Tuesday, July 20, 2010

19 days...

In 19 short days, I will hit a major milestone in my life. I will turn thirty years old. It's hard to believe this is already here when I feel like I just turned 20 a few moments ago. As I mentioned before in the blog, thirty has me really thinking. It has me thinking about the things I wanted to accomplish by thirty, taking stock of what I have, in reality, accomplished, and what I hope to accomplish in the next year of my life. I am one of those people that wakes up every day hoping to be better than I was the day before in whatever aspects I can. I try to make sure I am staying true to my priorities and that I am constantly working on being closer to the image of Christ. I don't always achieve this and I often fall flat on my face to be honest, but I don't want to ever be okay with that and stop pursuing the new/fresh/better me.

One of the projects I have taken on for my 30th year is something I am calling "My 30 at 30" project. I am choosing 30 things that I want to really work on/change in my 30th year and am going to stay accountable to get them accomplished or at least worked on. We all say something every single year in our resolutions that never get done so I am using this time to treat this as a MUST DO list. I am in full belief that if we really want something, we will do it and not until. That being said, my list is full of things that I have been wanting to do for years but have never really committed to and I am using my 30th year as a jumping off point for actually getting these things worked on.

Some of them are personal and won't be shared completely on the blog, some of them are smaller and just need to be a breaking or creating of habits, and some of them are paramount to me being the healthiest I can be in every aspect and must be committed to beyond what I have ever been before. I would tell you at any given point if you asked that my first priority in life is my relationship with Jesus. I would follow that up with my relationship with my Husband. My third priority, I would tell you is my health. On and on the list goes sounding oh so noble and correct. I would tell all of those things but what the reality would be is that I want my first priority to be my relationship with Jesus. I want my second priority to be my relationship with Anthony. I want my third priority to be my health and relationship with my self. Are those things true?


It goes more something like this:

1. Facebook
2. Television Shows
3. Eating what I want
4. Career
5. Worrying about all of the priorities that aren't getting paid attention to.

As you can see, I have some work to do! I think if we were all very honest, we say that things are a priority but often times, they just aren't. In our minds, hearts, and souls..they really are important but not until they are suffering unfortunately. I have decided that to start this project, that is the place to begin. My priorities are very simple yet they are not being paid attention to.


I am starting at the very beginning, a very good place to start! As I said before, my first priority is (I want it to be) my relationship with Jesus. This doesn't just mean going through spiritual motions and doing meaningless rituals to feel better about my relationship with Christ. It means legitimately making it the first thing in my life every single day.

Now you may ask yourself what that looks like to me. For me, it is a fairly simple equation.

Matthew 6:33 says "Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all of these things will be given to you as well.

I figure if that's true, then the other 29 items on the list will be easy if I am seeking first the Kingdom. Yeah right! Unfortunately, anything we are supposed to do is not designed to build comfort, but character. So the first item on my list is going to stem right from seeking first His Kingdom and His righteousness. If we want to be exactly like someone else, what do we do?

I would think we do the following:

  • Spend time with them
  • Study them and their character
  • Spend time with those that know them
  • Act out what they do
Since this is true, I decided my first step of spending time with HIM will be my prayer life. We all, as Christians need time with our heavenly Father. Not just to list the many things we need help with although that is okay too but to just BE with Him! I decided that each step of my thirty at thirty will be written in the same manner of committing to do something concrete and solid so that I am not feeling tempted to "technically" do anything.

So...without further ado...

1. In my 30th year, I will spend my first moments in prayer each morning when I wake up and my last moments of my day before bed in prayer.

I do not want to put a time limit on my prayer life just for the sake of keeping it fluid so that as I grow more in discipline to spend time with Jesus, that I don't watch the clock. I would just like it to naturally progress. The main idea in this endeavor is to make sure I make Jesus my first thought of the day and my last thought of the day and spending time with Him will help me be more like HIM!

Let the games begin!

Monday, July 05, 2010

Baby Steps

Well, let's talk about the elephant in the room. Babies. We are coming up on the anniversary of our first child's death. July 16th of last year I was in severe pain both emotionally and physically and watching one of my biggest dreams die. I really went through so much the last year in terms of my own healing and even seeing the ugliness in myself. It is so hard sometimes to feel happiness and joy for others when they find out they are pregnant, when they have children, and when they tell me what their baby's gender is. I try so hard to keep a smile firmly planted on my face but overall, I am just happy to get through it.

Although the year has brought many sad and difficult moments, it has also brought a lot of happy moments. I have not lived a horrible existence from what happened to me. I have hurt at times and I have had joy at times. I decided that when this happened, I would still serve God, love Him and trust him with my life. I also chose that I would still delight in the things that he has blessed me with like a wonderful husband, an awesome niece and nephew, great sisters, my awesome kitty cat Nika, and various other people and things in my life. So, although it has been a hard year, it has been a year I wouldn't take back.

Now, onto the topic. Everyone asks me and Anthony when we are going to have children and although we never really have an answer, I think I can finally answer it. I am not ready just yet. Although I have grieved for a full year and feel confident about trying to have a child again, I want to be in the best health I can be. So, I have started (about 2 months ago) to work out on a regular basis and trade in my old processed foods for whole foods and try to lose some weight. I have not been successful in losing any weight but I do feel a whole lot better. I am not sure what is holding back the weight loss but I will press on and continue to strive for better health.

