Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The light at the end....

For a while in my life, I have been walking through a dark tunnel. It's been over the past couple of years of remaking myself and really trying to be someone I can be proud of entirely. I can't say yet that I am proud of everything I do but then again, who can? My life is starting to take more shape as I try to deal with some of the bigger boulders in my life. I did a post some time last year when I started a book on boundaries where I talked about my boulders in life. My boulders are those issues that are huge and I needed help carrying them until they are more manageable. Most likely I will always struggle with these boulders but they will be much easier for me to handle.

I have come to a place where my main boulders are my family, my weight, my finances, and my personal relationships. I have worked on each of these boulders extensively and there is much improvement but really they are taking more and more shape as the more recent days have passed. My family and I have really established kind of an understanding. I have boundaries that are in place that can't be moved. I know that my family never REALLY intended me harm but because of our past, the levels of boundaries have had to change. My weight has been a struggle for years and it is slowly being less and less of one each day. My finances is something I have just started to work with and feel very proud of the steps I have taken to be a financially responsible young woman. Personal relationships are obviously not something you can master in a day or even in a lifetime because people come in and out of your life but I am doing much better with females and dare I say...males.

The big news that I want to share on here even though most or all of you will know already...is that I was accepted into Graduate School on April 21st. I am so very excited about attending at Vanguard and starting my life as a Therapist. I spent some time last night deciding my schedule and clearing my day off with Richard and it looks like everything is a go. I am nervous about finances for it but God is good and always provides for my needs.

I am also enjoying the company of a certain male these days and that is going very well. I am appreciating him and learning about him. It's nothing serious or anything and I am going turtle slow as usual so life is good.

Well, I should get going and attend to my 4 billion tasks for the day. Have a great one and be blessed!


Thursday, April 20, 2006

Friday, April 14, 2006

Seeing the best in people.

So I am going to write about good qualities in people even when there seems to be some things askew as well. I know this guy, we'll call him "Big Bird" for the sake of keeping his identity secret. He is laughing right now because that is a great name for him! Anyway, he has done some questionable things in my life even to the point of hurting me but something keeps him right inside my heart. He is the sweetest, most genuine, adorable person I have ever known. I adore so many things about him that I thought I would write him a little LOVE letter today and make it public so he knew I was serious!

Here are things I love about "Big Bird"

1. He has the most adorable smile I have ever laid eyes on.

2. He has the sweetest touch that God could have given anyone.

3. He is generous

4. He is kind and compassionate

5. He is loving and sweet

6. He makes me laugh (go in there and give her a little Carne Asada)

7. He is very particular

8. He makes my heart melt when he calls me gorgeous or Mami (oh my, did that give him away?)

9. I like how he kisses me goodbye on the phone

10. I like how he cares about my whole life.

I could write a billion things I love about "Big Bird" but overall, I just like that for the most part, his heart is mine! Love ya sweety!


Thursday, April 13, 2006

Struggles, hardships, happiness, and growth

I haven't posted since April 7th for a number of reasons. On April 8th, it was 6 years since my grandpa died and I really used that day just to chill and kind of not talk to anyone. I miss him so much and every year that passes really only feels like minutes. The rest of the time since I last wrote was really hard because my family is going through something, I am struggling making ends meet, and people are running in and out of my life. What is going on? I need a repreive. I need to feel happy for more than a nanosecond. Please God, bring me some sanity and help my family!


Thursday, April 06, 2006

Baby Steps!

You always hear people say that the best way to accomplish a task or change in life is "Baby Steps." Well I have been giving that some thought. I was thinking about when my little sister, the love of my life, Britt started to walk. Hilliary (older sis) used to sit Britt on a chair and have her get up from the chair and take a few steps where Britt would collapse into whomever's arms were there to catch her. It was the cutest thing with her cute little diapered behind and big blue eyes. (She hates me right now LOL) So anyway, instead of sitting and being sad that my little Britt is 20 this year...I started to think about how that applies to life really!

So the first thing is that Britt had to have a firm foundation (the chair) to start with. I think this is the same with us as people. We have to establish a firm support system or a safe place to fall so to speak. I have done that in my life by surrounding myself with friends and mentors who can support me and come with me on life's journeys and offer a helping hand. This support system has to be people who are in agreement with your personal goals and life plan. It also has to be people who are healthy themselves and want that for you. It has to be people who have no jealousy in your sucesss but just want the very best for you. I have a great chair underneath me! :)

The next thing that I noticed is that Britt had to have a place to start (just getting out of the chair) This is the same in the real world too. You have to have a starting point. I will go ahead and speak about this in terms of my financial plan. You have to start by having a plan of what you want to do. For me it's paying off debts, making a budget, and starting a savings account. Britt just wanted to get off the chair to start and that is what these first steps are all about.

The next thing Britt did was take a few small steps on her tippy toes. (She walked like that for some time before she started running and being a holy terror) Well I compare this to taking a few metaphoric steps in your life and doing it safely. For example, in the financial world, meeting with a financial counselor, taking a class on budgeting, or perhaps seeking wise counsel from your support system.

The last thing Britt did was she fell and she would fall hard into the person's arms directly in front of her. Well, we all fall on the way to our goals. Some of us fall harder than others but nevertheless we all fall. My lesson here would be that we need to be able to fall into our Father's arms (Jesus) when we have fallen and have him help us get back on the chair and take a few more baby steps. I think we get too excited and want to WALK too fast and that is when we have to go back to the baby steps.

I hope you all enjoyed my little story about my Britt Butt today and decided to stop running and take some baby steps to change your life. I certainly am. Here is to a healthy new Erica!!!!