Saturday, November 05, 2011

Finding a new place in life

We moved to Indiana over 2 months ago now and we are settling in nicely. I am learning that I am in a different place in my life right now. For the last, oh let's say 13 years I have been all about my career for the most part in finishing my Bachelor's degree, my Masters Degree, getting hours for a license as a Marriage/Family Therapist, and beyond. When we decided to leave California, I just assumed that I would continue to be consumed with my career, just in a different zip code. That could not be further from the truth. My whole heart has changed since moving here. Maybe this is what God had in mind?

This is not to say that I still don't have passions/dreams/goals for my career. It just seems like the importance they used to hold is not quite there right now. I have been having a really hard 2 years in dealing with the loss of our child and thinking about when I would like to proceed in trying to have another baby. I have NEVER came to a place where I felt like I was completely ready and would go forward. I am still not there to be honest, but I am way further than I was in California. I am at least focused on my health here and doing the right thing by my body to prepare for having another child.

The doctor and I have agreed entirely on the plan and I am moving toward those goals that we have set out. I am still working in the meantime by tutoring, coaching, and pursuing my associates number here to finish hours for Indiana licensure but it just isn't the thing at the forefront of my mind. I think daily about what it takes to be a good parent. I think about what it means to take care of yourself and really get your body in a good place to not only carry a child but raise one. I think about my marriage and how I could be a better wife each day. My priorities seem to have shifted and in my opinion, are beginning to be clear and in order.

I am getting so excited for our first holidays in Indiana. We are hosting Thanksgiving at our house so it should be a blast. I love to entertain. I am also having a big birthday bash for Anthony in December for his 31st! These kinds of things are really making me happy in the midst of a very uncertain and waiting time. I am enjoying being around my family and seeing my nieces and nephew so much. It is such a blessing to be able to watch their daily lives and growth. I do miss California in some ways but to be honest, mostly the people I left there and not the state itself. I feel so much more peaceful here and my blood pressure has come down to normal on a daily basis. That can't be a coincidence!

Anthony and I both feel happier, more well rested, and less stressed than we have for the last 5 years! I am hoping that my blog will also be something I now have time for as it has always been a great friend to me.

I hope you are all well and check back in often for updates! Happy Thanksgiving in advance!

2 comments:

Cindy said...

That is all beautiful..so happy you are settling in and finding whats the most important in your life :) .. You will be a great mom, so I hope you will feel like your ready again one day..being around the neices and nephew will help you I am sure..Have a great thanksgiving and Christams with your family :)
xxxxx
Cindy

Cindy said...

That is all beautiful..so happy you are settling in and finding whats the most important in your life :) .. You will be a great mom, so I hope you will feel like your ready again one day..being around the neices and nephew will help you I am sure..Have a great thanksgiving and Christams with your family :)
xxxxx