Thursday, September 29, 2005

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

Hello lovely blogging public. Today is a great day..not because I have had some enormous financial blessing, not because of some great thing I have received but something even bigger to me. There is peace that passes my understanding today regarding my life and future. I am happy to be alive and even happier to know my Lord and Savior. I realized today that my first instinct has become to seek His face on matters that confuse me. My first instinct is to ask Him to remove confusion, anxiety, worry, and bad thoughts. I am growing more in Him and that excites me.

I also have great news regarding Christopher. His blood work came back today and he is NOT diabetic. I couldn't be happier for him, his parents, and myself. Now, you will find out that this was a learning experience for me...which I will talk about a little later! Christopher was very scared that he would be told he had diabetes and for that matter, so was I. I prayed about it of course asking God to make the verdict No but I also prayed that Chris' heart would be prepared either way. I remember when I was diagnosed and how difficult that process was and is still today.

You may ask what I learned through this, and I'll tell you and be completely honest. When I became diabetic (or at least found out), I was only 16 years old. I was very rebellious in nature and continued to be until ...well..let's be honest, TODAY! Yesterday when Chris came home from school we still didn't know if he was diabetic or not. He then told me that he had eaten pizza at school and SODA. That is a big diabetic no-no. I was livid. I began to explain to him the severity of putting sugary soda into your body IF you are diabetic. He was stunned at my great concern and completely apologized about it and I quickly forget his disobedience and began to think of my own.

For the last 9 years of knowing I am a diabetic, I have been the worst diabetic anyone has ever seen. I have continued eating whatever I want most times. I did give up soda immediately and never went back but that is the only area of diabetes I have been completely obedient in. I am ashamed to say this as my body is the temple of the H0ly Spirit and me hurting myself is hurting God and those that love me. I was really mad at myself for not understanding the magnitude of this disease and how badly I treat my body. I am hoping that this was the wake-up call I need to start ACTING like...not just being..a diabetic.

Thank you all for your prayers for Chistopher. We are surely turning this blessing back to PRAISE! Things are good and I continue to seek God on the many things I find confusion in. I am working this week on Grad School, weight loss, and mostly finding how to get closer to my Father in Heaven! I hope you are all well and please contact me if we haven't talked recently. I love you all to pieces!


Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Happy Birthday to my Toots and other matters...

19 years ago, God blessed me beyond measure. He brought a little girl into my life who was to forever be my best friend. She was not my best friend at first but the dreaded little sister who took my spot as baby! I had been the baby for 6 whole years and I wasn't giving up without a fight. We had many years of being distant to say the least. Then, one awful July day I learned that I would never again take her for granted. She was there for me in one of my darkest moments and was my confidant for days and weeks after and eventually became my best friend today and forever. Today is my little sister Britt's 19th birthday and I am so happy that I was blessed to be able to have HER as a sister! Happy Birthday Toots!

Last night, one of my favorite boys in the world had a great victory for himself and I wanted to acknowledge that too. Josh McCall, one of the best men to ever walk this planet (Hambone) scored his first college goal in soccer! WOW! I am so proud of you Josh and I am amazed at the man that you are and continue to be! It's great being triplets with you and toots!

I wanted to also ask for prayer for Christopher today. We had some blood work done on Friday of last week and today it came back that he had a high blood sugar and this creates room to believe he might be a diabetic. To all of you who just gasped, I know! We are going tomorrow morning to get him tested with a fasting blood sugar in order to determine whether he is or not. Please pray he isn't. From someone who understands, I would hate that for Christopher.

In other news, my friend Heather B. is getting married this saturday! I am so excited for her and I can't imagine how her last week of being single is affecting her. It must be crazy! My friend Jarrid got married this past Saturday and since he is on his honeymoon, I haven't heard from him but I am sure it went wonderfully!

Life with me is going well. My therapist and I have decided that it's time to get back in the ring and start fighting for what I want again. This means continued closeness to God, weight loss, and a career in psychology. Weight loss and Psychology have recently taken a back seat to a greater battle but I think it's time to get back in the game and really work hard. I would appreciate your prayers for strength, endurance, and time management.

My jobs are going wonderfully, spiritual life is growing, friends are great, and family is getting better. Please pray for Britt as she has decided she wants to make Vanguard her home next year! WOO HOO..GO LIONS!

Anyway, have a great week and thank you for stopping in and caring about my life. If you have anything I could pray about, email me at anytime!

God bless you all!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

The journey is long and hard but so rewarding.

