the summer.
26. Finish reading Atlas Shrugged.
27. Have Carrie out at my place sometime in 2005.
28. Save money for Christmas to be able to get the people I love something great!
29. Pray everyday no matter how I am feeling or what I am doing wrong. Go humbly before the throne of God daily.
30. Pay off hospital bills in Collections as soon as possible in 2005.
Ok, there are some new resolutions. I am keeping them coming. There are 365 days to complete all of these things and I think I'll do it. I am very confident in my ability to achieve all of my goals. Well, have a beautiful 1st of January and stay on task this year everyone. I love you all dearly!
~Shalom~
1-10 resolutions for 2005!
Happy New Years Everyone! 2005 is finally here and boy oh boy am I going to spank it this year!!!!! Here are my resolutions...1-10.
1. Lose the rest of my weight. Current weight 228 lbs---Goal weight 125 lbs. (still to lose 103 lbs)
2. Decide where to go for Graduate School and apply to all schools considered.
3. Get into a graduate school in a clinical psych program.
4. Get a second job that I don't hate and make at least $3,000 a month.
5. Pay off the Cavie in full and save $200 a month from May on.
6. Go home for Britt's graduation in May.
7. Pay $250 a month on accumulated debt in an attempt to pay off.
8. Handle Student Loans and make sure they are consolidated.
9. Find a church that I really like and attend faithfully.
10. Develop a consistent and healthy relationship with my father no matter what.
Ok, there are 1-10 of the new resolutions. I will be writing more as they progress. I have mini goals and mega goals such as the ones above. Well, I should get going. Happy New Years everyone and make 2005 count! ~Shalom~
1. Lose the rest of my weight. Current weight 228 lbs---Goal weight 125 lbs. (still to lose 103 lbs)
2. Decide where to go for Graduate School and apply to all schools considered.
3. Get into a graduate school in a clinical psych program.
4. Get a second job that I don't hate and make at least $3,000 a month.
5. Pay off the Cavie in full and save $200 a month from May on.
6. Go home for Britt's graduation in May.
7. Pay $250 a month on accumulated debt in an attempt to pay off.
8. Handle Student Loans and make sure they are consolidated.
9. Find a church that I really like and attend faithfully.
10. Develop a consistent and healthy relationship with my father no matter what.
Ok, there are 1-10 of the new resolutions. I will be writing more as they progress. I have mini goals and mega goals such as the ones above. Well, I should get going. Happy New Years everyone and make 2005 count! ~Shalom~
Friday, December 31, 2004
2004..ending at last
This is the last post I will be writing in 2004. This doesn't sadden me in the least since 2004 was a complete nightmare. I love that 2005 is right around the corner so that I can start doing something different in the new year. I know I don't require a new year to do new things but it feels good to have a fresh start. Here are my last learning experiences of 2004:
1. Tattoos start to itch so badly that you want to tear your flesh off rather than have it on there.
2. People are much deeper than you would think when you ask them important questions.
3. Love has to wait as long as you can withstand it because it makes you realize how much its worth.
4. I will be 25 in 2005 and it's amazing to think of myself as a grown up!
5. Graduate school scares me to death.
6. I really like tattoos and wouldn't mind getting a few more that are only visible to me.
7. I hate packing and would rather just buy new clothes wherever I end up.
8. You only live once...live it up!!!!
9. Steven is one of the hottest people I know, and I enjoy him!
10. I am so over Indiana!!!
11. California is where I belong.
12. The people who look the least likely to be great, are the best people I have ever known.
13. Joel is my best friend and can be counted on in EVERY situation.
14. Britt and I again....have so much fun together. I can't wait for her to come out for Spring Break.
15. Losing weight is the hardest thing anyone has ever tried to do..I am sure of it.
16. Finding a new job scares me a little but excites me a lot.
17. I love living with Richard and Chris and I am so happy to be in their lives.
18. Pictures are my absolute favorite thing in life.
19. I am pretty sure that everyone grows distant no matter what you try to do about it.
20. Although 2004 was a crappy year, it was one of the best in growing and learning. I appreciate all that it brought me..including the scars!
Thank you all for a beautiful year. I appreciate all of your friendship and love. Stay tuned because tomorrow...resolutions!
~Shalom~
1. Tattoos start to itch so badly that you want to tear your flesh off rather than have it on there.
2. People are much deeper than you would think when you ask them important questions.
3. Love has to wait as long as you can withstand it because it makes you realize how much its worth.
4. I will be 25 in 2005 and it's amazing to think of myself as a grown up!
5. Graduate school scares me to death.
6. I really like tattoos and wouldn't mind getting a few more that are only visible to me.
7. I hate packing and would rather just buy new clothes wherever I end up.
8. You only live once...live it up!!!!
9. Steven is one of the hottest people I know, and I enjoy him!
10. I am so over Indiana!!!
11. California is where I belong.
12. The people who look the least likely to be great, are the best people I have ever known.
13. Joel is my best friend and can be counted on in EVERY situation.
14. Britt and I again....have so much fun together. I can't wait for her to come out for Spring Break.
15. Losing weight is the hardest thing anyone has ever tried to do..I am sure of it.
16. Finding a new job scares me a little but excites me a lot.
17. I love living with Richard and Chris and I am so happy to be in their lives.
18. Pictures are my absolute favorite thing in life.
19. I am pretty sure that everyone grows distant no matter what you try to do about it.
20. Although 2004 was a crappy year, it was one of the best in growing and learning. I appreciate all that it brought me..including the scars!
