Friday, March 26, 2010

Shots, Shots, Shots...and I don't mean Jello

Lately my whole life has revolved around shots. I have pretty much had enough of feeling ill all of the time so I have decided to be angry about having diabetes but to just do what I have to do. I saw my doctor the other day and basically we are trying to get my diabetic regimen down since we have been off for so long. We lost our health insurance with Anthony's job so now we are paying out of pocket. For a bit, it was $600/month for all of the meds and supplies that I require. Now, we have it brought down to about $300/month or so. This was with the help of the doctor changing things, the pharmacy giving me discounts, and just working with what I have.

All of that is the logistics of this but there is still the emotional component. I have NEVER been ok with having this illness. Being diagnosed at 16 was a hard thing for me and I just sat in denial for the longest time and then when I really realized that I did indeed have it, I decided I was too pissed to actually do anything about it. Just recently I have come to the conclusion that I am almost 30 years old and being a big baby and it doesn't matter if I want to take care of it, if I believe that I have it, or whatever...I will die if I am not medicated. Guess this growing up stuff is hard.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Appreciating friends who get you.

Last night I got to spend about 3 hours with one of my best friends in the world. This is priceless whenever it gets to happen but for some reason it was especially priceless to me this time. It seems like for a long time I haven't really found friends who actually get me. I mean, they care about me, love me, laugh at my jokes, and spend time with me but they don't "Get" me. Josh gets me. He not only laughs at my jokes but appreciates my sense of humor for what it is, being able to get through life's difficulties with a minimum of scars.

He, in my opinion, is one of the few people in my life that truly experiences me the way that I know myself. Some people will tell me that I am "laid back" and I think "ya don't know me!" Some people will tell me I am "Proverbs excellent wife" and I scoff at that too because they don't see my house most days nor know that I fail at most of my "wifely duties" pretty much on the hour. Some people say I am "genuine" when I know that I care so much about what others think. Josh just kinda gets all of that about me and totally accepts me either way.

It is truly a treasure to have that kind of friendship and I just wanted to write about it to remind myself of how blessed I really am to have him, Anthony of course, and Nick...the men in my life who absolutely just GET Erica! :)

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Meeting him all over again

Today we went out to get Anthony some interview clothes. He had been working for AT&T for 3 years so his wardrobe included carpenter jeans, blue/Orange/White polo shirts, work boots and a baseball cap usually. I saw him like this about 6/7 days of the week. Today was a breath of fresh air. We went to this suit store and picked out some nice shirts, ties, and shoes and the other day we bought some new dress pants. He had an interview today and I gotta tell you, I was attracted all over again like it was new. I have always loved Anthony and always will but there is something for feeling that attraction come back more like the first couple of weeks of dating.

He is a handsome man and I am so lucky to have him. Pictures to follow! :)

one potato, two potato

**Disclaimer: As all of you probably know, there is not a racist bone in my body, however, if taken in an offensive manner this post could seem like a racist rant. It is NOT a racist rant but rather a rant about things that are not logical. I hope that you find comic relief in it and do not feel the least bit offended as it really is not about race whatsoever***

So I have a gripe to make. I am going to tell you a story about what happened to me and Anthony the other day when visiting a popular fast food restaurant in hopes of getting a quick lunch before heading to work. Here goes.

We walk into the restaurant which we will name "Cindy's" for the purposes of this blog. I really wanted to go there because they serve baked potatoes and that is my favorite way to eat a potato. I fully intended to purchase a value meal and trade out the fries for a baked potato and get it the way I wanted. I figure, I pay extra for all of these choices so it won't be hard to order this. Here is the run down of what happened.

Cashier (Spanish Speaking): Can I help you?

Erica looks at Anthony: Are you ready to order?

Anthony: Yeah, go ahead

Erica: Ok, I will have a #3 with a baked potato. I would like to have butter, sour cream, bacon, and cheese on that potato and could you please give me extra of all of that. (Extra toppings) I'll have a sprite with my meal as well.

Anthony: I will have a crispy chicken sandwich, fries, and a sprite also.

Cashier: Ok, $15.76

Erica gets into purse thinking of how crazy prices are when you order something special.

(Wait for order)

Cashier: Here (places two bags on the counter.

Anthony peers into first bag and Erica grabs second bag to check the order. (She has a feeling)

Erica: There are two baked potatoes in here?!

Cashier: Yes

Erica: There should only be one...and there seems to be only chives on one of them and only bacon and cheese on the other.

Cashier: Yes

Erica: No, I ordered one baked potato with butter, sour cream, bacon and cheese with extra toppings.

Cashier: Is in bag.

Erica looks in bag again to see two containers of butter and two of sour cream.

Erica: Ok, yes I see the butter and sour cream but there is no extra cheese and bacon and there are two potatoes and not one.

Cashier: Yes

Erica: There should only be one.

Cashier: Other one, in bag

Erica: I know but there should only be one and extra bacon and cheese.

Cashier: Yes

Erica is starting to get visibly irritated.

Erica: Here (takes baked potato out that only has chives on it) I do not need this one. Did you charge me for two.

Cashier: Yes.

Erica: Ok, well I only wanted ONE so I need my money back for this one.

Cashier: Yes

Erica: Thanks

Cashier returns potato and gives Erica back money that he owes her.

Erica: Ok, now I need extra bacon and cheese

Cashier: Yes (does not move)

Erica: OH FORGET IT (leaves restaurant feeling homicidal)

OK, now here is the thing. I don't mind people living in this country through means of immigration. I don't care who takes my order at "Cindy's." I don't care if people speak Spanish in their homes with their families but for goodness sakes...if you work for "Cindy's" know how to say the English words that are on YOUR MENU. I am so tired of having to be bilingual to order a burger. This is so illogical and quite tiring also. I appreciate all cultures but ordering burger and fries should not require me knowing Spanish when I live in America and our #1 language is English!

SIGH....anyone feel me out there?!!!

Lent update

Well I am officially half way through lent and it has gone great. There have been numerous opportunities to be tested and see what God would do through this time. For example, Anthony and I went out to dinner to celebrate an accomplishment of mine and sure enough, the waitress felt it was necessary to bring me a free hot fudge sundae to celebrate. I lovingly gave it to the hubby and remembered what Jesus did on the cross for me.

We went out of town for a few days the other day and went to a location that sells chocolate, chocolate, I bought some and popped it into the fridge and promised myself not to touch it until April 1st when lent is over. So far, so good. Also, our girl scout cookies arrived and the only ones I eat are thin mints so there they our freezer waiting on me.

God has really been changing my heart on a lot of matters and helping me with one specific area that has been control issues. Thank you Jesus for helping me on this journey with no chocolate.