Hello everyone. I haven't written for a while so I thought today would be a great day to do an update. Life has been interesting for the last couple of weeks. First of all, I would really appreciate your prayers for two families. The first family are my neighbors and their names are the Chaumburgs. One of the family members (Gary) actually took his own life on Thursday of last week and I really would just like to continue praying for the family in this devestating time. Also if you could all lift up a family from back home (Indiana) that would be great also. Their names are the Ozechowski's. This is a family I have known since I was about 12 years old. They actually attend my church back home. Michele (the wife) passed away on Tuesday of this week. I am not sure the facts yet so I don't know what kind of situation we are looking at but it doesn't look good as she was facing some serious problems. Mostly lift up her husband John and her daughter (3 years old) Autumn to the Lord and just pray that they are taken care of right now.

Things in my life are a bit mixed and complicated but I am pushing through. Overall it's been a month since I decided to rededicate my life to the Lord and get serious about obedience. I put one huge sin to the front of my mind and started fighting it the way I had never tried before. That is complete dependence upon God. I have since learned amazing lessons about really depending on God and the peace that it brings. When I was trying to fight this sin on my own, I was exhausted and completely unable. Since I took my hands off of it, it hasn't been easy but it has been peaceful as I wait on the Lord for my strength.

Things are going pretty well and I am working hard on some things while taking a distinct break from others. I have been exhausted with a few tasks in my life for some time and haven't allowed myself adequate rest. Now is the time to focus on the important tasks and leave the others to the Lord while doing as He pleases. Below are updates on all of the facets of my life and I hope you use my stories to help you get closer to your Father in Heaven.

Spiritually: I am still going strong in my spiritual disciplines by attending both Rock Harbor and Newport Mesa weekly. I am involved in children's ministries at both churches. I do Rock Harbor on Tuesday mornings for the Nurture ministry and then Newport Mesa on Sunday mornings during the 11:00 service. I have joined a small group in Huntington Beach and starting this Friday we will be meeting every week to discuss spiritual disciplines. I will write more about this once it actually starts up tomorrow. I am also starting a class at Newport Mesa on Sunday nights starting in October. It is a class called "Change Your Life" and is geared toward a book by Becky Tirabassi. I am also meeting with a friend every Tuesday night for accountability time. That has proven to be a very growing time for me. Overall, I am learning that intimacy with my father happens in all of these situations; my alone time with Him, my ministry opportunities, and where I am being discipled as well. My battle against my major sin that I have been writing about has been going great. I have had a few setbacks but overall I am really coming against it. Please continue to pray for my spiritual growth.

Health: I would love to report that things have changed drastically in this area but they just haven't. I haven't lost any more weight and really haven't been great with eating and/or exercise. I have worked out here and there and certainly don't binge eat anymore but I am still running to food in emotional highs and lows as well as with boredom. Diabetes seems to be doing well. I haven't had any kidney problems since May so that is a very positive thing. I just recently got over a cold and I have been just exhausted since that. I am really hoping it's not mono or something so please keep me in prayer for a complete healing. I would also appreciate prayers for strength so I can get back on my weight loss plan. I have rested from this facet of my life for a bit to give myself some time to get used to my new life with God. It's time to get back to work.

Job/Career: My job with Christopher is going well. Chris seems to be doing a lot better in school except for a few disciplinary problems here and there. We are trying to get a perfect dose down for his medication and really learn organization skills. I have been really enforcing organization because that is the key to Christopher being successful. He is working hard at Karate and Piano. He really enjoys both and excels at them. He should be testing for his Blue belt soon in Karate so keep him in your prayers. Miss Hannah does a great job with him in piano and he nevers gives me any problems with practicing. My main focus right now is giving 110% of me into this job so that I am impacting Christopher in every way and also impacting Richard at the same time.

My new job at Rock Harbor is really cool. I haven't had time to really write about it but I work for the Nurture Ministry on Tuesday mornings. I basically maintain the "big kids" classroom while the women are in the nurture meeting. Nurture is a place for moms to get together and encourage one another and just be renewed every week. I have the privelage of keeping their children (ages 3-5) and teaching them about Jesus, playing with them, etc.. and it's blessing my heart. I have learned so much just in the two weeks of doing this awesome job.

My upcoming job at Vanguard is getting exciting for me. I am returning to my beloved O. Cope Budge Library just temporarily from the months of October--December (possibly January) and will be working in the department of circulation. All of you probably know that I spent my two years at Vanguard working there and loved it and all of the people involved. It will be good to be back in that environment just for a bit. I start on Oct 8th so please keep praying for me.

My plans to attend Grad School are still really a big goal for me. I would really like to be in Grad School by Fall 2006. I have to be honest, I have taken a break from this preparation as well. I am nervous about it and really feel led to take breaks here and there and just trust God. I am applying to several schools and also having to take the GRE and all of these things are supremely expensive and overwhelming. I would appreciate all prayers that you could direct my way for these awesome challenges.

