2008 on it's way here.

I noticed today that I haven't logged on here and wrote anything since October and that is horrible in my blogging life to not do it more frequently. A lot has happened since I last wrote including losing a few family members to a tragic car accident, Christmas just passed, and a million other things. Today I am moved to start blogging again just to chart my progress in life. We are looking 2008 square in the face and that means that I am going to be 28 this year and I have so many things I want to accomplish.

This year there are two main concerns on my mind. They are...weight and money. I don't necessarily mean just losing weight and making money ...I want to manage both. I want to start treating my body much better and start realizing that there is more than today in terms of money. I think that I am going to be learning a lot about health, investments, and things of that nature. There are so many changes that are going to occur in 2008 and there are many things I have to do to rise to the occasion.

I am going to work on things one week at a time and really build myself up in terms of habits and changes. This is going to be hard work but I can already see the main goals and how they will absolutely change my life. First, I wanted to write a few things that I want to work on in the new year. I don't want to call them resolutions because that is the bone I always break. However, I really do want to make some this year. Every year I reach a few.

Goals for 2008: (so far)

1. Lose at least 50 lbs.

2. Go to the gym at least 4 days a week

3. Take two trips somewhere

4. Finish one scrapbook

5. Save as much money as I possibly can

6. Find a new job that I love

7. Finish 2 more semesters of Graduate School with awesome grades

8. Find a way to invest money and act on it

9. Get Hemoglobin A1C checked and get a 7 at the most

10. Pass advance at school

11. Finish up my workshops at school

12. Turn 28 with style..in vegas

13. Keep organized

That's it for now but I am sure there are other things for me to think about in 2008

Most of all, I want to have fun, get educated, be successful, and be better on the other side.

Check in soon.

--e--

The Con Man

Today I am sitting at home going through things, doing homework, cleaning, and watching my dvr'd Dr. Phil's and I came across a Dr. Phil episode about a man who is a self-proclaimed "Con Man." He has conned people across various career areas like the Red Cross, the catholic church, and big corporate businesses. I was disgusted at this man's various issues but....I realized that in the real world I am not far from the "Con Man"

How many times do I say something doesn't bother me when it does? How many times do I do little white lies to get ahead in life? How many times do I skim off the top of my work or not quite do things to my best capability? How many times do I tell the story a little differently to make myself look favorable in the eyes of the audience? I am confronted by this today in so many ways that I can barely stand myself. I think that we are often a part of cons and don't even know it.

We con ourselves into believing that we don't have blame in a confrontation. We con ourselves into believing that we don't have "time" to spend with Jesus. We con ourselves into believing that we have the right "intentions" when we obviously don't.

Today, I am going to try to step up the honesty and be the real me, no matter how flawed.

--E--

A new school year and lots of passion

Hello everyone and happy Friday. It's been a very long time since I have written in my blog and I could blame a thousand things like work, boyfriend, school, reading, or laziness but I will be honest, it was just laziness. I haven't really been online as much lately due to some internet issues at the house and lots of reading to do with my new school year under way. We have been in school for 2 weeks and I am incredibly excited about this semester. I feel like I am going to learn so much about my career and even more about myself. I am in Premarital/Marital Therapy, Advanced Human Development, and Mind/Body/Spirit. I am very anxious to learn all that I can and get ready for my advance in the spring.

In other news, Anthony and I are heading out to Vegas for the weekend after work today. We both have work and then we are off to enjoy a weekend of down time and enjoyment. We are mainly going just to get away from our jobs and decompress a little bit. We are going to some Celebrity Impersonator show which will be fun and we are not huge gamblers but we do like the idea of staying in the Luxor. We are very excited about our weekend.

Also, Anthony is getting ready to go to Indiana for the first time with me in 2 weeks. Brittany, my little sis is turning 21 years old and we are throwing her a party at the bowling alley (Indiana style) and staying for 5 days. We are really excited for Anthony to meet my parents, my other sister, and see where I grew up.

Anthony is getting ready to be at his 6 month mark of working for AT&T and we are happy to see it working out. I am looking at 9 more months only with Chris and Richard and then I am off into another phase of life...hopefully wife, new worker, mother and eventually therapist!

Well, I must get off and clean my room, pack some clothes and do some homework. Have a great weekend everyone.

Addicted to sin, not a good place to be.

I read in my Bible today about being a slave to sin and I think in today's language it probably should read being addicted to sin. In the dictionary, addiction is defined as; "compulsion or overpowering urge to use a substance, regardless of potential or actual harm." In saying this, I am addicted to one of my sins so much so that I have to take it to God daily if I am going to stop it for a 24 hour period. How sad as I pray for Self Control God is just hoping I will ask for God Control. I know now that I have no power over this particular thing in my life. I need to recite out of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous like "I have no power over ____! It really saddens me to think I have NO control over it but it makes me happy that my God does.

Please agree in prayer with me about my addiction and I hope that you find the place of God Control.

--Erica--

Raindrops on Roses, Whiskers on Kittens

Do you all remember that song from "The sound of music" about favorite things? Well lately, I have been thinking about the things that make me Erica. Examples: a great cup of green tea, a blueberry scone, a great book, museums, art galleries, the back yard in a comfy chair on a breezy summer day, softball, skeeball, & Mario Party. Have you ever known someone who got into a relationship and you couldn't tell where she ended and the boy started? Well, now you have. For the last year I have been a girlfriend to quite possibly the most amazing man I have ever known and I have kind of lost myself in that. Don't get me wrong, it's been fun. I have smiled more than I ever have in my entire life and I have felt safe which is something I don't often feel. The problem is, I am starting to miss myself. I am starting to miss working out every day in the mornings before my day began, reading magazines cover to cover to learn something new and interesting, checking out dozens of books a month and burning through them and enjoying every sweet page turn. I love to read, write, play sports, work out, enjoy good food, coffee with friends, and getting to know others. I also enjoy the smell of my boyfriend when he splashes on his cologne and the way he looks in his toolbelt for work. It's a hard mix to be in love with a gorgeous man and miss the things that make you ...you.

When Anthony started dating me I was so hardcore about working out I was up to running 2 miles a day. Now I am lucky to get through .5 miles on the treadmill before getting off out of exhaustion. I used to get my nails done and get mystic tans because I took pride in them. Now I live in jogging pants and wife beaters and running shoes. Workout gear for a girl who never hits the gym. I just find that I can't really find myself. I want to sleep the days away just to avoid the things I am behind on. I need to take this weekend and truly catch up with myself. I need to get orgaized, see things, do things, take pictures, take a walk, take a bikeride, frequent the gym, stop for a scone and some green tea and mostly just love on me. I am not taking care of myself.

I want to note here that this is in no way Anthony's fault. It is mine for sure. I am 100% to blame for the lack of me and the over abundance of sloth and laziness and bliss that is my funk. Please join with me in remembering a few of your favorite things and doing them today.

My favorite things:

1. Green Tea at Starbucks
2. A pastry to go with my green tea
3. A walk in the park with my camera.
4. A great book on the lawn chair outside.
5. A great workout at the gym burning 500+ calories
6. Buying a new outfit and loving how it looks on me
7. Tanning and then wearing white to show it off (only mystic...anti skin cancer)
8. Going to target with a friend and browsing.
9. A great talk with a friend
10. A clean room
11. Organizing things
12. A romantic comedy
13. A live sporting event
14. Working for the joy of being good at something
15. Learning Psychology.

I got to get back to the roots! Keep me in your thoughts as I try to escape my funk. Love you all

--Erica--

Be a lady, wait for the flush.

Have you ever been in a public bathroom and because you don't want anyone to hear your unladylike noises, you wait for someone to flush in order to relieve yourself of any noise? I sure have. I was in Target yesterday, waiting patiently for the flush when I realized that God had a lesson for me to learn in this. He continued the lesson today through his word in Romans 2. The lesson I learned yesterday was that maybe we should treat our "good deeds" as those unladylike noises. Maybe we should only do them when there is a flush and noone knows it was us. So often in my life, I toot my own horn. (no pun intended but frickin hilarious) I make sure Anthony knows when I washed his shirt, drove him to work, paid his bills, ran to the store for him or whatever it is my lovely man needed done by his super woman. I never miss a chance to list the amazing tasks that I do for everyone and I certainly don't let anyone go without knowing that I adopted a little girl with world vision from Africa. How sad that I don't want anyone to hear that I am a human with biological needs but I sure don't mind being a big hypocrite and showing my backside as a Christian.

The other lesson God taught me today was in the other direction. How often have I told Anthony that he didn't pick up his clothes just to come back to the house and see pink underwear in the floor, which I know aren't his? How often have I told him to make sure and get up on time just to have my alarm go off 3 times before heaving my lazy giant butt out of the bed? How many lectures has he gotten on thanking me just to go hours without a thank you to the vacuuming of my car he didn't have to do? I am ashamed of my hypocrisy today. I have apologized to Anthony and I really hope that I am going to start seeing myself more realistically soon because I do NOT have it together! I suck!

Verse of the day:

But he is a Jew who is one inwardly and circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the spirit, not by the letter, and his praise is not from men but from God!

Romans 2:29.

(I stand corrected)

Wait for the flush people...and get that log out of your own eye first (my puns are killing me today and yes..I like bathroom humor)

Faith, you gotta have it.

