Monday, October 10, 2011

Don't take it personal

Yesterday, I spent a bit of time with my gorgeous nephew Shawn and he served as a great reminder to me of things I need to learn. He is 2 years and 5 months old and full of energy and curiosity. He loves to get into things, try things out, and experiment. He comes to my house and every item I own becomes his next big interest, for a few minutes. Yesterday he was playing with my refrigerator magnets and learning that they stick to each other, to the fridge, and not to certain other areas in my house. Neither Hilliary or I got to him in time to keep the magnets from their swim in Nika's water dish. These are things he is doing now on a minute by minute basis and of course driving his mama crazy!

Hilliary and I were talking and she was feeling overwhelmed by his sudden new need to try everything and not listen very well either. I was reminding her about where he is in his development and saying to her "Don't take it personally" when I realized I need to take my own advice. Reminding Hilliary that Shawn is simply a two year old with a lot of world questions and not a child who really wants his mother to be near insanity is when I realized that I take so many things personally in my life and allow them to be hindrances to my walk with Christ, my relationship with my husband, and even my self-care.

I take it personally when a bill is overdue and we can't figure out how to make ends meet. I blame God and feel like he doesn't love me because all things don't fall in place easily. I take it personally when my husband forgets to do something I have asked him to do yet don't want him to take it personally when the same thing happens to me because I have overbooked myself with things to do. I take it personally when I feel awful and people do not stop needing me, instead of drawing boundaries and taking care of myself so I can feel better. I can truly take a lesson from Mr. Shawn Lee and not take it personally!

--E--


Saturday, October 08, 2011

A month in

The last time I wrote in my blog it was 25 days before we were going to leave for Southern Indiana. So much has happened since that blog was written and it feels a million miles away. Technically we have only lived in Indiana for a month and 11 days and it has been absolutely crazy. Before we left for Indiana we had planned to have a large yard sale to get rid of some of our belongings to make our move much easier. Well, on August 7th I was admitted to the hospital for Gallbladder issues and was treated for a few days before having my Gallbladder removed on August 10th. I turned 31 years old on August 9th and that same day, Anthony and I were married three years. I spend my birthday and our anniversary on heavy medication and in serious pain. The next day, I was one organ down.

As you can imagine, that is not the ending we had planned for our time in California. The move was made very hectic due to this as I could not lift anything and really was no help to Anthony at all in the packing of the truck. Also, I wasn't able to drive my car so we had to leave a lot of our belongings in storage in California and my car is still parked there as well. What a bummer! I am, however, grateful that my Gallbladder has now been removed and I feel so much better from that nonsense.

The trip across the United States was incredibly fast due to us moving our cat as well. The trip went very well and was uneventful and we appreciated that so much. Nika really liked to travel and spent most of her time sleeping underneath the seat or looking out the windows when we made pit stops. She is really adjusting to Indiana nicely but then again, she is an indoor cat so I don't know if she would even notice anyway.

As we were about a state away from Indiana, my little sister (Brittany) went into Labor with my second niece. She was not really scheduled to be delivered until September but she had other ideas. She was born at 10:56 am on the day I arrived, August 27th. I was only hours from being able to be there. Luckily I was over at the hospital by that night and got to see my beautiful new niece, Madelyn Mae Marie Chastain.

I spent the first couple of weeks here doing what any other person who just moved does. I saw my nieces and nephew as many times as possible and started to unload boxes. A few weeks into September, in my hometown they have what is called "The Persimmon Festival" I come from the Persimmon Capital of the world and this festival has been going on for 65 years and it is always a big thing for my home town. I was determined to go a few days this year and enjoy it and remember what I loved about it as a kid.

The first day of the festival or the "kick-off" is the Candlelight Tour at Spring Mill State Park. I went down there with Hilliary, Robert (her husband), and my nephew Shawn and really enjoyed the whole event. I remembered how beautiful Indiana can really be and was able to catch up with a few high school/youth group friends. It was a great night. That afternoon I also went to watch my best Indiana Friend's little girl, Riley participate in the Mini Miss Persimmon contest. She was fantastic and ended up being crowned a princess in the pageant. So cute!

I went to the festival on Monday and really enjoyed seeing people and eating Persimmon Pudding and hanging out with Anthony and my family. Tuesday it seemed like my time here just changed drastically. We were having a great time at the festival and decided to call it quits for the night and headed over to the Mitchell Library where we had parked our car. My mom was riding home with us as well as my nieces Kaylea and Madelyn. A quick review, my mom had a stroke a few years ago and started to have problems walking. Last year she started using a cane and lost significant balance. So, we were walking to the car and my mom slipped on a small bottle in the road and lost her balance and fell.

The next several hours seemed to fly by as we called the paramedics, met her at the hospital, found out her hip was broken, and scheduled surgery for the next morning. Surgery was a success and she was released from the hospital a few days later, into a rehabilitation facility in my hometown. She is still there and it is presumed she will be for 6 weeks. Since then I have established Power of Attorney and have handled all of her business as well as my own. I am happy to help her and I know she needs it but I think we are both pretty exhausted. The good news is her rehab is going very well and she is doing everything the doctors are asking. I appreciate that more than she will ever know.

In our home, things are going pretty stressful as well. About a week after we moved here, Anthony started his new job at the Starbucks in a neighboring town. He really loves everyone he works with and just like Anthony, loves his job. We are very grateful with how easy the move was in terms of establishing employment for him. We found out upon getting here however that he was going to take a pay cut due to it being a different state. We thought that he would not be getting a pay cut due to his recent evaluation in California but we are not sure what is going on with that. On top of that, the store he works at has significantly less business than the one he came from so he often gets cut from work a 1/2 hour to an hour early and that loses money of course.

I have already started working here doing some Life Coaching as well as tutoring local students. I have not established a full time position yet due to helping my mom out and the fact that we are operating on one vehicle in a place with no public transportation. I also have to register with the Board here and that requires testing and a LARGE fee (Over $300). Overall, I am sure that with time we will be able to catch up our finances from the very expensive move and be able to find our niche but we are certainly in a very stressful situation starting out.

We love our new apartment and love the price that we pay for it. We are really happy with our neighborhood and location. We are more than excited to see the kids so much and we are looking forward to the holidays with them. It has just been a very hard month.

I have been sick the whole time we have lived here with what seems like the common cold but it won't go away so now I have to find some money to see a doctor so that I can get some antibiotics. Diabetic meds have been difficult to come up with since money has been so difficult starting out here and I have to establish all new doctors. I forgot how hard it is to move across the country and start over entirely.

I am hoping by the new year to feel settled and not miss California so badly. I don't miss the expenses, the stress, or the schedule. I don't miss hurting over not seeing my babies and having so much to do I could hardly sleep. I miss my friends, the weather, and knowing what was next for the most part. I know we made the right decision but I am struggling with all of the realities of this move. I am tired, sick, and stressed. I pray it all stops soon and I can see better health, better finances, and brighter horizons for me and my whole family.

I appreciate you reading and hope you are all well

--Erica