Friends: My friends are all doing great and it's great to see them growing and changing into the men and women that they need to be. I don't share anything personal on here about them but defintely want to share in their celebrations and prayer requests if possible....

Josh: Has a game tonight for the Vanguard Lions Soccer team and another one on Saturday at home. Please call me if you want to go on Saturday and watch my boy play some serious defense! Josh is in his senior year at Vanguard and seeking God's direction in every area of his life. Please keep him in your prayers and also pray for the soccer team as there are many on there who don't know the Lord.

Joel: Joel is seeking the right job schedule and working on Grad School as well. Seems to be doing great and is totally being shaped and molded. It's great to see this! Just pray for direction for him through Grad School and getting the right jobs going.

Heather: Heather was baptized two weeks ago at Corona Del Mar and rededicated her life the week prior to that. Please continue to pray for Heather as she starts her life over for God and seeks direction and wisdom through it. Also, keep her family in prayer as they have had a few battles lately to and finances.

Hannah: Doing great and is growing by leaps and bounds. Keep her and Aaron in your prayers for direction (Aaron is her boyfriend)

Carrie: Please pray for Carrie and her family (Paul, Hailey, and Riley) as they face a potential danger in their environment. Also, please pray for her family as they have recently gone through a death and several of them need God in a real way. Also Hailey has started preschool (awwwww...) and she needs your prayers for continued growth and love of school. Riley is getting so big and eating everything in sight (ha ha)

Jarrid: Jarrid gets married to Sarah this weekend. I am so freaked out that he will be married. Please pray for provision and health in the marriage as well as a great wedding day.

Heather B.: Will be getting married next weekend to Jason. Pray that all things come together and for their peace and joy on their wedding day. Also, obviously...just a healthy happy marriage.

Pam: Received her Masters in Library Science and is currently seeking a librarian position. Keep praying that one opens up for her!

Nick: My friend Nick just got home from serving in the U.S. Marines in Iraq a few weeks ago. He has a new baby, Calvin Michael Pridemore, and is able to spend time with his family...(Merry his wife and Calvin). Please just praise God for his safe return and pray for little Calvin as he starts his life.

Romance: HA HA HA ...maybe I shouldn't laugh but this is an area that God will have to own because I want no part of it anymore. I am doing fine and growing content with being alone and it's really great. I am to the point where if the man isn't God's best for me...I would prefer not to know him. I know that sounds harsh but after a few heartbreaks ...I am over it!

Family: My family are doing ok. My mom and dad seem to be doing alright but could use your prayers in their jobs and satisfaction in them. My sisters (Hilliary and Tasha) I have no clue but Britt is in her freshman year of college and is planning to transfer after this year. She is considering Vanguard so please pray because I want her to do what's great for her but I am pretty happy with the idea of her being close to me! She is thinking of a career in music education, ministry, etc... She basically isn't happy unless music is in her life is some way. She also has been leading worship at her church youth group so pray for her in that area.

Well, I guess that's the update for now. Sorry it's been a while but things have been busy and hectic. I appreciate your reading today and I am so happy you stopped in. Much love to all of you and please let me know how I can pray!


Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Growing so much.

Well, I am just stopping in to do a little update for those of you who keep track of me via blog. I started a new job today at Rock Harbor where I am teaching little ones about Jesus while their mommys are in a Nurture meeting. I am excited that I got hired to do this and it was such an amazing blessing. It is precious to have those little ones around so much. They are ages cute! Anyway, God is really opening up doors for growth for me and teaching me new skills, ideas, and really pushing me to the next level. Keep praying if you don't mind...I still have a little cold and really could use some healing in my body and heart.

I hope you are all well and God is moving in your lives.


Saturday, September 10, 2005

Grrrrr say the lions!

I just wanted to stop in and post tonight and say Congratulations to my Vanguard Lions! Josh McCall (my best guy-friend) and the rest of the men's soccer team defeated Chapman tonight at home! It was great and Josh had a few nice saves! It is always good to see a victory for the Lions. GRRRRR Hambone (my affectionate nickname for Josh)


Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Really Trusting God

Trust is a tricky word. It is used so often that I think we often lose sight of it's meaning. One of Webster's definitions of trust is "Total confidence in the integrity, ability, and good character of another." All of the definitions after that one basically play on the same ideas. Today I was considering trust in God. I am going through a situation in my life where trust is so important. I have to trust that God is going to provide the things that I need and comfort and protect my heart through this. I can't go into great detail but just know that when you pray for God to help you trust him, he's going to give you ways to see his follow-through.