In the 80's (a very interesting musical decade) George Michael wrote a song called Faith. It was about a girl who was mistreating him and he was trying to get the courage to step away from her and go on with his life and needed "faith" to do so. I took some of the words from it today because I have been reading about faith in the Bible and it applied.

Before this river
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
Oh baby I reconsider
My foolish notion
Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more

Yes I've gotta have faith...


This verse is clearly talking about a romantic relationship but I paralelled it with my relationship with sin. Sin is my boyfriend at times. I cling to it, go out with it, wear it, have pride in it and then hate being with it after it's all said and done. This verse reminded me of sin because boy does the river of sin become an ocean and it always throws my heart to the floor. And then as the verse progresses it talks about needing someone to hold him. Isn't that what our sin lives are all about. We lie to make ourselves feel or look better, we have sex to fill up a void in our hearts, we eat to cover up our pain or be held for just a moment, we accumulate wealth to make sure we feel safe, secure, and held. Every single time we choose to wait for something more though...we will find HIM. The something more is my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Jesus can fill those voids in our lives. He can make us feel fulfilled like George so wanted in his 80's hit song. This really wasn't to admit my love of George Michael but just to come to awareness of how sweet God's love is. It's amazing that all he asks from us is to have faith. In Romans 1:17 he says that a man (or woman) is righteous only through faith. There is nothing we can do to attain this righteousness but just trust him. I think that's amazing. In this world, to attain any comfort, peace, success, status etc...we have to work our butts off and then hope it holds up. Not in God's kingdom, we just need to abandon all of our reason and simply have FAITH.

Maybe George Michael got it right..at least once. The bathroom incident, I can't support though.

--Erica--

Heading into July fully strong.

Hey everyone, last weeks illness was nothing according to my doctor and it was just a little drainage of the sinuses. He didn't prescribe anything so that's good. I already feel entirely overmedicated. This weekend we went to see this movie at Metro Pointe that was probably the most disturbing movie I have seen since Saw III. It was "1408" with John Cusack. It was a horror/psychological thriller and it was very scary if you ask me. On Sunday, Anthony and I went up to Los Angeles to pick up a check from his Aunt LoLo's house and ended up spending the rest of our day on Hollywood Blvd. We went to the Roosevelt Hotel, which I had never been to and then to the Hollywood History Museum. The museum is housed at the old Max Factor building and to be honest, it wasn't half bad. I don't know if it was worth the $15 we paid in admission per ticket but it was pretty good. They had a whole room practically dedicated to Marilyn Monroe and since I am a huge fan, I loved it.

Other cool items in the museum were the ruby slippers from "Wizard of Oz," the prison set from "Silence of the Lambs," and the actual make up rooms that were used to prepare Lucille Ball, Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, Lana Turner, etc.. for movies. It was really interesting and they had a lot of interesting little tidbits for people interested in old Hollywood. I am more interested in old Hollywood than the new version of eating disorders that we call celebs. It was pretty fun.

Last night we picked up my favorite take out, The Old Spaghetti Factory and watched a classic "National Lampoon's Vacation." It was awesome and when I went to bed last night, I felt like my weekend was restful and eventful at the same time. This morning I woke up to a to-do list as long as me but with renewed strength knowing I would accomplish all of my goals today. Christopher starts Football camp today and he is continuing in summer school so I have the day open to myself to do the things I need to do. I am really working on being healthy diabetically speaking lately and my blood sugars are so much better and I can't wait to take my next blood test and see a vast improvement in my hemoglobin A1C and know that my overall health is benefiting from it.

In other news, on Saturday I attended a wedding for a person I really respect and like. I was actually the guest of someone else who was invited and I myself was not invited. However, I am really glad that I went to this wedding because it felt REAL. I don't know how to explain that but the love that was shared at this wedding was moving. It made me like weddings again and I was fantasizing about the day I will be Mrs. Lewis. After the wedding, Anthony, Heather, and myself all went to California Pizza Kitchen and had a lovely dinner together. Nothing like my two favorite California people and a wedding to make the day amazing.

Anyway, I should get started on the day and get things accomplished. Off to the bank, gym, grocery store and various other exciting locations. Have a lovely day!

--Erica--

Busy and sick, not a good combo

I have been absolutely crazily busy this week already with doctor appointments, dentist appointments, meetings, diabetic education, errands, and therapy appointments and on top of that I have something wrong with my throat. I woke up on Monday morning with a very sore throat and a splitting headache. I wasn't sure if I had just not been getting enough sleep or I really had something wrong. Yesterday (Tuesday) I woke up with the same feelings but no headache and a worse throat issue. I went to bed last night at 9:00 and woke up this morning with less of a throat issue but I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow in order to find out if it's anything serious. I think I might have strep throat or tonsilitis or less serious, a sinus infection that is draining into my throat.

That being said, I am a bit overwhelmed today. Today I started my new eating plan and diabetic plan after talking with the educator yesterday. I am going to be going on a plan specifically for me with them but overall I am just focusing on getting healthy and in good control. They told me that they also have a program to prepare you for pregnancy so I am going to be starting that in a year in order to start planning for my baby! :) I am so excited about being a mom sometime in the next few years.

Everything is going pretty well outside of being under the weather and extremely busy but I'll get through that and we'll move on to a new week. Thanks for stopping in and I'll catch up soon.

--Erica--

One year of happiness, how do i do it?

So today has been one year since I started being Anthony's girlfriend and started growing, learning, and being completely and utterly loved. This relationship has been the healthiest thing I have ever done and my happiness has been so large that I haven't known how to handle it. Now, that isn't to say that Anthony and I never disagree or fight..it's to say that I am so fiercely loved that I feel on top of the world. I mess up a lot and so does Anthony but we are finally accepted for those mess ups and found someone worthy of working on them with. We recently started premarital counseling and although we aren't engaged, it's so much fun to plan for our future and think about how things in our life are going to be when we are husband and wife. More importantly it's fun to live today with this man. It's fun to get hugs from him TODAY, it's fun to get kisses from him TODAY, it's fun to have conversations with him TODAY, and it's fun to plan things with him TODAY! I am looking to the here and now and realizing how great I have it to have someone so wonderful in my life and to have them here TODAY! :)

I have so much to do today in preparation for school to start back up in august, my sisters to visit, work for today, summer school for Christopher, appointments, doctor visits and the like as well as I am battling a bit of a sinus infection so my life is a bit hectic today. I started on my fitness plan today and I am very excited to meet my goals and know that I am doing the right thing for myself. Only one year until I am married lady...hopefully...and I want to do it at my healthiest!

Here's to a lovely 1 year anniversary to me and a gorgeous day to you!

--Erica--

Refocusing the fights

Have you ever bickered with the ones you love incessantly and wondered what that was about just to find out you were really the cause? I am one of those people that usually can admit I am wrong once I am shown and then gradually accept it on my own after analyzing it to death. Anthony and I were bickering quite a bit for a while and I don't mean about anything serious, just little stuff. It was getting very annoying and I kept wondering why it was happening. I finally looked into myself and realized I was causing most if not all of it. He never said that and still takes his 50% of the blame but I know who it was no matter how much he tries to console me. What I was doing was kind of pushing his buttons a lot of the time and being naggy. That being said, I wasn't doing it consciously nor on purpose. I love that man to death but I was just working my old habits. They sure do die hard don't they. I am having to re-evaluate who I am and what kinds of things I really want to happen in my relationship. It's a hard place to be. Realizing that you are the cause of something that annoys you to death is humbling but at least I had the power to change it.

It's been about 2 weeks of knowing this and changing myself and get this, no arguments..not even one. That is pretty clear to me. I hate being a nag but I was a nag for 6 years of another relationship and have grown up with my own whole family of nags so I came by it honestly. Now it's my job to stop it and just be happy where we are and realize that people have different personalities, neatness factors, hobbies, interests, and desires in life. I love this man and I am willing to meet him half way instead of always getting my way in the relationship.

Things have been going pretty well this weekend. On Friday I really didn't do much but play video games with Anthony and head to bed early because I am beat from a week of getting up early and going to bed late due to work. On Saturday I went out with a friend to Target and got some lunch at one of my favorite spots, Boudin. They have this fantastic sour dough San Fransisco bread and it's to die for. I had a Turkey and Cranberry on Sourdough and one of their phenomenal lemon squares. I then headed out to pick up Anthony from work and we had dinner together and talked about some exciting news...my Birthday!!!!

That's right, in less than 2 months I will be 27 years old and celebrating this year's Ericapalooza. My gift from Anthony is that my lovely sisters; Hilliary and Brittany are coming out to visit California for 6 days. They are going to be attending my birthday party, going to Hollywood, Vegas, and Disneyland with me, and being able to see my life out here. Britt has been here before but she is ready for another visit. Anthony is sparing no expense for the sisters to have a good time togehter and really enjoy the time we have. He is an amazing man and I am so lucky to have him.

In other news, in my quest to change habits and do things I really want to do in life, I am heading to the Getty Museum next weekend. I am going by myself on Sunday I think to see all of the awesome exhibits and check something off my WANT TO DO list. This week starts the trek to fitness also because tomorrow is Anthony and my 1 year anniversary which means presumably only about a year until we are getting married. This means I need to get in dress shape and be serious about fitness so that we can start our family safely and healthfully. Tomorrow I will be working on changing eating habits, exercise habits, and well-being tasks. On Tuesday I will be attending a diabetic education meeting which is awesome because it will give me the opportunity to work on this goal in the realm of my disease.

