Thursday, September 29, 2005

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

Hello lovely blogging public. Today is a great day..not because I have had some enormous financial blessing, not because of some great thing I have received but something even bigger to me. There is peace that passes my understanding today regarding my life and future. I am happy to be alive and even happier to know my Lord and Savior. I realized today that my first instinct has become to seek His face on matters that confuse me. My first instinct is to ask Him to remove confusion, anxiety, worry, and bad thoughts. I am growing more in Him and that excites me.

I also have great news regarding Christopher. His blood work came back today and he is NOT diabetic. I couldn't be happier for him, his parents, and myself. Now, you will find out that this was a learning experience for me...which I will talk about a little later! Christopher was very scared that he would be told he had diabetes and for that matter, so was I. I prayed about it of course asking God to make the verdict No but I also prayed that Chris' heart would be prepared either way. I remember when I was diagnosed and how difficult that process was and is still today.

You may ask what I learned through this, and I'll tell you and be completely honest. When I became diabetic (or at least found out), I was only 16 years old. I was very rebellious in nature and continued to be until ...well..let's be honest, TODAY! Yesterday when Chris came home from school we still didn't know if he was diabetic or not. He then told me that he had eaten pizza at school and SODA. That is a big diabetic no-no. I was livid. I began to explain to him the severity of putting sugary soda into your body IF you are diabetic. He was stunned at my great concern and completely apologized about it and I quickly forget his disobedience and began to think of my own.

For the last 9 years of knowing I am a diabetic, I have been the worst diabetic anyone has ever seen. I have continued eating whatever I want most times. I did give up soda immediately and never went back but that is the only area of diabetes I have been completely obedient in. I am ashamed to say this as my body is the temple of the H0ly Spirit and me hurting myself is hurting God and those that love me. I was really mad at myself for not understanding the magnitude of this disease and how badly I treat my body. I am hoping that this was the wake-up call I need to start ACTING like...not just being..a diabetic.

Thank you all for your prayers for Chistopher. We are surely turning this blessing back to PRAISE! Things are good and I continue to seek God on the many things I find confusion in. I am working this week on Grad School, weight loss, and mostly finding how to get closer to my Father in Heaven! I hope you are all well and please contact me if we haven't talked recently. I love you all to pieces!


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