I was thinking about this today. If I ask God to help me trust him with my whole life, he is going to have to show me things that look hopeless and then come through with a vengence. Yes, I think that is God's character. I have been through enough hopeless situations in my life to know by now that God is trustworthy, yet it is still a hard area for me. The situation I am facing right now is a situation of the heart. I feel like I am in for a huge heart-break really soon and I have to trust that God knows what He is doing and has my best interest at heart.

As I think about this today, I realize that this is the closest I have ever been to my God. I have never been able to really ride out a storm with him but only pretend to. I am in a place of complete surrender to Him and I know that He is with me and for me. I am trusting Him, for the first time.

Today I could use your prayers for my heart and my strength. I am very weary from a rough battle and I could use some rest. I also am beginning to get sick with a sore throat and possibly a cold so if you could just pray for healing, I would appreciate that. I wanted to take a moment to thank a friend too, Heather, you have been really changing lately and I am happy to see God's work in you. Thank you for allowing Him to work towards the healing of me through you! I am grateful!

Well everyone, have a great day and trust Him, because we can stand confident in his integrity, ability, and good character! God bless you all!


Saturday, September 03, 2005

Waves of Mercy

Have you ever felt like you are literally swimming in God's mercy? I sure do today. I have been completely helped and blessed for two whole weeks today. I gave up a huge sin in my life 2 weeks ago and it has changed me seriously. I feel waves of God's mercy and grace and forgiveness. It is truly amazing and I am excited.

Last night I did the unthinkable. Many of you know that I have serious difficulties in developing strong healthy female relationships. Most of my dear friends over the years have been male. In saying that, I decided to step out in faith and attend a "girls night out" at my church last night. It was very good for me and completely faced several of my fears head on. I was able to connect with a few women and get their information in order to "hang out" sometime. I also felt led to ask one of the older women than myself to pray for me and with me about my sin life.

I confessed my sin to her and just allowed her to speak into my life in every way possible. I was open to hear and knew God was there with us. I was truly blessed by the prayer and felt God's provision in it. This event strengthened my heart and life and completely brought me to a new place of femininity.

Many prayers lately have also been answered which is great and I can see God working in my friends, family, and others. Tomorrow is my first day in Children's ministry and I am very excited to see where God takes that. I am also getting excited for my small group game night on Friday, my women's luncheon on Saturday, and my accountability dinner with a GIRL friend on Tuesday. I have many growing opportunities coming up and I would encourage you to stop in and see where God is taking me.

I wanted to take a moment and congratulate Vanguard University Men's Soccer Team for a win last night at Biola! Great job guys! My favorite boy...Josh...plays on the team so I am very happy about this. Also if you could say a prayer..they play again tonight! Also, please be in prayer for my little sister's step-mom Cathy. She has been very ill and needs healing! Thanks everyone and hope that your weekend is blessed


Thursday, September 01, 2005

It is getting harder.

Hello everyone. I hope all is well in your neck of the woods. Things here are going pretty well. My sin-issue is getting harder as the days progress but I am learning to stand on scripture, prayer, and the help and support of my team of great people. I write emails, make calls, and pray all day in support of me getting through this and becoming the woman I need to be. I guess I will start by giving you a quick update on me.

Things are about the same in my life. I am working on preparing for Grad School and getting applications filled out. I have just started the research portion of this and am setting up appointments with directors, campus tours, and class visits. That should be interesting as God makes it clear where I will be going. I am also preparing for the GRE still and need prayers for the actual testing and financial part of that.

Health wise I am not doing so well. I have not been very faithful in my eating or exercise plan. It's so hard to fix these old habits for me and I am seriously frustrated with it. I would also appreciate prayers in this area of my life as I really want to lose these excess pounds. I long for the desire to come back to work out and eat well. I am so focused right now on my more serious problems that I am weary and it's hard to work on a million things at once.

My social calendar is filling up with church activities and ways to meet great new people. This Friday I am going to a girls night out event and Saturday and Sunday are filled with church activities and renewing experiences. I am excited because my small group starts soon and so do the classes for women at my church. There are so many great things to look forward to. I also started (this week) an accountability dinner every tuesday night with a friend. It was great and I can see us both growing through it.

The title today is "It is getting harder" because my sin life is getting harder. It has been almost 2 weeks since I have been involved in this sin life at all or even close and it's so hard for me. I am to the point where it's rearing its ugly head and asking me to come back. Please pray with me that I will stay grounded in the Word and prayer so that I can withstand the pressure.

I love you all and thank you for reading and for your prayers