Today's plans are to go to premarital counseling which has been going very well and we are excited about it. We are also probably going to catch a movie because it's Anthony's day off and he really enjoys cinematic enjoyment. I am not such a movie buff but I have a couple of days off a week to enjoy my own interests. We will probably do something like play a game or go out to do something as well. We try to live up our 24 hours together when he works so much right now. We are praising God for the work though because it allows my sisters to visit, us to go to Indiana in Sept, and us to plan for our future.

Well here are tomorrow's goals so that I can try to stay on track in some way. Only 5 of them so it's doable. Have a lovely new week.

Goals for Monday:

1. No fast food
2. At least 30 minutes of Cardio/30 minutes of weight training
3. Get through my major to do list for the day.
4. Therapy
5. Clean up my room and get it organized.

Out of the loop.

It's been over a month since I have written in my blog and I really need to update for those of you who frequent it and stay tuned to my life through it. Lately I have been very busy but not with my own projects. Anthony has been working 16-18 hour days so I have been helping out by doing his laundry, driving him places, and being available for pick up so it's been crazy. My job has been a bit uneventful because it's summer for school and Chris doesn't go to summer school until next Monday. Also, my mind has been consumed with a lot of things like premarital counseling, preparing for my next semester, and my health. My health has been going pretty well on the new medications I have been put on and I am now seeing a new endocrinologist. I am going next week to attend diabetic education and learn how to properly care for myself.

Another project that has been taking some of my time is the "Step Out to Fight for Diabetes" 5K walk I am participating in. I have developed a team and we are walking in November for the prevention and cure of diabetes. I am really excited and have set a goal of $1,000 for our team to fundraise and help with the research and lifestyles of diabetics everywhere. Of course, this personally affects me. It is also a chance for me to use exercise to do something good for my world.

Lately I have been thinking about things that I really desire to do in life and things that I really want to change about myself on the way through. I have been thinking about how quickly life goes by and also that there is continual loss of quality of life just by not making yourself better each day. Mediocrity is such an ugly thing to me. I have decided to start out with 5 things I really want to do in life and 5 things about me that I would like to improve upon or change. These things will be continuing through the blog and I will keep up on updates pertaining to my progress.

The things I desire to do are going to range from hobbies I want to try, places I want to visit, activities I want to attend, fears I want to confront, things I want to learn, and lessons I want to take. The things I want to improve/change are going to be personal characteristics of myself, projects I don't keep up, relationships that need repaired, qualities that need progressed, and simply put; sins that need abolished. I really believe that God has a plan for this project and I will listen to his voice through it as well.

Here are the first 5 things in each category and some comments:

Things I desire to do:

1. Completely see The Getty Museum.
2. Experience a day of wine tasting.
3. Become an avid bike rider with my beach cruiser and mountain biking.
4. Buy and own a Mustang that I really love.
5. Go to Mac and have them teach me how to apply makeup and buy a complete supply.

Things I want to work on/improve/change:

1. Completely take fast food out of my diet.
2. Make Exercise a daily activity and a priority like sleeping.
3. Make Reading my Bible something that is not negotiable on a daily basis.
4. Keep Monthly spending records to find out where money goes.
5. Pay off all debts and keep current bills up.

These are all things that will take time, money, effort, and motivation but I am going to just work on these 5 for as long as they take. These things are so important to me that they will be worth the work and wait. I am encouraged that if I focus intently and become someone honest about my emotions through it and passionate about changing, these things will occur and at a timely rate.

Next Monday Anthony and I will be together for 1 year and we are also thinking of making that our wedding date next year so begins my plan to get fit and take care of my body better through good nutrition and good exercise. I have joined "The Biggest Loser Club" where I can talk to people who are also trying to lose weight and keep track of my progress. I have also scheduled diabetic education, as I mentioned before, which will help me have a nutrition plan that works with my disease and medications. I already have a gym membership, it's just putting it into action that is the problem. I am very focused right now and I know that I will feel better and be better because of these changes.

Well, I will be checking in more often as I am making blogging and journaling something required of my fitness plan in order to process my thoughts, emotions, and actions. Have a lovely Thursday.

-- Erica --

I'm forgiven where I fell.

I am just thinking today of how great God's love is for me that he forgives me in the exact spot that I fell. Lately I have been really working through some issues in my life that I want God to help me resolve. Some of these are my mouth, my weight problem, my sensitivity level, and my complaining spirit. I want to develop an attitude of gratitude but so far I am just really trying to stop the grumbling. I am always so put out with my life even though I live in the richest county in the nation and have a lot of modern conveniences and always have everything I need for life. I am such a spoiled brat sometimes.

I was just reading this article in O magazine about a lady named Christine McFadden from Merced California. She is a vetrinarian and her ex husband came into her house on March 26, 2002 and shot all 4 of her children, one in which they shared. I was appalled at this story and how Satan can get into people's minds and distort their thinking as well as the pervasive problem of Mental Illness. This man was clearly ill and really made a horrible decision. After shooting all 4 children, he turned the gun onto himself and comitted suicide. I thought this was a horrible story and my attitude of gratitude was on my mind. I am so lucky to have all of my family members well and good, great friends who are supportive, and a beautiful boyfriend who loves me so much. This woman can still find peace in this world and that alone is amazing.

Today my goals are huge so I can't stay on long but I would appreciate prayers for me to work on things that God wants me to clean up. Also, please pray for a friend of mine (unmentionable) who is going through a lot in her family and needs wisdom. Thanks everyone and have a great day!

--Erica--

It's May Already!

I can't believe it's already May. In just one year I will most likely be married to Anthony and that is big news for me. My summer is already going great as I did a deep cleaning of my room, started a scrapbook for my sister Hilliary, and have set up appointments with a new doctor and a podiatrist. I have a few friends getting married this summer so I have wedding gifts to buy and I think I am going to kick my scrapbooking into full swing this summer so I will be going to Tall Mouse (a craft store in Mission Viejo) quite often. Anthony and I went there this past weekend and it was amazing how much they had for scrapbooking.

On Tuesday of this week Anthony and I went to our home away from home, Disneyland. We were bummed because I didn't get off work until 6 meaning we got there at 7:00, in the park by 7:15 and it closed early at 8. We only got to ride pirates of the caribbean but if you know me, that is enough. I just love going there. We watched a bit of the parade as well and that is always entertaining to me no matter how many times I have seen it. This weekend we are heading out to look at some more apartments and we are going up to Los Angeles to see Anthony's aunt as well as going to Universal Studios Hollywood. It should be a fun weekend.

The newest plans for me today are to really work on one plan for the wedding and talk to Anthony about it tonight. I would like to continue working on it through the summer while I have time so that when we are officially ENGAGED, I can just put everything into action with my attendants. My girls are great and I am sure they will be more than happy to help me! I am much more concerned with preparing for the marriage than preparing for the wedding. I think sometimes people put too much into the ceremony and forget to put anything into the relationship.

Well, I should get to my day's tasks and start to think about what's next. I will be blogging much more through the summer so keep up on it. Have a great weekend!

--Erica--

The Aventine, our quest for a home.

Good Monday to you all. This weekend was spent relaxing, studying, and apartment hunting. Anthony and I headed down to the Aliso Viejo/Mission Viejo area and started looking at places that we would like to live. We found a place called the Aventine where we took a tour and spoke with our more than friendly host, Ryan. We had a great time and we were in love with the two bedroom/two bathroom apartment we looked at. We are obviously praying diligently about this and not making a decision just yet. We won't even be applying until January 2008 so it makes sense to take our time and really research and feel God's leading on it. We know he will lead us to the right place.

We also were able to spend some quality time at home just relaxing and watching dvds this weekend. We watched the first 6 episodes of the Simpsons and laughed a little, a few CSI's and really just kicked back. I needed that after all of my finals and having one to take today. I take my last final of the year today at noon. It's in statistics and then I will be ready for the summer. This summer is going to include cleaning, organizing, planning a wedding, working out, breaking bad habits, reading for the next semester, praying, bonding, visiting family and friends, and relaxing by the pool. I am going to get Anthony and I memberships to the waterpark and we are going to visit Disneyland as much as possible with our annual passes. We are going to take massive amounts of photos, save tons of money for our future, and be creative with our time.

Anthony is doing really well at his new job and has just started his second week of training out of 3 weeks. He passed his CPR training and this week is onto wiring and putting things into people's houses. Today he is attending a big conference for all of the new workers at at&t in order to learn their new products. He is at the Anaheim stadium today doing all of that. He is really in high spirits about making good money and doing something he loves. We are excited about all that is new in our lives.

I am trying to think of all of the things I intend to work on this summer and it excites me to think about reading, hobbies, projects, outings, day trips, and wedding planning. I am stoked for all the summer brings. I still have to work but to me lately, that is nothing compared to Grad School, studying, and homework. Anthony and I both will be kicking our fitness plan into high gear and working on our nutritional goals as well. In April we both made a nutritional goal each. Mine was not having any fast food and his was no soda. We both achieved our goals and now are moving on to our May goals. We haven't decided those yet but we are sure they will be affective. I don't miss fast food and Anthony says he doesn't miss soda so we are doing a good job.