Thank you all for a beautiful year. I appreciate all of your friendship and love. Stay tuned because tomorrow...resolutions!
~Shalom~
Thursday, December 30, 2004
2004, a learning year
Hello everyone and it's almost 2005~ I am excited about it being 2005 because that is a starting over point. This year has been very hard for me although I have learned a lot. I am looking to find more learning in 2005 and perhaps a little more happiness. Here is what I am learning:
1. Everyone lies about Tattoos. They don't really hurt that badly.
2. You should never do something just because someone else wants you to but do what you want to do because you are only young once.
3. Don't worry about what others like about you...worry about what you like about you.
4. My friends from back in the day in Mitchell, might be the best friends I will ever have.
5. There is nothing better than seeing someone you haven't seen for years and knowing they are happy to see you.
6. There is much joy in having someone say "Gosh, Erica, you look great!" when you have lost a lot of weight.
7. Pictures in cowboy hats are always better than any others you do.
8. I would never get my nose pierced...britt got hers done and she has had a lot of issues with it. Looks cute though britt!
9. Meat lovers pizza at Pizza hut is great no matter what size it is in and feels better when you sneak it.
10. A handshake it way funnier than a high five.
11. My new saying is "Like it was my name!"
12. My friends don't tell me anything!
13. I am going to start backing off from boys...they are poison to me sometimes.
14. A tattoo starts to itch the 2nd day and here is a small suggestion..don't scratch in your sleep..you will wake up crying! :(
15. Brittany really is the best friend I will EVER have. We have so much fun together.
16. I am really sad that Britt is growing up but pretty happy about it too because it means we are adults together.
17. There are times when the most unlikely things happen and you think..."What are the odds?"
18. Lawyers are awful people!
19. I like water so much better than soda.
20. Lubriderm sensitive skin lotion is the key to a great tattoo!
well, that's todays learning experiences. Pretty soon I will be posting my resolutions. I encourage all of you to make goals for 2005 and meet them. You won't be sorry!
~Shalom~
1. Everyone lies about Tattoos. They don't really hurt that badly.
2. You should never do something just because someone else wants you to but do what you want to do because you are only young once.
3. Don't worry about what others like about you...worry about what you like about you.
4. My friends from back in the day in Mitchell, might be the best friends I will ever have.
5. There is nothing better than seeing someone you haven't seen for years and knowing they are happy to see you.
6. There is much joy in having someone say "Gosh, Erica, you look great!" when you have lost a lot of weight.
7. Pictures in cowboy hats are always better than any others you do.
8. I would never get my nose pierced...britt got hers done and she has had a lot of issues with it. Looks cute though britt!
9. Meat lovers pizza at Pizza hut is great no matter what size it is in and feels better when you sneak it.
10. A handshake it way funnier than a high five.
11. My new saying is "Like it was my name!"
12. My friends don't tell me anything!
13. I am going to start backing off from boys...they are poison to me sometimes.
14. A tattoo starts to itch the 2nd day and here is a small suggestion..don't scratch in your sleep..you will wake up crying! :(
15. Brittany really is the best friend I will EVER have. We have so much fun together.
16. I am really sad that Britt is growing up but pretty happy about it too because it means we are adults together.
17. There are times when the most unlikely things happen and you think..."What are the odds?"
18. Lawyers are awful people!
19. I like water so much better than soda.
20. Lubriderm sensitive skin lotion is the key to a great tattoo!
well, that's todays learning experiences. Pretty soon I will be posting my resolutions. I encourage all of you to make goals for 2005 and meet them. You won't be sorry!
~Shalom~
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Learning is great fun...2004
Hello everyone. Another day of great learning experiences. I had an interesting day today already and some of the learning experiences come from there. Here are some of them:
1. If you blow a tire on the side of Highway 37, you better hope you have a great friend named Jarrid to come and help you out :)
2. Pictures are so fun to do and they can really get you out of a funky mood after a blown tire.
3. A cowboy hat looks good on most boys.
4. There are crazy people in my life and it's not just me, they are CRAZY!
5. There is absolutely nothing to do in Indiana when you don't have a car and there is 2 feet of snow on the ground.
6. Fudge tastes great by the pan!!
7. My teenage mutant ninja turtle slippers are HOT!
8. Confidence and intelligence are the 2 hottest characteristics of any I know.
9. My new friends in my life are great!
10. I really love a great set of lips!
11. Solitude is great and I need to find a way to appreciate it.
12. When you hide things from others, even when you have been asked to, they will most likely be mad at you... when it all comes out.
