Sunday, June 24, 2007

Refocusing the fights

Have you ever bickered with the ones you love incessantly and wondered what that was about just to find out you were really the cause? I am one of those people that usually can admit I am wrong once I am shown and then gradually accept it on my own after analyzing it to death. Anthony and I were bickering quite a bit for a while and I don't mean about anything serious, just little stuff. It was getting very annoying and I kept wondering why it was happening. I finally looked into myself and realized I was causing most if not all of it. He never said that and still takes his 50% of the blame but I know who it was no matter how much he tries to console me. What I was doing was kind of pushing his buttons a lot of the time and being naggy. That being said, I wasn't doing it consciously nor on purpose. I love that man to death but I was just working my old habits. They sure do die hard don't they. I am having to re-evaluate who I am and what kinds of things I really want to happen in my relationship. It's a hard place to be. Realizing that you are the cause of something that annoys you to death is humbling but at least I had the power to change it.

It's been about 2 weeks of knowing this and changing myself and get this, no arguments..not even one. That is pretty clear to me. I hate being a nag but I was a nag for 6 years of another relationship and have grown up with my own whole family of nags so I came by it honestly. Now it's my job to stop it and just be happy where we are and realize that people have different personalities, neatness factors, hobbies, interests, and desires in life. I love this man and I am willing to meet him half way instead of always getting my way in the relationship.

Things have been going pretty well this weekend. On Friday I really didn't do much but play video games with Anthony and head to bed early because I am beat from a week of getting up early and going to bed late due to work. On Saturday I went out with a friend to Target and got some lunch at one of my favorite spots, Boudin. They have this fantastic sour dough San Fransisco bread and it's to die for. I had a Turkey and Cranberry on Sourdough and one of their phenomenal lemon squares. I then headed out to pick up Anthony from work and we had dinner together and talked about some exciting Birthday!!!!

That's right, in less than 2 months I will be 27 years old and celebrating this year's Ericapalooza. My gift from Anthony is that my lovely sisters; Hilliary and Brittany are coming out to visit California for 6 days. They are going to be attending my birthday party, going to Hollywood, Vegas, and Disneyland with me, and being able to see my life out here. Britt has been here before but she is ready for another visit. Anthony is sparing no expense for the sisters to have a good time togehter and really enjoy the time we have. He is an amazing man and I am so lucky to have him.

In other news, in my quest to change habits and do things I really want to do in life, I am heading to the Getty Museum next weekend. I am going by myself on Sunday I think to see all of the awesome exhibits and check something off my WANT TO DO list. This week starts the trek to fitness also because tomorrow is Anthony and my 1 year anniversary which means presumably only about a year until we are getting married. This means I need to get in dress shape and be serious about fitness so that we can start our family safely and healthfully. Tomorrow I will be working on changing eating habits, exercise habits, and well-being tasks. On Tuesday I will be attending a diabetic education meeting which is awesome because it will give me the opportunity to work on this goal in the realm of my disease.

Today's plans are to go to premarital counseling which has been going very well and we are excited about it. We are also probably going to catch a movie because it's Anthony's day off and he really enjoys cinematic enjoyment. I am not such a movie buff but I have a couple of days off a week to enjoy my own interests. We will probably do something like play a game or go out to do something as well. We try to live up our 24 hours together when he works so much right now. We are praising God for the work though because it allows my sisters to visit, us to go to Indiana in Sept, and us to plan for our future.

Well here are tomorrow's goals so that I can try to stay on track in some way. Only 5 of them so it's doable. Have a lovely new week.

Goals for Monday:

1. No fast food
2. At least 30 minutes of Cardio/30 minutes of weight training
3. Get through my major to do list for the day.
4. Therapy
5. Clean up my room and get it organized.

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