Saturday, March 18, 2006

The nations capital brings me R & R..sorta

Hey everyone. I hope that this Saturday finds you feeling wonderful and experiencing joy in your life. I am in such a weird place in my life right now. I feel completely motivated yet frustrated. I feel driven, yet terrified. I feel accomplished, yet lost. I am always kind of balanced between these two extremes but not this week...I am one or the other.

The title of today's blog is due to Richard and Chris going to Washington D.C. this week. They left this evening and they are not coming back until the end of the week. This means that I am "off work" for the week. There is a plus side to this and a very negative side. The plus side is that I have time to get MY life together and do projects that get pushed to the back because of work. The negative side is that I am going to lose a great deal of money. Money is not something I am able to lose right now due to the horrible debt that I have gotten myself into.

I am frustrated beyond my limits and really distracted by anxiety and fear. Some days I wonder when my life will ever have an easy place in it. I wonder when I will have a day of happiness or joy or even reprieve from the daily worries. I am worried that if I don't get responsible and take care of things NOW..I won't have a chance to redeem myself

The next week is going to be dedicated to ME!!! I am going to work on my finances, health, organization, and money making strategies. I am going to have to commit to myself for a while! Please pray..I am at my wits end


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