13. I love persimmon pudding and crave it every time I am home.
14. My little sister has interesting gag reflexes.
15. Hilliary's "goth" make-up shade is exactly the color of my face...how sad :(
16. There are these new socks that feel like you are walking in Jell-o. They feel so good on your feet.
17. It takes several days for me to get over my broken cowboy hat.
18. There is a place in my hair that sticks up when I am getting my picture taken
19. I need to exercise or I might go crazy
20. I hate being indoors after only 1 day!!!!!
Ok, I am going to go and work on my New Year's resolutions now since I am stuck in Indiana ...home bound and bored out of my stinkin mind. Thanks for stopping in and keep learning! ~Shalom~
1. If you blow a tire on the side of Highway 37, you better hope you have a great friend named Jarrid to come and help you out :)
2. Pictures are so fun to do and they can really get you out of a funky mood after a blown tire.
3. A cowboy hat looks good on most boys.
4. There are crazy people in my life and it's not just me, they are CRAZY!
5. There is absolutely nothing to do in Indiana when you don't have a car and there is 2 feet of snow on the ground.
6. Fudge tastes great by the pan!!
7. My teenage mutant ninja turtle slippers are HOT!
8. Confidence and intelligence are the 2 hottest characteristics of any I know.
9. My new friends in my life are great!
10. I really love a great set of lips!
11. Solitude is great and I need to find a way to appreciate it.
12. When you hide things from others, even when you have been asked to, they will most likely be mad at you... when it all comes out.
13. I love persimmon pudding and crave it every time I am home.
14. My little sister has interesting gag reflexes.
15. Hilliary's "goth" make-up shade is exactly the color of my face...how sad :(
16. There are these new socks that feel like you are walking in Jell-o. They feel so good on your feet.
17. It takes several days for me to get over my broken cowboy hat.
18. There is a place in my hair that sticks up when I am getting my picture taken
19. I need to exercise or I might go crazy
20. I hate being indoors after only 1 day!!!!!
Ok, I am going to go and work on my New Year's resolutions now since I am stuck in Indiana ...home bound and bored out of my stinkin mind. Thanks for stopping in and keep learning! ~Shalom~
Monday, December 27, 2004
Learning like it's my job...2004
Hello everyone. I am still learning tons in the last couple of days of 2004. I am still in the frozen tundra of Indiana and it's freezing here. The snow is about 2 feet on the ground and it's incredibly hard to get anywhere unless you have a 4 wheel drive. Luckily my dad has an explorer so that has been the basis of most of my traveling. Ok, well here is what I am learning in 2004:
1. Pepper will only take so much and then he will hiss at me and want me to die a horrible death.
2. Mexican Wedding Cake is my favorite cookie (poofernussy)
3. Arby's is still my favorite fast food.
4. Questions directed in the right sense will tell you everything you need to know about someone!
5. A C magnet will properly adjust to create a U magnet.
6. Extreme Makeover Home Edition makes me cry.
7. Turkey makes me pass out...no doubt about it.
8. I laugh a lot in my sleep.
9. My dad's cats should be made into scarves and soup. They are the most annoying creatures that ever graced the planet
10. My pants get tighter the longer I am in Indiana.
11. I love my Adidas running pants.
12. I miss my California people when I don't get to see them.
13. I really don't like when someone calls me "California Chick" and assumes that I have all the time in the world to go to the beach and actually swim.
14. I hate when people say "Man, you can tell you drive in California!"
15. Christmas is a sad time when your family is struggling and you are too!
16. There is a ornament from the Hallmark Collection that is Yertle the Turtle and I love it!
17. No matter how much time passes, what you do, or how much you pretend they arent...Crazy people..stay crazy! (not a sentence for a psychology major to ever say!)
18. In Indiana, there is an "R" in the word wash. (I need to get some more windshield WARSHER fluid)
19. Indiana people still think it's ok to decorate their tree in John Deere ornaments.
20. There is a new redneck dictionary word or phrase "A pair" like....I had to go a pair and see my folks for Christmas"
Ok, there are my learning experiences for today. Hope you enjoyed! ~Shalom~
1. Pepper will only take so much and then he will hiss at me and want me to die a horrible death.
2. Mexican Wedding Cake is my favorite cookie (poofernussy)
3. Arby's is still my favorite fast food.
4. Questions directed in the right sense will tell you everything you need to know about someone!
5. A C magnet will properly adjust to create a U magnet.
6. Extreme Makeover Home Edition makes me cry.
7. Turkey makes me pass out...no doubt about it.
8. I laugh a lot in my sleep.
9. My dad's cats should be made into scarves and soup. They are the most annoying creatures that ever graced the planet
10. My pants get tighter the longer I am in Indiana.
11. I love my Adidas running pants.
12. I miss my California people when I don't get to see them.
13. I really don't like when someone calls me "California Chick" and assumes that I have all the time in the world to go to the beach and actually swim.
14. I hate when people say "Man, you can tell you drive in California!"
15. Christmas is a sad time when your family is struggling and you are too!
16. There is a ornament from the Hallmark Collection that is Yertle the Turtle and I love it!
17. No matter how much time passes, what you do, or how much you pretend they arent...Crazy people..stay crazy! (not a sentence for a psychology major to ever say!)