Fitness is going to be a big goal for both of us this summer and throughout this year as we prepare for our wedding and also for the next year in preparing for having our first baby. We are excited about all that the new years are going to bring and are saturating everything in prayer. We would appreciate your prayers as well. Have a wonderful day and God bless you all!

-Erica--

Get Your Smile On!

I was reading the side of a Lays potato chip bag and they had the slogan "Get your Smile on" on the bag. I thought to myself how hilarious it is that we are in a world today where they are trying to sell potato chips using ebonics. They are taking this multiculturism a bit far huh? That was beside the point of what I wanted to discuss today. I literally wanted to talk about indeed getting your smile on..regardless!

In the Bible, joy is spoken of several times and we are called to live a life of joy in the knowledge of what Jesus did on the cross for us. I diligently try to live that life of joy. Sometimes life takes a toll on me delivering a cold, finals, and a personal trial in the same week and I am horribly challenged in my joy! I seek God daily to find my joy and my strength in Him and he always delivers. He sometimes does it through the peace that passes my understanding in prayer, a phone call from a loved one just to chat, an email from a dear friend who is praying on my behalf (thanks Jay), or an encouraging scripture.

For a while, I have really wanted to work more on memorization of scripture not so I look good in sunday school but because they are tools in my personal walk with the Lord against Satan and his schemes. I have powerful weapons in battle when I know my word. Today, I am using the amplified Bible as my source and this is my new scripture verse:

Therefore my heart is glad and my glory [my inner self] rejoices; my body too shall rest and confidently dwell in safety. Psalm 16: 9

This verse is so completely strong for me right now because my inner self is what I study on a daily basis in Psychology. My heart being glad is what I really want to be able to say day in and day out about the Lord and my life. He is so good to me. I love the part in this verse where it says "my body too shall rest" because lately I have seen a physical demonstration of what my spirit goes through. If I am in a dry land, my body feels tired and lethargic. If I am in a stressed state, my body reacts by finding the first virus it can get. If I am happy and joyful, my body feels energetic and healthy. It is a direct correlation.

Another great part of this verse is where it says "and confidently dwell in safety." I first wanted to look up what safety meant so that I knew what to think about this part of the verse. Safety is defined (by the Princeton Review) as the condition of being protected against failure, damage, error, accidents, or harm. This makes me feel 100% better about my life to know that God is protecting against failure ...my biggest fear. When I find joy and really dwell in it; failure, damage, error, accidents, and harm can't get to me! I find this comforting and true in every way.

It is when I truly embrace Joy that all of those things don't seem to happen or get to me. I think God has a promise for us, if we rest in him, there we WILL REST! :)

I am going to my quiet place where I can be protected. I am so loved.

--Erica--

The Pirates of the Carribbean and Jesus

I know the title of today's blog may sound strange but I promise it will make sense by the end. Anthony and I have just recently purchased annual passes to Disneyland. We are extremely excited as we saved for them and they are so we can have dates even when we are saving so radically for our wedding and future. Anyway, we are enjoying our passes and have already got our money's worth. In saying that, we have favorite features and they are different but we both love them. His is Astro Blasters and mine is Pirates of the Caribbean. They are both extra fun and entertaining but I have just recently realized how I relate Pirates to my quiet time with the Lord.

Let's imagine Disneyland is the world. It's chaotic, loud, exciting, demanding, expensive, and there are rude people everywhere. Everywhere you turn there is another gadget or toy that you just have to have. There are children screaming, crying, laughing, running everywhere. There are adults with happy faces, grumpy faces, angry faces, sad faces and the like. There are couples clinging to each other in the early stages of love. There are pictures being snapped at every kodak photo op and there are lines upon lines of waiting to get you to the next big attraction.

Isn't that just like life? It's all those things. There are always things around you that other people have that look so enticing. There are always different types of people around to make life easier, harder, or different for you. There are always opportunities to wait on God for the next thing in your life that is supposed to be happening. Lately I have been in a perpetual Disneyland Line waiting for God to do things toward marriage/career/children, etc...

So now let's talk about Pirates of the Caribbean. If you haven't been to Disneyland, it's really fantastic and here is the run down. You load onto this boat with approximately 11-17 other people. They have rows and you are given a row with whomever you are with. It starts with a relaxing row down a stream of darkness when all of the sudden you are plunged down quickly and then plunged yet again. After these plunges, you then are in a relaxing row again and you see all kinds of different scenes. You see scenes of pleading and begging for life, you see fear and trepidation, battle and warfare, and laughter and rejoicing. There are also rooms full of treasure and enjoying the plunder. It ends with a climb up back into daylight where you are deposited back at the dock and are made to go through the LINE yet again if you want to ride again.

I relate this to my quiet time with Jesus. I know, you are not quite following but I promise I am getting there. When I enter God's presence I experience a quiet peace of a few seconds where I finally feel cool and release from the days heat and pressures. Then I get plunged into his presence once or twice where I am made to see my shortcomings and feel almost unworthy or shaken up to be in his presence. After that we are rolling slowly again but I have to look around constantly because he is showing me tons of areas. I row into the area where there is pleading and begging and I think of myself and my desires and weaknesses. I plead before God for forgiveness for not acknowledging him in my life and not trusting him with all of my desires. I then see fear and trepidation when I express to Him how afraid I am to continue trusting him and how afraid I am for all of the new things he is doing in my life. I then confront the battle and warfare where Satan is attacking me throughout my day and where he is bringing hard cirumstances into my life and I ask God to help me get through. More than anything there are moments of laugher and joy where I thank God intensely for the awesome things he has done in my life and how he has always been with me and saved me and forgiven me. This is my treasure and my plunder.

The "ride" with God ends by me climbing back into my day and being ready for more time with him but realizing I have to get back into the line and do life just to get back to his presence.

This ride is my favorite and now I know why, I compare it to one of the most wonderful portions of my day. The time with my Lord and Savior. I am in love with him and next time I go on Pirates (next tuesday) ...I will realize all those seasons of prayer and rejoice that there is a tangible place I can be reminded.

I love you Lord.

--Erica--

First day jitters, finals, and cleaning

Hello everyone and happy friday. Anthony got up bright and early this morning at 5:30 am and went to his new job. Today is orientation where he gets a good look at his job site, bosses, etc... He was really excited this morning and apparently had NO problems getting up which if you know Anthony is shocking! He seemed in really high spirits and is really happy to be making the money he is worth and doing something interesting.

I am in the midst of final preparation so I will be MIA for a few weeks. My last day of any type of school project is April 30th. I am stoked to be done with my first year of Graduate school and to have done very well. My grades are good and my learning was remarkable. A psych program teaches you things about yourself you sometimes don't want to know. Finals are looking promising as I feel like I have plenty of time to prepare and really understand the material. I'll write again when I've finished and see if that's true.

Apartment hunting has started and we have chosen a handful of places to go and see and rate according to what we think. We are going to have to be at their mercy to a certain extent too since we are on a limited budget and my credit isn't perfect. The places we have looked at in Laguna Niguel are actually cheaper than a lot of other locations in Orange County. We are excited about our first place together after the wedding! :)

As for the wedding, no engagement just yet but still thinking about May 2008 for the nuptials. We are looking at locations right now and thinking about our budget. I am also looking around for a summer part time job to take on to make money for the wedding. I know that I will be funding it 100% Alone (with me and Anthony that is) so we are going to have to sacrifice a bit and really stick to a budget.

Today, I have a date by myself and I plan to organize my room up too. I have grocery shopping to do but that only takes me an hour or so. Now, it's on to room organization, laundry, and paperwork. Later in the afternoon I am going to take myself out. I will write more about my date later. Last weeks date was a full manicure with Acrylics. I love having my nails done. Little things for me always make me have a better week and not feel alienated while I save 15% of my paychecks!

I hope you are all doing well and updates later!

--Erica--

A new job, apartment hunting, and planning our lives away!

Well I have some great news that actually came about a week ago. Anthony has been praying for a new job and really putting his trust in God while working a job that was pretty thankless and not as great of pay as he needed. He was really faithful to God by doing his best and praising God for what he had..so God blessed him with a new job. Anthony was hired at AT&T for a premises technician job which triples his income at this point. It provides full benefits and multiple little discount benefits that we are going to enjoy. It's located in Laguna Niguel so we are both excited that we will be in this area. He has a sign up tomorrow morning for all of his tax paperwork and things and then his first day is Friday April 20th. We are really excited about this new gig and really praying that God moves through it. He has to go through a 3 week training process that is pass/fail so please keep him in your prayers for a good turnout!

In other news, our search begins for an apartment. I only have one year left on my contract with Christopher so I will be expected to move out once the position ends. Anthony and I are most likely going to be married at that point so we have decided to start looking at apartments in hopes of having some options when the time comes. We are looking in orange county since his work and my school are both here. I am also going to be researching jobs in this area as early as February of next year. I am really excited about the next steps in my life of marriage, family, new job, new home, new location, etc... God is really working in my life for good!

Please keep Anthony and myself in your prayers are we march forward in our lives. We are optimistic but also very nervous and anxious with new things coming! Thanks!

--Erica--

9 months, habit breaking, goals, pride, and the like.

