Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Ending 2009...

I just did an update on our "Lewis Family Blog" so I thought it was time to revisit my blog and write again. This is something I have kept since 2004 and lately I haven't given it much attention. Losing little Jamie really affected me and made me sort of disconnect from the outside world for a bit. Not in the literal sense as I still hang out with friends, work, and go out in the public but my blog has always been really personal and honest and that has seemed very difficult.

Today's post is going to address some changes that I want to make in my 30th year here on Earth. In August of 2010 I will turn 30 years old. Although I have no problem with that and view aging as a change to get more mature, wise, and even happier...I also view it as a milestone that deserves some serious attention as well.

I am not really looking at these things as "resolutions" although I am making them at the end of a calendar year and they are things to better me as a person or things I would like to give more of myself to. In saying that, I have always made resolutions and I usually shoot for the stars and make 50 to 100 a year. I usually meet about 25% of my resolutions and have always felt good about that. I think that they are things to give you focus and direction and they should last past february.

Here is the beginning of my "Focus list" and the reasons that I want to consider these. It will be a place to be accountable through the year to and may give some motivation to others who stumble upon this post.

--Spiritual Life: Maintain my relationship with God above all other relationships.

This is such an important one to me now that I am an adult. I have been a Christian for approximately 15 years now and I have always taken God very seriously however I have fumbled around at different times with different issues just as everyone who walks with Christ does. The goal this year isn't to read through the bible or pray 30 minutes a day but to be intimate with my God entirely and to stay consistent to my walk with him. Always paying attention to how I love others, give to others, or behave in situations that are not easy. Although bible reading, prayer, church attendance, service, etc... are hugely important disciplines...there is a greater discipline of love that I hope to work on this year in depth. While working on that love I will of course be focused on the word of God, prayer,etc... because only by pursuing WHO God is..can I be like HIM!

Marriage Relationship: Making my relationship with Anthony my FIRST ministry and FIRST job!

For so many years I cried and whined and begged God to bring my husband to me. Some of those years I was engaged to someone that was not good for me at all and I prayed that God would bring me someone who was compassionate, loving, attentive, sweet, strong, protective, good looking, hard working, naturely selfless, etc... and God delivered on every single prayer of my heart. He gave me the most wonderful husband that could ever be chosen for me. He was tailor made for me and I for him. God is so amazing for doing that and sometimes I take that gift for granted. This year I want to learn to talk sweeter to Anthony, treat Anthony with respect every single moment I talk with him, lift him up and help him in every way I know how, and to love him with such ferocity that he is awed by my level of love. I love to see my husband smile and I love the closeness that we share and every day that i am alive I want to bring that smile and closeness to a higher level...or die trying!

Personal Health: Being the best me possible physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, & socially

I have never been good at this. Over the years I have noticed that the women in my family DO NOT take care of themselves. Whether it be that they give and give and give and never take any time for themselves or whether it be that they carry around bitterness and anxiety instead of choosing forgiveness and peace...or whether they are simply overworked and underappreciated, they just don't care for themselves. I have been really led this year to change that about my family. I don't want my daughter to ever think it's ok to not get normal doctor check ups, eat correctly, or even to take a break in the day to catch her breath and enjoy life. My job this year is to change that about myself and therefore change the whole system of my family. This will occur by getting all appropriate check ups, focusing on health and weight loss, getting diabetes completely under control, listening to the physicians about the proper time to have children, Taking time each day to unravel and care for myself if only for 30 minutes a day, talking things out with friends and colleagues, getting appropriate supervision with clients and not "taking things home" and allowing intimacy to continue to develop in friendships and my marriage to be able to grow from these relationships even as I give.

This post is going to be an ongoing post until New Years day as I build on the things I want to work on. These were the ones weighing heavy on my mind today. 2010 is going to be the best year ever!!! :)

1 comment:

Terra said...

So glad to see you back on your blog! I missed you! Toby & I are also starting 2010 with a renewed focus on our health. We did this last yr & did real well until we had to think about moving & then we let it all go.

This time we have agreed to not focus so much on the # on the scale, but to focus on exercising, eating healthier, & setting better examples for Liv. And also to learn to cope with challenges in life without eating our way through them.

Maybe we can encourage each other! Good Luck!