18. In Indiana, there is an "R" in the word wash. (I need to get some more windshield WARSHER fluid)
19. Indiana people still think it's ok to decorate their tree in John Deere ornaments.
20. There is a new redneck dictionary word or phrase "A pair" like....I had to go a pair and see my folks for Christmas"
Ok, there are my learning experiences for today. Hope you enjoyed! ~Shalom~
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Learning still....2004
First of all Merry Christmas everyone. I hope this Christmas finds you all doing marvelous. I am having a beautiful day with my family. My mommas cooking is amazing and I got a new cd that I wanted. I have learned so much this year and although I have struggled much, I have also had a lot of joy. I love you all dearly and wish I could have gotten you all your greatest wish. Here is what I have learned in 2004 again:
1. White Christmas is still my favorite Christmas movie and it still makes me tear up a little thinking of my grandma!
2. Turkey is only wonderful when my mommy makes it!
3. Getting up at 5:00 in the morning and talking with my big sister is inevitable when we both catch a germ from the pentecostals that cursed us.
4. There are people in high school that will do things to you and they WILL remember later when they run into the supermarket. (Hill, this was so funny)
5. The Amish make the best peanut brittle
6. Never pack a cowboy hat in your luggage, they broke my favorite hat! :(
7. Peanut butter is better out of the jar and only when it's Jif Creamy!
8. An Eckrich hot dog is better than any hot dog on the planet. I wish California would carry them.
9. There is nothing Brittany Hates more than stuffing.
10. Snow is pretty when you are inside and doesn't feel good when it freezes your nose hair.
11. It takes approximately 6 tries to get a Mercury Cougar into the driveway full of snow.
12. Don't give people brooms in Ace Hardware to ride just because they are being a witch...mom will get mad.
13. There is a tree in Indiana that has two bushes on each side that are lit up and look like a part of the male anatomy. Use your imagination.
14. Men will stare at you even if you think they are repulsive and know about their STD's
15. Embalming should not be a qualification you list if you want to date someone. Do not take your family to Chastains. ;)
16. There is a noise that comes out of Britt that sounds almost exactly like a duck.
17. A book and some perfume can make your mom happy for Christmas!
18. Your best friends will call you on Christmas Eve and tell you Merry Christmas. I love you "Joshie"
19. That drama queen movie with Lindsey Lohan is even worse the second time.
20. Denny's is the best breakfast in the world after a 4.5 hour plane ride! :)
1. White Christmas is still my favorite Christmas movie and it still makes me tear up a little thinking of my grandma!
2. Turkey is only wonderful when my mommy makes it!
3. Getting up at 5:00 in the morning and talking with my big sister is inevitable when we both catch a germ from the pentecostals that cursed us.
4. There are people in high school that will do things to you and they WILL remember later when they run into the supermarket. (Hill, this was so funny)
5. The Amish make the best peanut brittle
6. Never pack a cowboy hat in your luggage, they broke my favorite hat! :(
7. Peanut butter is better out of the jar and only when it's Jif Creamy!
8. An Eckrich hot dog is better than any hot dog on the planet. I wish California would carry them.
9. There is nothing Brittany Hates more than stuffing.
10. Snow is pretty when you are inside and doesn't feel good when it freezes your nose hair.
11. It takes approximately 6 tries to get a Mercury Cougar into the driveway full of snow.
12. Don't give people brooms in Ace Hardware to ride just because they are being a witch...mom will get mad.
13. There is a tree in Indiana that has two bushes on each side that are lit up and look like a part of the male anatomy. Use your imagination.
14. Men will stare at you even if you think they are repulsive and know about their STD's
15. Embalming should not be a qualification you list if you want to date someone. Do not take your family to Chastains. ;)
16. There is a noise that comes out of Britt that sounds almost exactly like a duck.
17. A book and some perfume can make your mom happy for Christmas!
18. Your best friends will call you on Christmas Eve and tell you Merry Christmas. I love you "Joshie"
19. That drama queen movie with Lindsey Lohan is even worse the second time.
20. Denny's is the best breakfast in the world after a 4.5 hour plane ride! :)
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Still learning in 2004
Hi everyone, I am still learning as it's 2004. I am leaving tonight to go to Indiana for the holidays. The holidays are going to be interesting because we are penniless...so please pray for my family. Here are some more learning experiences:
1. Never underestimate the power of a good photo! Always take pictures at every available moment because those are what you hold on to in times of trouble!
2. Christmas is never about presents. Even if there is none under the tree, it still feels great to know you'll be eating your mamas cooking and playing board games with your crazy sisters!
3. A gift as simple as a homemade cd can make someone smile if they really love you!
4. Wind chimes are one of the prettiest sounds at a cemetary because they are the only thing that reminds you..you are alive.
5. Your real friends are the ones who will take you to the airport and pick you back up!
6. When the world walks out on you, the best friends will have a drink with you!
7. You can learn to do anything, it's just it is not always that fun.
8. Just when you think someone forgot about you, they didn't!
9. The biggest moments of your life can be captured by just closing your eyes and forcing yourself to make a memory. You can go there again anytime if you use this method.
10. The holidays are harder when you have lost your grandparents. They are the best people to keep Christmas happy!
11. There is nothing good about Christmas Eve being your death date.
12. Morphine patches are a new drug craze and they kill people!
13. I have learned all of the belts in Karate and quite a few other tidbits of knowledge about the art of Karate and Christopher and Joel are both doing it :)
14. The word Joel literally makes me smile from ear to ear...I don't usually notice..others do!
15. You should never let someone else determine your morality but do things because you believe them and find out why you believe them. (Thanks for that one Joel)
16. Journaling is one of the most therapeutic things anyone can do. It releases all of your pent up feelings and completely helps you to not have to disclose everything to actual people.