So as of right now, being that it is after midnight, Anthony and I have shared 9 magical months together. I am a little shocked at how long it's been because it really still feels very new to me. I think it's because it is so different than any other relationship in my life that I have ever had. In the past, I have been in relationships with people, romantic or not, that have not came close to meeting my needs. This relationship meets my needs and also helps me meet another's needs. Anthony and I really compliment each other in many ways. We really add happiness and fulfillment to each other and I pray for each and every day I get with him. I am happy for each moment. My new goal is to make sure I realize that and make him realize it daily.

Some old habits are having to make their way out of my life. In the last several years I have gone through some really rough growth patches but have always come out better on the other side. This is another one of those times. I am ready to go into some growth and it WILL be difficult. There is a list of things I really want to work on and they are massive to my growth, passions, and dreams. Here is a brief list of what I want to work on in this "season" of my life.

1. Attending church regularly
2. Being a financial ADULT
3. Being a person who cares about herself in every facet.
4. Using less manipulation in my life.
5. Being able to tolerate Anxiety.
6. Being able to communicate in conflict better.
7. Being grateful for all things.
8. Not complaining so much.
9. Being a much better friend.
10. Cutting out bad habits more and more each day.

Today, Anthony and I had a lovely day. We went up to Los Angeles to Westwood Memorial Park where Marilyn Monroe is buried. There are several other stars buried there so we walked around for a bit and just enjoyed a beautiful day in a peaceful place. After that we went to a little hot dog place and tried a new hot dog. We are both a bit passionate about a good dog! We had a great day and took a few pictures!

Life is really good but also a bit hard looking at yourself and working on growth. I hope you are all doing wonderfully. Have a great week!

--Erica--

Oswald Chambers is onto something

So I was reading tonight and I came across this quote. Oswald Chambers wrote, "It is the process, not the end, which is glorifying to God. His purpose is for this minute, not for something in the future." This is something I really needed to read tonight. I am going through a lot of future worry. I know that probably doesn't shock anyone since that is one of my personal struggles...worry. I am learning more and more to really live in the now. I have learned a bit about that in therapy and have come to the conclusion that it really is a better option if I could just get myself to do it. I have a lot of areas that I worry about in my life. Some of these are my spirituality, my health, my career, my job, my finances, my relationships, my future with Anthony, having or not having children, etc...

All of my life I have always just gotten so caught up in the worries that they paralyzed me. Sometimes I would worry so much about an assignment in school that it would lead me to put it off and put it off until it was almost due and then spend hours and hours trying to get it finished at the last minute. I would worry so much about my health I would completely avoid the doctor and in turn have to be rushed to emergency because I wasn't caring properly for myself. I would worry so much about my career I was petrified to even apply for Graduate School and in turn was VERY shocked when I got in, I couldn't even be happy for myself. I have worried so much that I handicap any efforts of getting things done or being good to myself.

With this all being true, I have decided that I need to think differently in order to live differently. I need to be in the now. A great example is in my graduate school endeavors. Since I know about my patterns to become scared and put things off, I have decided to commit to 2 hours of school related work each day. I have also dedicated 1 hour to my health per day. I have also dedicated portions of time to other things so I can live in the NOW and not in the next week.

I just wanted to share that today and hopefully I get some more chances to write. I like blogging, don't get to do it very much with 12-16 hour work days and grad school and an amazing boyfriend. Almost 9 months folks! I love that boy!

--Erica--

Fitness is new to me

I have really thought that before I had learned how to take care of my body. I had eaten better, exercised, and even started caring about the burden I call diabetes. Now, I see more clearly. I have been seeing a personal trainer now and we had a session on Friday where he looked at my body for imbalances and we are working on a meal plan and workout plan for me. I am excited to see the results of facing my fears and allowing myself to be a bit embarassed to try to become healthy. I am excited about the idea of finally losing the weight I have wanted to lose for years. This weight loss endeavor has really been in action since I was 21. I am now 26 and somewhat lighter but not there yet. I knew it was time to get some help and accountability.

Anthony and I are doing great. We are in this weight loss thing together as he hits the gym about 6/7 days a week too. He is going to start seeing a personal trainer pretty soon as well. I have 10 free sessions and then we are going to pay for my trainer. He has 5 free sessions and that will probably be all he needs. Our relationship is going beautifully as we just celebrated our first Valentine's Day together. He got me a 1 carat Diamond necklace and it's gorgeous. I couldn't be more in love with it but I grow more in love with him every single day! I think this is it, he might just be the one.

Well I am going to start on a paper and finish watching Donnie Darko (weird movie) but I love you all and thanks for reading today!

--Erica--

Updates on EricaVille!

Hey everyone. I am not able to post as much as I would like with job, grad school, working out, eating right, boyfriend, and potential planning for the future. Today I write with good news. Anthony and I invested on Wednesday in 3 year memberships to 24 hour fitness. Yes, we are now members of the gym! I went on Wednesday night and tonight and I am really enjoying the challenge of keeping my body happy! We have been reducing our calories since monday and we are trying to keep each other accountable. We have rewards set up for certain landmarks and small rewards each week for meeting our weekly health goals. We keep food journals with each other to make sure we are being honest and forthright about our intake. We are a health team right now! I am proud of us! I feel stronger when he is with me. Isn't love supposed to be like that?

Anyway, I have a huge project for school so I can't stay on tonight but I thought I would update what is happening in our lives right now. Thanks for stopping in!

--Erica--

Universal Studios and other news

So Wednesday is date day and we switch back and forth on deciding what to do with our day. This week was Anthony's turn so he decided that he wanted to introduce me to the world of Universal Studios Hollywood. I have lived out here in California for almost 5 years now and I hadn't been to Universal. We went in the morning and stayed until about 3 and had a great time together. We took some pictures for memories and really enjoyed our time together. In other news, we have a Saturday date day too and we choose that event together so we are thinking of maybe seeing Charlotte's Web and then going to Universal Studios because we bought year passes.

Anthony has to be the coolest boyfriend ever created. He likes to do "girl" things like watching great movies and making memories and creating things together. He is absolutely the most wonderful man I have ever known. We are going into February as our 8th month together and it is literally the happiest 8 months of my life. I have fought myself on it because everytime I am happy I always feel like something will go wrong. I have decided that no matter how hard I have to fight, I am going to reprogram myself to think differently. I am going to think what is true. I am a great person with great characteristics. Why wouldn't a great man want to spend his life with me?

I will keep the blog updated as to what goes on for date day! We have a great time together and I am having fun making adventures with him daily! :)

I love my boy!

--Erica--

Erica's updates.

Hello everyone. Today is my class day and I am seeing all too well the patterns of ericaisms happening daily. I am already behind in my reading due to not being able to purchase the books early enough. I am not feeling entirely ready for the day including my sleep level. I am not feeling well health wise because I haven't been eating nor exercising. I just feel like a lump. I am going to class tonight even though everything in me says skip it and catch up. I know skipping it to catch up will only lead to more behindness! (not even a word, I don't think)

I have been going through some emotional crap the last week or so and I am finally out of my funk and ready to move on and enjoy my life. The only problem is I still have to work and finish school while I am trying to heal. I have a lot of reading to do so this weekend I really want to try to carve out some time to relax with Anthony but also read and be alone. I want to catch up in all aspects and feel ready to take on this masters degree. Luckily after May I get a break from classes to figure out what to do.

Anthony and I are currently working on several projects in our lives including finding a post marriage place to live, working on planning our wedding day, (no we aren't engaged yet) and trying to think of the future. We are certain that this is forever....if we can just get details down. I love that man so much and want to invest in our future everyday. I want to be proverbs 31 for him.

I just found out my student loan funds have arrived so that is a wonderful thing! That means I can get my gym membership, fix my car, and get going on plane tickets for Anthony to meet the fam! I am excited for all of that to occur. I am hoping that God brings forth all kinds of blessings from this and helps me get in shape for my wedding day, helps Anthony to see where I come from and understand more about me, and that my little cavie will make it a few more years to get me through graduate school.

Anyway, I should get dressed and ready for a night of being unprepared. I feel badly about not being caught up but hopefully God will get me through the night just fine.

Much love until then,

--Erica--

Roses, and how special they can be.

So on Monday night I was home making dinner and working my tail off trying to get a 13 year old to study for his test when my beautiful boyfriend came to my house bearing 2 dozen pink roses and a cute little teddy bear. I was astounded and not even because I got flowers but because of the awesome reasoning behind the flowers. Anthony shared with me one of the sweestest reasons of ever giving someone flowers. I obviously won't share our persona lives on the internet but I have never felt more loved in my life. The more amazing thing about it all was that today I was a total jerk because of some things I am going through on my own and he was so supportive and understanding of my pain.

I seriously am completely blessed to be with this man! :)

Renewed Dreams & Old Pain.

I talked about marriage yesterday and today I decided that to really get my dreams back, I have to start thinking about what I really want. I know what some of those are like a degree in Marriage/Family Therapy, a great career, to marry Anthony, and to have a baby!! The other things are a bit hazy, so today I go back to dreaming.



I love this dress! I like dresses that are red and white. I think it's the most amazing two colors together and that is what I want in a wedding dress!

--Erica--

Marriage, Dresses, Venues, and life.

