Friday, June 25, 2010

Pants on the Ground

So last night was date night. Every Thursday night Anthony and I venture out to spend time away from our house doing things that we enjoy. Granted, since he has been unemployed, it has been much more cheap outings and less wine and dine. Last night we went to grab a quick bite to eat and headed to Huntington Beach to take a walk on the beach at night. It was a lovely evening and really nice outside as we strolled down the sand. We decided after a while on the sand to head up to the pier and walk down and back before going home. It was about 10:30 pm by this time.

We were about half way down Huntington Beach Pier when I decided to lean against the railing on the side and look out onto the dark pacific. I always feel really small by the ocean and to be honest, there is a fear in my gut sometimes at how large it really is and how dark it is at night. I still just love the beach and would rather be there than anywhere in California. I noticed when we walked up to the railing that there was a couple about 2 benches down from where we were standing and they were very close together and appeared to be making out. I made that my cue to stop paying attention and focus on my date, the lovely Mr. Lewis.

We stood there talking and looking at the ocean when Anthony said stealthily "Erica, do you see that those people are going to have sex on the pier?" I thought certainly he is overreacting but looked anyway because let's be would. I looked over and the girl appeared to be unbuttoning and unzipping the man's pants. His pants were already riding low on his waist and I quickly turned away and said "Oh my goodness, I think they are!" It was like that moment when you really feel sick to your stomach about the car accident or fight happening but you just have to look because it's our human nature. I looked, and looked again. Each time I did, his pants were coming further off and she seemed to be helping.

Eventually I stopped looking because even from about 50 feet away I could tell that he was completely uncovered in his unmentionables! All of the sudden, they start to come towards us. I thought to myself "Oh no they aren't...we aren't interested!" but they kept walking with his pants clearly down. I then noticed that the girl who was involved was extremely annoyed and yelling at the man to "hurry up before someone calls the cops!" They weren't having sex after all..this man was absolutely ridiculously drunk and showing his penis to the entire world. I looked behind me because I heard the commotion and sure enough, I got a glimpse of everything that guy owned. Based on what I was forced to view, this really should be a SHORTER story if you know what I mean.

So, they kept walking and the girl who was about 5 foot and 100 lbs soaking wet was trying to hold this guy up who was probably the better part of 6 foot and at least 190. She was rolling her eyes and trying to coax him into not only stopping the indecent exposure but walking to a place where he could get home. Right at that exact moment,I heard a sickening thud. The man fell with his pants down face first onto the concrete. OUCH! Part of me wanted to laugh very hard because I figure...he had it coming for making me take part of that tiny debacle and the other part of me felt really sorry for this girl. I started to laugh as soon as they got out of my view and earshot and Anthony and I both started singing "Pants on the ground, Pants on the ground..looking like a fool with your pants on the ground."

Anthony and I both felt very sad for that girl and all I could say was "I would totally break up with him tomorrow." This, first of all, added some spice to our Thursday but also made me very sad to realize that not everyone has a decent, loving, and classy man like mine and the world is really all about excess including myself. I am just glad that chocolate doesn't make you expose your genitals or I would be in trouble!

Never a dull night in California!

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