17. I like things that I thought I never would like. I have turned over a new leaf in being experimental.
18. There are few people who I want to be around a lot ...when I find those people, I should back off and give them space in order to understand their merit in my life.
19. The cell phone has a time and a place to be turned off. Some of those places are obvious like a funeral but others are not so obvious but essential like when spending time with a person you love a lot and don't get to hang with very often.
20. The best calls are never expected but come when you think the person has forgotten you are alive. HE didn't forget! :)
Well, that's today's learning experiences. I am getting ready to get on a plane and head to Southern Indiana for 11 days. Please pray for Safety in my travels and for a good holiday with my fam. Indiana now has 2 feet of snow so I am looking forward to some snow angels, snow men, snowballs, and cabin fever. I will take pictures and load them onto the web-site. I have new pictures today of Joel and Gavin. I will be loading those on in Indiana. Have a great Christmas Eve Eve and I will hopefully write tomorrow as well. Much love and ~Shalom~
1. Never underestimate the power of a good photo! Always take pictures at every available moment because those are what you hold on to in times of trouble!
2. Christmas is never about presents. Even if there is none under the tree, it still feels great to know you'll be eating your mamas cooking and playing board games with your crazy sisters!
3. A gift as simple as a homemade cd can make someone smile if they really love you!
4. Wind chimes are one of the prettiest sounds at a cemetary because they are the only thing that reminds you..you are alive.
5. Your real friends are the ones who will take you to the airport and pick you back up!
6. When the world walks out on you, the best friends will have a drink with you!
7. You can learn to do anything, it's just it is not always that fun.
8. Just when you think someone forgot about you, they didn't!
9. The biggest moments of your life can be captured by just closing your eyes and forcing yourself to make a memory. You can go there again anytime if you use this method.
10. The holidays are harder when you have lost your grandparents. They are the best people to keep Christmas happy!
11. There is nothing good about Christmas Eve being your death date.
12. Morphine patches are a new drug craze and they kill people!
13. I have learned all of the belts in Karate and quite a few other tidbits of knowledge about the art of Karate and Christopher and Joel are both doing it :)
14. The word Joel literally makes me smile from ear to ear...I don't usually notice..others do!
15. You should never let someone else determine your morality but do things because you believe them and find out why you believe them. (Thanks for that one Joel)
16. Journaling is one of the most therapeutic things anyone can do. It releases all of your pent up feelings and completely helps you to not have to disclose everything to actual people.
17. I like things that I thought I never would like. I have turned over a new leaf in being experimental.
18. There are few people who I want to be around a lot ...when I find those people, I should back off and give them space in order to understand their merit in my life.
19. The cell phone has a time and a place to be turned off. Some of those places are obvious like a funeral but others are not so obvious but essential like when spending time with a person you love a lot and don't get to hang with very often.
20. The best calls are never expected but come when you think the person has forgotten you are alive. HE didn't forget! :)
Well, that's today's learning experiences. I am getting ready to get on a plane and head to Southern Indiana for 11 days. Please pray for Safety in my travels and for a good holiday with my fam. Indiana now has 2 feet of snow so I am looking forward to some snow angels, snow men, snowballs, and cabin fever. I will take pictures and load them onto the web-site. I have new pictures today of Joel and Gavin. I will be loading those on in Indiana. Have a great Christmas Eve Eve and I will hopefully write tomorrow as well. Much love and ~Shalom~
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Learning experiences in 2004 Continued
Hi everyone. I hope that yesterday's learning experiences taught you something new as they did me. Here are the next 20 learning experiences I had in 2004:
1. Never chase after a friendship that isn't two sided. It will exhaust you and cause you to be resentful when you just need to take a hint.
2. Go running at least once a day. There is much release in hearing your heels pound the pavement or sand. There is a giant endorphin release that makes you feel higher than any drug could ever do.
3. Be happy when your friends find love. They deserve it and their love could make you stand back and remember what it was like.
4. Love is beautiful. Remember those times where just hearing the word "Love" would make chills go up and down your spine. It can happen again and it will!
5. Never be afraid to wear a cowboy hat in public, it could just be the laugh that you need in the pit of despair.
6. Keep your friends close because you just never know when you will need to fall directly into their arms and always be close enough to catch them.
7. If your tire blows on the freeway, there is always a hero out there sporting a full black outfit and the sweetest smile that ever graced the planet to change the tire like he works for Nascar. (Thank you again Sweety)
8. The most surprising people will help you when you lose your job. They will give you more work to do to make money, call you and find out if you are ok, and have you wrap presents to keep from getting depressed!
9. The word Christian is not about a title, but about a way of life. The people who you think of as great Christians are the ones who will leave you in the trenches. The ones who you are not sure about, are the ones who wear the sweetest fruit!
10. There is absolutely nothing better than taking time in the morning to make yourself a great breakfast and take a walk before your day begins.
11. Allergies go away after years and years...I can drink Orange Juice now and I do almost every day!
12. A V-Tech engine is impressive and I think I want one! (thanks for the explanation friend)
13. I am not the biggest fan of the new mustang. It looks weird to me but I am sure it will grow on me after a while.
14. There is something to be said for almost owning your car and not wanting to enter into another loan. God always has his reasons for keeping you grounded.