This title might seem a little shocking but this has been on my mind lately. Next week on Friday will mark 6 years since Adolfo got on one knee and asked me to marry him with no intention of ever following through. Thursday will mark just 7 months that have shared with the most beautiful man I have ever known, Anthony James Lewis. Both of these being true makes me think of marriage. With Adolfo, I really thought when he asked me to marry him that it was what he wanted. I thought it was what WE wanted. I was wrong on both accounts. Now, I can hardly think of anything else besides spending my life with Anthony. I get excited thinking about walking down the aisle to his smile, dancing in his arms, and moreso starting a family with him and spending every day more than making it work. I look foward to experiencing life with him, seeing new things with him, watching new movies with him, hearing new music with him, visiting memories with him, and growing old right beside him.

In saying of all of this, I have been spending some much needed "wasted" time on Brides.com. I have been looking through dresses, cakes, venues, flowers, etc... I have also been thinking about what I would say in my vows, what things are important to me, what traditions I want to have at the ceremony, where we should live, and everything. I feel sappy and silly doing this but I never did this before! Not even 7 years ago when I had a new diamond on my finger and a boy who loved me filling my head with empty promises. Could it be that God delivered the man for me? I sure hope so.

--Erica--

Feeling absolutely inadequate.

Have you ever had a day where you felt like you were not good at anything? I have been having that day. I had a giant problem with Chris today, fought with Anthony, didn't feel adequate at school, and haven't really had much fun looking in the mirror. When I got with Anthony I started getting myself together diabetically which meant going back on tons of insulin. This caused excessive weight gain immediately. Add to that, that I have become excedingly comfortable in my glorious relationship and you get Erica, gaining about 50 lbs. I am bummed about that.

We, meaning Anthony and myself, are going to get gym memberships in the next few weeks when some money comes through and I am excited about getting on my plan. I am going to see a fitness trainer for 5 hours of time and try to get a plan going on how to get myself fit. You noticed I didn't say skinny, I said fit. I really want to observe what fitness is and just get myself in shape. I need to come in terms with whatever body I might get out of it but I want to be fit and healthy!

I have to start giving more time to things so I can be good at some things instead of feeling inadequate. I am going to spend the rest of the night studying so this is me, signing off.

--E--

Martin Luther King Jr.

Today is a great day in history. It is Martin Luther King Jr's birthday. He would have been 78 years old today had he not been shot. I think it's severely important to remember this great man because he listened to the voice of God and changed my life and several other lives. He fought for what he believed in no matter what it cost him. It ended up costing him his life. How many of us can say we are dedicated to something to that degree? I hope that I am dedicated to several things to that degree. I decided to start today and through February quote a famous African American who has changed history in some way and gave benefit to this great nation. I am proud to date a strong African American man who knows what he wants, how he wants it, and is proud of who he is!

This is one of my favorite quotes...

Of all the needs (there are none imaginary) a lonely child has, the one that must be satisfied, if there is going to be hope and a hope of wholeness, is the unshaken need for an unshakable God. --Maya Angelou, 1970

I think as Christians we all know that our true need is an unshakable God. I know I serve THE unshakable God!!!

Today my plans are to complete some assigned reading, write an essay for Christopher to get into Mater Dei High School, grocery shop, go get Chris from his mom, and watch the golden globes! Have to have some fun in a day full of tasks!

I love you all and will probably write at the end of today! Have a great MLK Day and God bless you!

Free at Last, Free at Last, Thank God Almighty We are Free at Last,

--Erica L. King---

Time = love...always has!

Time has been very restrictive lately with me working full time and attending classes full time, doing full time homework, having a boyfriend, and trying to get my health back together. Time has also been a great reminder of how much I am loved. Yesterday and Today were great for me because I got to spend time with two people I love dearly. Yesterday I spent the entire day with Anthony which is something I don't normally get the opportunity to do. We started our day out by going to eat lunch at Ruby's and have some great burgers. We left there and went for about an hour to the swap meet where I got a new book and some new shades. We then went and got Churros at El Pollo Loco and headed to Wal-mart to pick up my medications (ok, not the most romantic part of the day). After Wal-mart we came to my house to just chill for a while before heading to a $2.00 movie at 7:30. We saw "Flushed Away." It was a pretty cute little kids movie, we enjoy them. We capped the night off by just talking about how lovely our relationship really is! I was stoked!

Today was great too because I got to spend the morning having breakfast with Anthony and then I spent from 3:00 until just now with Heather and I never get that much time with her. We sat and talked for about 2 hours before heading to Macaroni Grill for some dinner where we both ate Shrimp and Spinach Dip/Salad/Bread and had great girl time. To top it off, my good friend Travis was our waiter. The night couldn't have worked out better. I am so completely blessed to have a great boyfriend and great best friend out here in California.

I also got to have a talk with my friend Carrie today which was brief but I needed to hear her voice and hear what's going on with her. I am praying for her so much as she battles some really big trials that I completely back her up in! I love that girl!

Overall today the lesson is, Time = love. I have always said this because we make time for those we love and things we love. I always make time for food because I love to eat. I always make time to read because I love to read. I need to make more time for me and my body because I love to do healthy things. I need to make more time for Friends and loved ones because well..I love them!

The plan for tonight is to do homework, listen to music, read, put away clothes, and enjoy that tomorrow I don't have to get up early! That certainly will be nice. Well, I should get to the rest of my night. I will write tomorrow in honor of one of the Americans who changed the course of history, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I stand in Awe of his impact on not only history, rights, and African Americans but on my life and the way it made me be able to marry the man I love!!! Thanks MLK! I appreciate ya!

--Erica--

Hanging with my baby!

I am not going to write much today probably until tonight because my baby is off work today and we are going to go look at new beds for me, eat some lunch, get some Jamba Juice, and spend the day relaxing and enjoying each other's company!! I love HIM!

The Notebook and some pain.

Yesterday while Anthony was here for a few hours and not working we watched "The Notebook" together and neither of us had seen it. I had heard numerous reviews of the movie from all of my friends and family saying it was such a great movie and I would cry so hard at the ending and such and such. I loved the movie and it certainly is one of the better romances of my generation, however there was no crying. I watched the movie and found that there was no saddness at the end. If you have seen this movie you know that the ending really is exactly as it should have been. Maybe there would have been crying if it turned out that one of the main characters were gone but not the other but the way it ended, pleased me greatly. All was right with my world.

Now, onto other topics. I am in immense pain today. I haven't had a urinary tract infection for a while so naturally it had to happen the first week of the semester. It's in full swing today and hurting like crazy. I have been up several times throughout the night trying to keep myself from feeling badly but if any of you have ever had one, you know it's miserable. I have a lot of reading to do this weekend so I hope it doesn't distract me too much. I have a doctor's appointment next Thursday so I have to hold out until then to get antibiotics. I am going to try to purchase an over the counter med for it until then.

I had my last class last night and it looks like it's going to be good. It's a stats class and as a rule, I am not really a math person but our prof for this class said it isn't so much computational as it is psychological stats so I am looking forward to it. It teaches me how to read research and that is something I really want to be able to do effectively. I am really lucky because I found one of my text books that I couldn't afford yet at the library and since I am a grad student I can check it out for the whole semester so that will save me around $40.00.

I am really proud of myself because last night I spent 2 and 1/2 hours working on reading assignments and such. I buckled down and removed all distractions and just did some reading and took notes over my reading. I also did a small assignment for Family Therapy and got to bed not too late so now I am up early in the morning starting my weekend. I am looking forward to this weekend even though the infection is here with a vengence. I have tonight to really finish up a lot of my reading and spend time with myself. On Saturday Anthony is off work so I have a really great day with the boyfriend planned and on Sunday I get to spend time with Heather which also doesn't happen a whole lot anymore. I miss her so much! She really needs the time as do I right now.

My list of things that are musts for consistency are doing ok. I seem to be getting into the habit of completing them more every day. By the end of this year, I am hoping these things will just naturally be a part of my life. Well, I am going to go and start on my list of things to do for the day. I hope everyone reading this had a spectacular weekend and allows themselves to be blessed.

--Erica--

Back to School

It's been a few days and the busy-ness has already pervaded my life. I had classes on Tuesday and this semester looks like it's going to be a lot of work but also a lot of learning and I like that. I have another class today and that completes my school week. Work has been pretty average this week with Chris just having normal homework and no big projects or tests so that's nice. The relationship has been going really well this week and we have gotten a bit more time together because I think we are making more of an effort these days. We have also gotten into a few really HUGE discussions and I like the sound of them.

Consistency is not perfect but better than usual. Anthony and I spent a great deal of time last night cleaning up the room and getting it "study-worthy." I am one of those people who can't sit down and study unless my area is entirely clean and free of clutter. I am now clutter free and able to really get into my to-do list and get things completed. I got a few things off of the to-do list this morning such as changing my cell phone plan, cancelling a few unneeded expenses and working on a budget for myself for this new year. I really want to be out of debt soon and that is going to take some serious discipline and consistency.

My spiritual life is the area where the consistency is failing and that is awful because it's the most important area. I met with my therapist on Monday and we talked about how I really want to get this area of my life under control. She suggested that instead of asking so much of myself I commit to 5 things in each area. I decided to bring this to the blog because I seriously think that the blog is a place for me to really direct my thoughts and work on things. So here are my areas and the things I want to commit to.