My diabetes is in the best place it has EVER been in because for once in my life I have taken my shots for about 6 months straight with no failing. It has been the best I have felt in years. I have no idea if God is going to be bless us with a little one of our own but we do know that we want children so I just wanted to address this on the blog because I have been asked so much.

Yes I will try again

Yes, I do want children

Yes, Anthony still wants children

No, we have not been trying

Yes, we are considering adoption

Yes, I am scared to death of losing another child


God has this in his hands and until I am healthy (by a doctor's standards) I will not try to have a child. If I get pregnant while NOT trying, then we will take the best care of my pregnant body but as for actively trying to get pregnant, WE ARE NOT.

I pray that as each day passes of this second year, I can get more and more healing over my heart and that my body becomes a great vessel to bring Baby Lewis # 2 into the world.

I appreciate all of your love, support, and prayers over the last year and will never forget the heart felt words you have all shared with me.

I can't wait to be a mom but...I will to be the best one possible!


Saturday, July 03, 2010

Gladiator and Pride & Prejudice

I am not feeling too good today so I took advantage of the time down and watched Gladiator and read some Pride and Prejudice. Here are my thoughts on both. I am not quite done with the book but the movie was excellent. I really loved Russell Crowe's Character however, I really wanted to punch Joaquin Phoenix in the face by the end too! I have to give it to him though, the acting was phenomenal. You always know if you love or hate someone ...or feel strongly about them at all by the end of a movie, they must have done a good job portraying their character. I can understand why this movie is one to see before you kick the bucket.

The only criticism I have for it is that I am a bit squeamish when it comes to blood and guts and it was a tad bit much for me at some points but completely necessary for the material being presented. Good movie, I liked it a lot!

Onto Pride and Prejudice. I already just love the sarcasm that Eliza and Mr. Darcy have with one another and in general. Even though the language is not what I speak on a day to day basis, it is not lost on me how witty and awesome this writing is. I have wanted to read this for years and never made the time. I am glad I am making the time now. It is so far amazing and I will continue reading and reporting back. How are your life lists coming? Have you made any goals yet?

By the way, I also worked on my Spanish for right around 2 hours yesterday! Not bad huh?

Yo Necessito Estudiar mucho mas.


Life List, Vol 2

Here are the next 20 items on my life list: Today's list is going to be themed toward one of my passions....food. These are some famous restaurants out here in Cali that I am dying to visit.

21. Dan Tana's Italian Food for the Stars

22. Musso & Frank

23. Nate & Als Jewish Deli in Beverly Hills

24. Engine Co. # 28

25. The pacific Dining car

26. Spago's

Here are some more things on my life list that are NOT about food, these are about another passion altogether...traveling. Things I want to see before I leave this planet.

27. Times Square.

28. Graceland.

29. Central Park.

30. Pearl Harbor.

31. Art Institute of Chicago

32. Statue Of Liberty.

33. Lincoln Memorial

34. Metropolitan Museum of Art.

35. Freedom Trail.

36. Gateway Arch. (I have seen this but would like to go up in it)

37. Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and Museum.

38. Greenwich Village.

39. National Civil Rights Museum.

40. Space Needle

I love touristy stuff and want to see it all! There are plenty more where those came from.

Friday, July 02, 2010

1001 Movies...

So Anthony and I just made it through the entire Godfather series this evening. We made it part of our date night since we had Italian food and it was awesome. We had watched Godfather I and II over the past couple of weeks and the third one was no letdown. I loved every single second of all three movies and they got me that much closer to the 1001 movies to see before I die. The next is line is.....

I have to admit that in the past I probably would not have watched this movie so it will be a stretch for me and probably rewarding and the greatest part, it is absolute guaranteed time with the hubs because he loves movies and this one especially. I will let you know how it goes. I am excited about my life list.

I should also make you aware that I am currently reading ...

since it is on the list of books I should read before I die and although it has been sitting on my shelf for some time, I have never gotten around to reading it. I will also let everyone know my thoughts on that one.

I hope you all are working your way through your list and enjoy my thoughts on mine!

The Life List

So I was reading a blog I have recently become very into called Mighty Girl and found that she did a "Life List" and it totally inspired me. Although she has chosen many things I would not choose myself, it made me think about the things I would really want to do before I leave this planet. There are so many that I think this could really span several blog entries. For tonight, I decided to just do 20 and see where that takes me. I hope this inspires to not only write your list but also achieve the things on your list. Let's all live while we are here.

1. Learn to speak Spanish fluently

2. Learn to play an instrument well (I like guitar, drums, piano)

3. Watch the 1001 movies that I should see before I die from the aptly named book.

4. Read the 1001 books that I should read before I die from list on the internet (I have read a ton of these)

5. Learn to ballroom dance

6. Get to my goal weight and stay there.

7. Fall in love with exercise

8. Learn a new recipe every month of my life.

9. Own a home that I truly love.

10. Own a Ford Mustang (brand new) and do with it what I want.

11. Visit all 50 states and see the things that are truly remarkable in each.

12. Go to Vegas every six months of my life and stand where I married my husband.

13. Write a devotional for therapists

14. Write a novel

15. Visit Italy and France and enjoy the awesome food and sights.

16. Scrapbook my niece and nephew's life until they are 18 and give them books on their 18th birthdays.

17. Play softball on a league again.

18. Buy a dress I love myself in and go out on the town with my hubby in it.

19. Wear a bikini and look great in it.

20. Try 100 new foods.

That is it for tonight but I know there are millions where those came from. I love the idea of a life list. It makes me want to get up tomorrow and start on it! :)