15. One of the most attractive statements ever made to me could be "Would you like to come and see my new shifter knob?" I am a car nut and I love when people speak car lingo!
16. The faster ...the better....nuff said FORBES!
17. Dishes are so much easier if you do them immediately. (kinda common knowledge but I am learning more and more every day)
18. Taking a cat to the vet is one of the most horrendous tasks of being a pet owner. I have decided not to have a cat when I "grow up."
19. The more stress that you allow on yourself, your brain will push other things out like things you are supposed to remember like birthdays, payments to be made, etc...
20. My hair is all colors, all lengths, and all textures and can be found in any room in the house and therefore I am suspected to be a vixen! :)
Ok, there are some silly learning experiences but learning experiences nonetheless. I love you all and I'll keep them coming! ~Shalom~
1. Never chase after a friendship that isn't two sided. It will exhaust you and cause you to be resentful when you just need to take a hint.
2. Go running at least once a day. There is much release in hearing your heels pound the pavement or sand. There is a giant endorphin release that makes you feel higher than any drug could ever do.
3. Be happy when your friends find love. They deserve it and their love could make you stand back and remember what it was like.
4. Love is beautiful. Remember those times where just hearing the word "Love" would make chills go up and down your spine. It can happen again and it will!
5. Never be afraid to wear a cowboy hat in public, it could just be the laugh that you need in the pit of despair.
6. Keep your friends close because you just never know when you will need to fall directly into their arms and always be close enough to catch them.
7. If your tire blows on the freeway, there is always a hero out there sporting a full black outfit and the sweetest smile that ever graced the planet to change the tire like he works for Nascar. (Thank you again Sweety)
8. The most surprising people will help you when you lose your job. They will give you more work to do to make money, call you and find out if you are ok, and have you wrap presents to keep from getting depressed!
9. The word Christian is not about a title, but about a way of life. The people who you think of as great Christians are the ones who will leave you in the trenches. The ones who you are not sure about, are the ones who wear the sweetest fruit!
10. There is absolutely nothing better than taking time in the morning to make yourself a great breakfast and take a walk before your day begins.
11. Allergies go away after years and years...I can drink Orange Juice now and I do almost every day!
12. A V-Tech engine is impressive and I think I want one! (thanks for the explanation friend)
13. I am not the biggest fan of the new mustang. It looks weird to me but I am sure it will grow on me after a while.
14. There is something to be said for almost owning your car and not wanting to enter into another loan. God always has his reasons for keeping you grounded.
15. One of the most attractive statements ever made to me could be "Would you like to come and see my new shifter knob?" I am a car nut and I love when people speak car lingo!
16. The faster ...the better....nuff said FORBES!
17. Dishes are so much easier if you do them immediately. (kinda common knowledge but I am learning more and more every day)
18. Taking a cat to the vet is one of the most horrendous tasks of being a pet owner. I have decided not to have a cat when I "grow up."
19. The more stress that you allow on yourself, your brain will push other things out like things you are supposed to remember like birthdays, payments to be made, etc...
20. My hair is all colors, all lengths, and all textures and can be found in any room in the house and therefore I am suspected to be a vixen! :)
Ok, there are some silly learning experiences but learning experiences nonetheless. I love you all and I'll keep them coming! ~Shalom~
Monday, December 20, 2004
learning experiences in 2004
Good afternoon everyone. I wrote earlier today and wrote about resolutions and how they would be coming soon. First of all I want to take the time to talk about what I have learned this year. I think 2004 was the biggest learning experience of my life thus far..therefore ...I need to dwell on it for a bit and think through some of the learning experiences I have had. I wanted to share this with you over the next few days and make this an ongoing thing...until 2005. I will be making my resolutions as the days progess and posting them before the new year.
Things I have learned in 2004:
1. Never drink 24 shots of anything ...ever! Drinking alcohol can be a very pleasant experience and the taste is great but doing anything to excess can make you do stupid things and say even more stupid things.
2. Take at least 2 weeks to make a very vital decision. Take the time to be alone and think things through. Never make a rash decision especially when you are dealing with someone elses heart.
3. Always be careful when leaving someone behind in your life. You never know what they may do in response to your leaving. Always make sure you know what they meant to you and develop a new type of relationship with them as you leave.
4. Never be afraid to spend money on someone you love. If it's their birthday go all out. Take them to a comedy show, buy them lots of presents, and eat chocolate covered strawberries with them as much as you can. Show them you love them by always surprising them. Never worry about $$$ when it comes to love!
5. Don't trust anyone that has gossiped to you before. Always confide in people who can be trusted and disclosing less is much wiser than disclosing more!
6. Enjoy the big moments in life like walking in to Pomp and Circumstance on your graduation day. Remember all of the sights, sounds, and smells of a great moment. Remember what it felt like to hold hands with a man you love and take a theatrical bow at your shared success.
7. On the biggest times in life, spend them with people who care about you. Spend them with the man who got you through college, the woman who gave you life, and the man who makes your heart skip a beat! Spend them with friends who bring you flowers even though they aren't your boyfriend and friends who hold your heart when it's breaking!