Spirituality:

1. Read daily bible reading
2 Do devotions (quiet time)
3. Pray (no set time period)
4. Attend church once a month (to start)
5. Give back in some way with time and finances

Health:

1. Take prescribed medications every day
2. Take vitamins every day
3. Drink a lot of water daily
4. Eat no pork products
5. Exercise daily in some way

Budget:

1. Only eat out once a week
2. Pay $300 on debt per month
3. Scale back finances in any way possible
4. Only buy needs until budget is in order
5. Budget every paycheck on paper

School:

1. Do everything to complete required reading
2. Turn in all assignments on time
3. Attend all classes
4. Ask questions when I don't understand a concept
5. Get more involved when possible

Job:

1. Keep dishes and laundry up
2. Always be available to Christopher
3. Be on time to everything
4. Keep a running to do list so I don't forget tasks
5. Keep updates with Richard on everything

Self Care:

1. Do some fun reading every single day
2. Talk to at least one friend a day
3. Plan at least one event each week with a friend
4. Do one nice thing a month for me
5. Have one date with myself per week

Relationship:

1. Spend a little time each day with Anthony
2. Have at least one date night a week
3. Do something nice for Anthony daily (no restrictions)
4. Tell Anthony how much he means to me in creative ways daily
5. Work on problems that anthony sees in me and that i agree with always

These are my main areas and the things I care most about. I am hoping that I can stay consistent just in these things and let other things go if they aren't that important. I know that we only have one go in this life and I want mine to count. I love you all and have a beautiful Thursday!

--Erica--

The Last Kiss

So I just finished my 3rd movie from Netflix and it was really sad and disturbing. It was "The Last Kiss" with Zach Braff. I really like him but he was not my favorite person in this movie. It was under the genre of romance but if that is romance, we have really lost the true meaning. This was filled with drama, cheating, heartache, loss, divorce, breakups etc... In other words, what the world has turned love into. It's sad that we are so jaded these days. I am hoping to really fully enjoy my love life and never turn it into something so harsh and volatile. I used to live just like that and it wasn't fun.

I am really starting to get a urinary tract infection and it's awful. I am drinking a lot of water to try to prevent it from getting worse but most likely I will be asking for antibiotics at the doctor on the 18th. I have a diabetic check up then and that is a good time to get everything else looked at too. I still have my chest congestion and a lot of blowing of the nose too so I might just have a roaming infection in my body that needs killed.

I am so excited because Anthony is off work and headed home and we have the rest of the evening together because he doesn't work tonight. I miss him so much so tonight will be nice. We have plans to grab dinner, some frozen yogurt and head home to cuddle up and watch a thriller. I miss my boy and just to have his arms around me is all that I need in life. Tomorrow it's back to the grind so one more night of vacation won't hurt.

Tomorrow I have work, a therapy appointment, and have to get ready to go back to school. I am excited about my new classes and starting this new year right. I am hoping to really delve into some serious issues in therapy tomorrow too. I need it from my vacation!

Happy Sabbath everyone and I am signing off for the night to be with my man. God thank you so much for so much beauty in my life.

--Erica--

A new week in a new year

So technically today is the first day of the 2nd week of the new year. I am amazed at how well the first week went. My new year is looking up except for a impending urinary tract infection I seem to be acquiring. Also, this morning I had kind of an emtional outburst with Anthony where I spoke not harshly but not sweetly and ended up crying when he left the room to take a shower. I am missing my boy so much these days. I see him a total of about 2 hours a day because 22 of them, he seems to be either sleeping or working. I feel like the quality of our relationship at some point might get harmed due to all of this work. I know that we need the money or whatever and I appreciate how hard he works but I miss him and need him sometimes. It's so true when they say money can't buy you love. The love is there and even if money is pouring in, it can really hurt the relationship. We are very happy right now but we are both missing the intimacy of our relationship and the time we used to have together. We are coming up on 7 months together and it's amazing how much we have grown in such a short time but either way, it is difficult because we are still in the newness and not seeing each other as much as we would like.

Today I have plans to finish up my room, get my school stuff ready for my new week, do a load of laundry, work out, and try not to miss the love of my life too much. I will be blogging here and there too. It's been keeping me focused in the new year and keeping me consistent. I am still doing pretty good in that department actually. We'll see how it works when I am back to work and school.

On other topics, I miss my friends. I miss going shopping with the girls, coffee, lunch, breakfast, any meal whatsoever, movies, etc... I miss just good old friend time. I haven't even had time for me since I started Graduate School. I think my next couple years are going to look like this and the strong will survive. We shall see. I really hope I am strong enough to survive it. All I can think right now is that I am ready to get married, have a place with Anthony, and start creating our family and traditions. I just want to be his wife and make him a good home. Is that wrong?

I am completely and totally in love with Anthony and my old Erica tendencies of wanting to jump right into something that I love and want is really hard to fight against. I know that time is of the essence right now and I have a degree to continue and things to do for me but man, it's so tempting to just throw my hands up and say ..I surrender ..bring me marriage. I know that right now isn't the time and even in our relationship, we aren't ready but it's tempting when you finally find someone that makes you so happy and you can't stand to be without.

Oh well, I guess I am having a hard day afterall. I know that I really need to calm down and just enjoy the Sabbath and realize that time is precious and even if I only get 30 minutes with him, at least I get that. That's easy to say but really hard to do. I only want more time with him if I get any at all. Oh well, what's new....I don't get what I want. I should be used to this by now in my stupid life.

I am down now! I have to get off here and do something good for me.

--Erica--

The Village and Chicken Little

So tonight I worked hard on re-organizing my room and watched some netflix while I did that. I watched "The village" first and it was a very odd movie but one I enjoyed. I thought I would watch the more creepy one first since I would be going to bed (or so I thought). I started Chicken Little after that and I am still watching it now. I can't sleep and it's 4:00 am because I took a 3 hour nap earlier and boy did it make me well rested. Anthony is at work tonight so I miss him but the time we had together today was so precious to me.

I was laying in bed tonight trying to get to sleep and listening to my i-pod when I literally had to get up and dance. That is another of my lost loves. I was always dancing when I was younger and I miss it so much. I was dancing like a fool in my room by myself in my pjs. I thought it was fun and a little funny actually. I was realizing that I still love reading, dancing, music, and of course softball. Today I was able to read, nap, dance, listen to music, and hit some balls in the batting cage. What a perfect day!

I decided to add to my already awesome blog about life, movies, love, self improvement and the such, why not add the first song on my shuffle button on my i-pod to try to add spice to the blog. Today the song is: Lay your hands on me-- Bon Jovi.

Yes I completely still listen to Bon Jovi and various other 80's artists for that matter. This song is just a great tune that reminds of Indiana and all of it's vintage glory. How I love my i-pod!

--Erica--

A true romantic comedy.

I am one of those girls who is a sucker for a really great romantic comedy. Today I realized, I am in the middle of one. I wrote earlier about how Anthony and I had plans to go and do errands together and that was our "together" time. Well, the man I am enamored with yet again surprised me. He came home this morning from cashing his check and had bought me three cds that I have been wanting badly that include the new ones from John Mayer, John Legend, and Brian McKnight. This man knows the way to my heart. We then got into the car to start our errands or so I thought. He had plans the whole day to take me to boomers and play miniature golf instead. It was so nice to get our time together really to be ours. We played a round (which I won), went to the batting cages, played a few games of skee ball, shoe shopped, and had lunch. It was a miraculous 2 and 1/2 hours. I missed my boy and he gave me a little romantic comedy today. I was so happy!

Later on I had plans to have a "date night" with me. I decided a good romantic comedy and a nap should do the job. I watched a movie called "Alex & Emma" which features Luke Wilson and Kate Hudson. It was really good and really spoke to my interests of novels! I recommend it. The rest of the night I am going to watch my netflix because they came today and I will blog on them later. I also plan to organize my room, do dishes, and enjoy the rest of my weekend. I miss my boy still but it was nice to get a little bit of him today and remember how truly blessed I am to live inside my little romantic comedy!

--Erica--

Errands, Schedules, and Days gone by.

Today I realized that errands consume a great deal of my life. Yesterday I spent an hour and a 1/2 solving a customer service issue. Isn't it amazing how much of our lives we spend running to the store, mailing items, picking up prescriptions, picking up our dry cleaning, making phone calls and the such? I was perplexed because I had plans to spend much of my evening last night getting my life organized. Tonight has shifted to that night. Anthony and I haven't had a date in God knows how long due to his two jobs. I was thinking how I really wanted to spend time with him and just enjoy his company but since that isn't an option, I will go on a date with me and clean my room tonight. I need to get things together for the new semester anyway and for Chris' new quarter.

Today, Anthony and I are spending our precious time together running errands. I hate that for us. We are going to put insurance on his car and get it smog checked. Those are the kinds of things we do as a couple right now. I will be really grateful when God blesses Anthony with a raise or promotion so that one job is adequate for our lives. I am also going to be grateful when we both have figured out our debt and budgets and have a handle on how to take care of money, we are both learning that lesson.

My today is going to be filled with time with Anthony, cleaning, organizing, spending time with me and God, and getting ready for my "new year." I hope you all have a great Saturday and many blessings to you!

--Erica--

Consistency ...yet again.

So I said I was going to take one of my areas of struggle and blog it to death and boy have I with consistency?! I have been very consistent in the new year. I have eaten pretty well, taken meds, cared for my loved ones, done my job well, read my Bible, etc... and it feels good. Today I went over to Vanguard and registered financially for the new semester and saw my good friend Seth. He is a constant reminder of God's love for me through the program as well as several other people I go to school with. I talked with him for a few minutes and found out we have 3 classes together which is a blessing in every way. Consistency was important in a lot of areas but the one that I have come to the conclusion is the most important is trusting God and knowing HE loves me! I have been able to see his love in the new year way better through my family, friends, boyfriend, blessings, and opportunities to bless others.

