Determined.

Today something just came out in me. I normally really struggle with motivation, confidence, and even drive. Most people wouldn't think that of me because of the things I have done in my life but EVERY single step has required me to be extremely hard on myself and fight my most basic instincts. I am tired of that. There is this part of me inside that really doesn't believe I can do anything so I fight against it with everything in me and try to be the person I want to be instead of the one I truly am. I don't like this about myself and have decided to be absolutely different from here on out.

The last few months I have been absolutely determined to accept diabetes and have taken care of myself in the best manner I ever have. That was a huge step. The one today was something altogether different. I LOVE being a therapist and it was my all time goal and dream. I also have these other goals and passions for my life. I want to be a mom. That requires me to be much healthier so I have to be serious about losing weight and getting healthy. I want to be a writer. That means I have to spend time learning ways to use my writing style to be a published writer. I want to learn how to speak Spanish and play guitar. That means I have to discipline myself to practice both things. Mostly, I want to absolutely embrace the fact that I am a woman and want to use my creativity to help me advance in life.

I decided I wanted to go into business for myself in an area that I am interested in. I love decorating my house and believe it is the little touches that make it comfortable, romantic, and HOME. So, I decided the business for me is Party Lite Candles. I want to work with surrounding vendors in all areas of merchandise for woman such as jewelry, cosmetics, hobbies, fashion, whatever and have fun while making money for our goals of having children, a home, etc...I have all kinds of ideas and dreams and I couldn't be more excited to start working on this goal.

I also really want to become an advocate for the cure and treatment of diabetes. Today I signed up for my 3rd walk for diabetes and identified myself as a RED STRIDER which means a walker that is battling the disease themselves. I have pledged to raise $2,000 for the American Diabetes Association and I am pumped to do it. The walk is on October 9, 2010 at Knott's Berry Farm and I am going to form a team and walk for the cure! Team Sweet "E" :)

I would ask all of you that read the blog to consider sponsoring me (even if it's only $10) or if you are in the Southern California area, consider walking on my team and fundraising. I am asking that each person on my team raise only $100. Also, if you are in the southern California area, if you want to host a wonderful candle party that will be absolutely fantastic and get you loads of money in free product...I want to do that too! :)

Again, these things came to me today and I feel just led to get things taken care of. I want to get out of debt, stop being overweight and unhealthy, and change my life and discipline level. I think everyone can relate to that!

I hope everyone else is feeling inspired today!