8. Being alone has it's own merit. Do things alone that you want to do but noone else agrees to. Read a great book, go alphabetically through your dvds, take a run, clean and organize, write in your journal, go to the park and eat lunch, cry about how much you love someone, grieve, do all of the things that come naturally alone. Don't ever regret or resent alone time but BASK in it!
9. Grieve things thoroughly. Don't ignore the fact that there are several stages to grief. There is more to be done and time to do it in. Take the time to cry about your losses but take the time to laugh at your memories!
10. Never assume just because you are toting a cart and walking 10 feet away from a vehicle that they can't plow you down! People are NOT watching..you must!
11. When you get plowed down by an SUV, use that as an excuse to slow down. Let the road rash heal, let the knee slowly regain it's posture, and let your dignity come back naturally!
12. When leaving a friend's house late at night, pay attention to the road. There is someone out there either drinking or more tired than you are who is perfectly willing to take your headlight out.
13. A car is a car. It can be fixed and it's worth way less than your life. Cavie forgives you!
14. Dating is a wonderful thing if you date the people that you don't feel you are settling for. If you feel you are settling in the slightest sense...YOU ARE! They won't disappoint. They will take all they can from you and leave you empty.
15. Never try to date someone else seriously when you love someone so much. Love someone with all you have and believe in it. Nothing else is as beautiful as love itself!
16. Virginity(in every sense) is crucial and spiritual. It is a beautiful thing and cannot be competed with.
17. There is no better feeling than looking at the face of your little sister when you surprise her by making her school play!
18. There is not much better than watching your little sister be a star at everything she does! (so proud of you my love)
19. The feeling of having a holiday with both of my parents can not EVER be described in words.
20. Confronting someone about something horrible they have done is not rewarding to you,...but rather the best thing you can do ..for them!
There are the first 20 things I have learned in 2004. I have a grip of things to add and I thought I would stop and let you all know that you had a great part in a lot of these learning experiences. It is wonderful to have you all in my life and you know which numbers you played a part in! There are more to come and I'll email with info so you can see these yourself! Have a beautiful day and take this opportunity to think of the things you have learned this year! ~Shalom~
Things I have learned in 2004:
1. Never drink 24 shots of anything ...ever! Drinking alcohol can be a very pleasant experience and the taste is great but doing anything to excess can make you do stupid things and say even more stupid things.
2. Take at least 2 weeks to make a very vital decision. Take the time to be alone and think things through. Never make a rash decision especially when you are dealing with someone elses heart.
3. Always be careful when leaving someone behind in your life. You never know what they may do in response to your leaving. Always make sure you know what they meant to you and develop a new type of relationship with them as you leave.
4. Never be afraid to spend money on someone you love. If it's their birthday go all out. Take them to a comedy show, buy them lots of presents, and eat chocolate covered strawberries with them as much as you can. Show them you love them by always surprising them. Never worry about $$$ when it comes to love!
5. Don't trust anyone that has gossiped to you before. Always confide in people who can be trusted and disclosing less is much wiser than disclosing more!
6. Enjoy the big moments in life like walking in to Pomp and Circumstance on your graduation day. Remember all of the sights, sounds, and smells of a great moment. Remember what it felt like to hold hands with a man you love and take a theatrical bow at your shared success.
7. On the biggest times in life, spend them with people who care about you. Spend them with the man who got you through college, the woman who gave you life, and the man who makes your heart skip a beat! Spend them with friends who bring you flowers even though they aren't your boyfriend and friends who hold your heart when it's breaking!
8. Being alone has it's own merit. Do things alone that you want to do but noone else agrees to. Read a great book, go alphabetically through your dvds, take a run, clean and organize, write in your journal, go to the park and eat lunch, cry about how much you love someone, grieve, do all of the things that come naturally alone. Don't ever regret or resent alone time but BASK in it!
9. Grieve things thoroughly. Don't ignore the fact that there are several stages to grief. There is more to be done and time to do it in. Take the time to cry about your losses but take the time to laugh at your memories!
10. Never assume just because you are toting a cart and walking 10 feet away from a vehicle that they can't plow you down! People are NOT watching..you must!
11. When you get plowed down by an SUV, use that as an excuse to slow down. Let the road rash heal, let the knee slowly regain it's posture, and let your dignity come back naturally!
12. When leaving a friend's house late at night, pay attention to the road. There is someone out there either drinking or more tired than you are who is perfectly willing to take your headlight out.
13. A car is a car. It can be fixed and it's worth way less than your life. Cavie forgives you!
14. Dating is a wonderful thing if you date the people that you don't feel you are settling for. If you feel you are settling in the slightest sense...YOU ARE! They won't disappoint. They will take all they can from you and leave you empty.
15. Never try to date someone else seriously when you love someone so much. Love someone with all you have and believe in it. Nothing else is as beautiful as love itself!
16. Virginity(in every sense) is crucial and spiritual. It is a beautiful thing and cannot be competed with.
17. There is no better feeling than looking at the face of your little sister when you surprise her by making her school play!
18. There is not much better than watching your little sister be a star at everything she does! (so proud of you my love)
19. The feeling of having a holiday with both of my parents can not EVER be described in words.
20. Confronting someone about something horrible they have done is not rewarding to you,...but rather the best thing you can do ..for them!