Very few people actually read this blog on a daily basis so I don't mind sharing this today. I was at Target today and was heading in to get my storage containers for all of my STUFF and a few small school supplies to start the semester out and I was talking to my little sister on my $300 cell phone when this lady walked up to me with a squeegie in her hand and a few bags as well. She said "Excuse me Ma'm but do you mind if I wash your windows for a little money for my family to eat?" She was toothless, dirty, and clearly malnourished. My heart strings were very much tugged.

I know that a lot of people might say I am a sucker or might say "She will only buy drugs or alcohol" but something in my spirit said those words that Jesus said so many years ago. "What you do the least of these, you have done to me." I looked into her eyes and said absolutely. I got into my wallet and got out the only cash I had in there (I am pretty broke myself right now) which was $6.00 and handed it to her. She smiled with her toothless grin and I said "God bless you." I meant it this time. I wanted God to richly bless her. I wanted God to revolutionize her entire life. I wanted her to see how much He loves her. I wanted her to feel just a glimpse of the love I feel from Jesus Christ. He has given me great family, friends, and the most amazing boyfriend that could ever have been created. He handed me diamonds in the people he gave me. He gave me an intellect where I can learn well and a great education. He gave me a great job as Chris' nanny where I can maintain my life. He gave me everything and I watched today as someone without those things still pressed on trying to provide for her family. Talk about Girl power! I was moved. I saw Jesus in her and I wanted to serve Him so badly. We are all only one lay off, one bankruptcy, one house-fire away from losing all we have and becoming toothless, malnourished, and dirty.

Today I hoped that as she walked away from my cavalier (completely paid off at age 26) that she did an impeccable job cleaning up, she thought..that girl knows her Lord and He loves me enough to bring me to her! I wanted her to see Jesus in me, I only hope I showed His face well. I pray that it was Him, coming to see me today and remind me of his love and blessings in my life. I need to be often reminded of all of my blessings and how truly provided for I really am. Think that through today as some of you might be better off than myself. Thank HIM and help someone else today who might not be!

--Erica--

Netflix, love, laundry, and laughter

So tonight I decided that it was time to join netflix. I have had an account at Hollywood Video (which Anthony works for) and used their MVP plan which is somewhat like Netflix but not as good of a deal. So tonight, I decided to spare the money and hassle, netflix is the way to go. Anthony and I rely on movies for much of our entertainment life since we are both working our way to success and have little time or money for extravagance. I made my 500 movies I want to watch and that took a while. I chose a lot of tv series but it was fun to think about all of the films and tv shows I get to watch soon! :) YAY! I should receive the first shipment on Saturday and I thought it would be fun to share with the blog my view of my netflix movies.

Tonight I was sitting here and thinking about Anthony and how sweet the relationship between us really is and I had to call him at work and just say how much I truly love him. I have never been more secure in anything in my life. He makes me so happy. He makes me cry from being touched, laugh from his silly jokes, smile from his touch, and sigh from his kisses. He is the epitome of all things I truly desire. I am so anxious for God to say it's time to be with him forever and start a family together. I know that it is not in my hands though so I am enjoying January 5th ..2007 until then.

I have been doing laundry all day today and tonight. We had so many clothes from our Christmas "vacation" as well as all of the bed linens and towels from being sick. I have been trying so hard to catch up for days. I am lucky because I have the whole day off tomorrow. I am going to spend it sleeping in, taking my financial paperwork over to Vanguard, and cleaning up the room and making my life organized for my pending big start over with work and school. I am getting excited about my new classes and seeing my Grad Psych friends and kind of "starting over" in a sense of how I view myself academically.

Well, I should get off here and continue the mounds of laundry that is my life! Have a happy and safe weekend!

--E--

Consistency in action.

So last night after really recovering from the flu and cleaning my house top to bottom killing that mean flu virus, I laid down in the bed to catch up with my Bible reading plan. I read about Noah and this verse caught me by surprise. "He consistently followed God's will and enjoyed a close relationship with him." (Genesis 6:9b) I was amazed because it used this word that has been haunting me in the new year...consistently. I struggle with consistency in all of my relationships, endeavors, tasks, responsibilities, etc... I know that if I follow consistently my relationships will be closer, my grades better, my tasks completed on time, my life easier. I know this and found this to be true in a great biblical example of Noah. Noah had no problem knowing what to do in the flood situation because he was consistent. He didn't run out of time getting the ark built because he was consistent. He didn't get sick with all of those animals because my guess is, he was consistent. I long to be as consistent as Noah.

I ended up really getting the house cleaned up from the flu yesterday and have more laundry to run today. Christopher has a dental appointment, karate, and is going to his mom's this evening so that gives me a lot of time today to get the room picked up and plan out my next week which involves me returning to classes. This semester is going to be different. I will read my assignments, have things in on time, attend all of my classes, and not let my outside issues get in the way of my education. I am raring to go. I am looking forward to my classes to as they sound interesting.

I also return into full swing work on Monday as Christopher returns to classes as well. He is starting to get ready for the high school exam too so that should be a blast. We will also be trying to balance my schedule and his for a while with Thursdays being the operative problem. I am determined to get through this semester without a hitch. I have a little time constraint but one I should be able to work out.

I also return to therapy on Monday so my life is pretty much going right back into full swing all at once. I pray that my consistency issue will not rear it's ugly head but that I will get a hold on things. I have really not "started" working on the weight issue yet because I wanted to get better from this sickness but I am thinking about everything that goes into my mouth lately. I am going to start my work out plan tonight I think since I am rested up from being sick. I am not sure if my lungs are ready yet but we'll see. I am starting at working out 3 days a week and go from there. Once I get my loan money back it is going to go to a gym membership because my body has to get some CONSISTENT exercise.

Well, I should go and make some lunch for me and the boy. We are going to be starving on the job if we don't have something to eat. Be consistent like Noah today!

--Erica --

2nd day and all of my nourishment is GONE

So just when you think a new year is going to bring changes of consistency and then you are laid up in bed. I woke up on Tuesday morning and I was not feeling so great. I knew that Anthony and Richard and Chris had all been struggling with the stomach flu but for some reason, I thought I was exempt with all of my vitamins taken and I was already battling a horrible cold since Indiana. Well I started going to the bathroom at about 8:30 am and didn't stop all night. I lost everything in my system through that or vomiting so needless to say my January 2nd was NOT a blast. I literally had no energy to even walk around so I did my job from the bed while my wonderful boyfriend handled all the details. Anthony did dishes, cleaned my room, cleaned up vomit, ran around getting me everything I needed, and kept Chris out of my hair and doing what he needed to do. I am so freakin blessed to have this man.

So to report on my consistency for yesterday, I seriously did tell Anthony how lucky I was to have him and tried to be courteous to his needs although I was a mess. I didn't eat anything so no worries on eating heathfully. I didn't take my meds because I was not eating and that isn't safe. I didn't read my Bible but you can bet your sweet behind, I prayed. I will catch up with Bible reading today and try to get my chores accomplished but I am still rather weak and very nauseous. If you are reading this, please say a prayer for me. I will blog later today about my January 3rd. Hopefully it's better.

--E--

Cleaning the corners in the New Year.

Well first of all, Happy New Year everyone! 2007 is sure to be a great year! I am starting the new year right with a blog. I just read a great devotional and it was about our lives with God and how we have sins that are obvious in our lives like the major housecleaning that takes place in our houses daily. You know what I mean; washing dishes, sweeping floors, cleaning out the fridge (my most hated) and those types of things. These relate the obvious sins like lying, stealing, lusting, cursing, hate, greed, etc... These can be the obvious ones and difficult to work with just like the others. Then there are the less obvious sins or the dirty corners. In our houses this relates to cleaning baseboards, scrubbing under the fridge, cleaning out the junk drawers and closets, etc... These are the less obvious messes but still harmful to the cleanliness of your house. These are like the less obvious sins in our lives like "white lies", hidden agendas, manipulation, bad attitudes, procrastination, etc... These are the ones I am paying attention to in the new year.

I wrote before how I really want to work with inconsistency so what better place to begin than on a new start on January 1st! Today I had a healthy breakfast, took my meds, was nice to my bf, am blogging, and intend to delve into my WORD in just a bit. I am reading and answering emails, making a todo list to organize my time, planning on hitting the sack at 11:30 for good health, cleaning my room, doing laundry, organizing and just plain getting it right in the New Year.

The most pressing thing I really want to address in 2007 though is my corners. I want to address those bad attitudes and bad habits that leave me really wanting more of God and not fully able to reach Him. They hinder my spirituality, my relationships, and my well-being. I intend to really pull the furniture out this year and let my dirt be exposed. I hope everyone that reads this has a chance to pull the "fridge" out and get the crumbs. God reaches us in our most vulnerable state. My 2007 is going to be about Love, forgiveness, cleaning, organizing, managing, and mainly becoming the woman I was intended to be for my God, myself, my husband, and my children! Hopefully God and others will be loved better this year!

To a new year, Cheers!

--Erica @ work--