Monday, February 01, 2010

Enjoying life regardless

Yes, it is post #499! I am so excited that the next post I write will be 500 posts. What a benchmark for having a blog for a LONG time. It feels good to be back writing on a consistent basis. Today I am writing about something I am learning to do...enjoy life regardless what is going on in it.

This morning I was reminded that this life is full of struggles, pain, and heartache but it really is about how we take it that makes all of the difference. My life over the past 29+ years has been full of tough stuff (losing those I love tragically, illness, family issues, etc...) and from what I can tell makes so much difference in what you believe about life. Me, I believe life is to be enjoyed. Not only have I found that various places in scripture but it just doesn't seem worth all of the pain and suffering that we choose to put ourselves through.

Lately I have been taking opportunities to really enjoy life. I was doing a lot of worrying recently due to our financial status as well as Anthony's job seeming to always be in peril, my need to build a caseload, my diabetes being an issue, losing the baby, family having problems in various areas, etc.. and it was taking over my life. I would wake up just wishing to go back to sleep instead of having to face the day and it's issues. That my friends is called depression. I do NOT want to live my life is in this state of mind.

So here is the decision I made. I will not stop grieving what hurts. I will not act as if everything is peachy when it isn't but I will completely realize that everything that is bad is usually followed by a hundred things that are absolute blessings in life. Examples....

We never have enough money for everything we should have money for.....but I have a husband who works so hard and loves me every single day. I have all the love anyone could want.

I lost my first child in a very traumatic miscarriage ....but I have the ability to get pregnant and there is no permanent damage to me and I had the beautiful experience of being pregnant where as some do not have that ability.

I have diabetes and my whole life revolves around it...but I am alive and have lived through years of not taking care of myself properly. I have gotten 2nd, 3rd, and even 100th chances. :)

There are a million of these things I could do with every complaint I come up with. Again, I think it's so important to be honest about your feelings and truly grieve things but once you have done that...pick yourself up and realize that this life happens enjoy every second of it that you can.

Also, the main thing I am learning is not to let these seemingly huge issues really steal the joy of life and the things that mean the, family, and passions/dreams. I am not going to let it steal mine. I hope you don't either.

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