There are the first 20 things I have learned in 2004. I have a grip of things to add and I thought I would stop and let you all know that you had a great part in a lot of these learning experiences. It is wonderful to have you all in my life and you know which numbers you played a part in! There are more to come and I'll email with info so you can see these yourself! Have a beautiful day and take this opportunity to think of the things you have learned this year! ~Shalom~
Almost Christmas
Hey everyone. Life hasn't gotten any easier for me the last couple of days. On Friday I was laid off from my job due to a cutting of overhead expenses. This basically translates to "my boss had no heart!" It was only 8 days before Christmas. I have no idea what the Christian world is coming to. Also, on Saturday I was heading to Corona to see a friend and my back passenger side tire blew on the freeway. My hero, Joel Forbes, had to come and fix it for me and I owe him so much! I am just so lucky to have people who love me!
Overall I am pretty hopeless right now and could use all of the prayers that anyone has to offer. I have a weird life! I am so frustrated with all that is happening right now and today I am going to spend my jobless day making some New Years Resolutions. I will be posting them on here before the New Year because I encourage goals!
Well, I should get on with my meaningless life. Have a beautiful day and God bless you all ~Shalom~
Overall I am pretty hopeless right now and could use all of the prayers that anyone has to offer. I have a weird life! I am so frustrated with all that is happening right now and today I am going to spend my jobless day making some New Years Resolutions. I will be posting them on here before the New Year because I encourage goals!
Well, I should get on with my meaningless life. Have a beautiful day and God bless you all ~Shalom~
Sunday, December 12, 2004
It's been a while
Hey everyone. It has been a really long time since I have blogged on here because I have just recently come to realize that there is a magical world called myspace. I have gotten into that quite a bit lately and because of that I have ignored my poor little blog. I really enjoy getting to know new people and new internet programs. This is my blog though and I have been negligent to it.
Lately I have been going through some of the hardest things that life has to offer. I have no idea how people honestly do it. I think that life is so much about attitude. Lately all of the things that have happened to me might kill a normal person but God has been so good to me and handed me a serious sense of resilience. I have learned a great deal and I am pretty proud of the way I am handling all of these many serious situations.
In saying that, I wanted to tell everyone that I hope you all have a marvelous holiday season. My plans for the holidays are to get away to Indiana and enjoy my family to the fullest. I have no care in the world about presents or anything like that but I want to spend time with my sisters and my mama and my dad. I want to hang out with my best friends from back home Jarrid and Carrie. I want to drive the old country roads of Mitchell, Indiana and sing John Cougar Mellancamp songs. I want to breathe the fresh air that makes me be able to see my breath because it's so cold. I want to throw a snowball and scrape the windows because they are all frosted up.
I miss home and have not felt very secure in California for the last month or so. I have been having a really hard time and quite honestly it is something that only home can fix. I have no idea what God wants for me in the future right now and I am searching for any and all signs of security until I get there. Overall, I know that God loves me and has all kinds of plans for my life but I am just waiting to see what those are and get some of these scars healed before getting there.
Well, I should get to work on some things I have going but I will try to stay more up on this blog. Overall, please pray because I am going out of town for Tuesday and Wednesday and would appreciate prayers for safety. I am going up to Northern California for a few days. After that I leave on Dec. 23rd for Indiana. If I don't speak with you before then, Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah. I love you dearly and wish I could buy you all your greatest wish for Christmas. I can however offer you my friendship and say Happy Holidays. Have a great week everyone as we are starting out a new one. Make good New Years Resolutions! ~Shalom~
Lately I have been going through some of the hardest things that life has to offer. I have no idea how people honestly do it. I think that life is so much about attitude. Lately all of the things that have happened to me might kill a normal person but God has been so good to me and handed me a serious sense of resilience. I have learned a great deal and I am pretty proud of the way I am handling all of these many serious situations.
In saying that, I wanted to tell everyone that I hope you all have a marvelous holiday season. My plans for the holidays are to get away to Indiana and enjoy my family to the fullest. I have no care in the world about presents or anything like that but I want to spend time with my sisters and my mama and my dad. I want to hang out with my best friends from back home Jarrid and Carrie. I want to drive the old country roads of Mitchell, Indiana and sing John Cougar Mellancamp songs. I want to breathe the fresh air that makes me be able to see my breath because it's so cold. I want to throw a snowball and scrape the windows because they are all frosted up.
I miss home and have not felt very secure in California for the last month or so. I have been having a really hard time and quite honestly it is something that only home can fix. I have no idea what God wants for me in the future right now and I am searching for any and all signs of security until I get there. Overall, I know that God loves me and has all kinds of plans for my life but I am just waiting to see what those are and get some of these scars healed before getting there.
Well, I should get to work on some things I have going but I will try to stay more up on this blog. Overall, please pray because I am going out of town for Tuesday and Wednesday and would appreciate prayers for safety. I am going up to Northern California for a few days. After that I leave on Dec. 23rd for Indiana. If I don't speak with you before then, Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah. I love you dearly and wish I could buy you all your greatest wish for Christmas. I can however offer you my friendship and say Happy Holidays. Have a great week everyone as we are starting out a new one. Make good New Years Resolutions! ~Shalom~
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