Saturday, December 03, 2011


Lately I have noticed a really ugly trend among people that I know. Since this is "The United RANTS of Erica," here I go. I have noticed lately that a lot of people I know really wish things were always handed to them and to go beyond wishing that, they also EXPECT it. I mean, if I am going to be real, I would really like it if I did not have to work to pay my bills, did not have to clean the dishes to eat off of them, did not have to wash my clothes to have something to wear, did not have to shop to have groceries fill up my pantry and fridge, and did not have to work to have a happy marriage. Everyone wishes these things, but the facts are....we have to do them or we do without those things.

On top of that, some of us have things that are even harder to cope with. For me, a diagnosis of diabetes so that means to even breathe, I have to stick myself with a needle 5 times a day and stick my fingers just as much! For others, infertility where the time to "try" to have a child is not even close to their biggest issue. They have to fight to try to make a baby with a person they love. Others have the issue of not having the legal right to marry the person they love and care for. These are things that a lot of us take for granted.

I am talking about the people today that literally think that everything should be handed to them on a silver platter and everything should be easy or they quit. Just like with my last few posts, there is not a person in particular I am speaking about but a vast amount of people. Just a good example from someone I do not know in the least....

I was in Wal-mart yesterday because here in the Midwest, that is what we do with our free time. I was going in to grab a few items I had great coupons for. Just a plug, got 10 Oral B dental flosses for like $2.00 :) So, I was standing in the oral hygiene aisle minding my own couponing business and trying to make sure I had all of my ducks in a row when a lady interrupted me and said this. "I don't mean to bother you or interrupt your shopping, but I see you have a binder full of coupons. Where do you find your coupons?" This was an innocent enough question and although I really like my alone time in couponing, I decided to answer. I told her that I get all of my coupons either online, through products and services, or in the Sunday Paper. She then extended her questioning to ask how I get things so cheaply, how do you get overage back, and yadda yadda yadda. I spent the better part of 20 minutes teaching this woman how to coupon when she then responds to me by saying "That is too much work. I would rather just pay high prices" and then she began to rant about how she could not afford groceries or hygiene items because they are too expensive.

Now, I am not a perfect person who never complains about the price of gas or thinks that the price of those french fried onion things are too much for what my husband calls "Onion dust" but...come on people!!! First of all, she felt that she was entitled to ask me a billion questions and then speak of what I do as if it was a waste of time...yet...she also wanted to complain about the price of items she buys everyday. If you don't like something, do something about it. I do couponing because I don't like paying $3.00 for hand soap. I clip a few coupons, read a blog or two and I pay pennies on that $3.00.

Here is another part of this entitlement issue. The facts are, I am happily married. Because I am happily married, I hear a lot of bitterness. I hear people say things like this to me "Must be nice to be married to Mr. Perfect" or "Must be nice to have a husband that does and says nice things." I get so annoyed by these phrases that I just want to yell "IT SURE IS!" Now, if you are one of these people who has bitterness in your heart for how you have been treated by a man or if you are still looking for Mr. Right and it is hard to be happy for others, I need you to hear something. I need you to hear this....I work hard to be happily married. I think of my husband before I think of myself. I pray for him daily. We pray together. We have arguments and disagreements but we fight hard to be kind and respectful to each other in the midst of them. I have been through heartbreak before meeting Anthony too and I made decisions that were difficult to get to him.

I still have to wash dishes and clean up his socks and underwear off of the floor. It is still marriage and marriage is difficult when it is easy. I will be the first one to say that my husband is soooo easy to love. However, I get some credit for this because I did not choose to marry someone that I didn't know, didn't respect, and who was a complete idiot. I dated Anthony, I got to know him, I sorted through his assorted issues joined with mine and decided to vow forever. Every single day of marriage is work. Granted, it is work that I love doing but before you say something starting with the phrase "It must be nice...." realize that I put myself in a position to be successful in marriage. I chose a respectful, honest, caring person and I bust my backside to treat him right as he does me. We can all fail...we can all succeed. I should say, this is obviously not pertaining to situations involving abuse...that is the abusers fault...100%!!!

Now onto it is plain and simple. You don't work, you don't eat. There are very few situations in life that are not a decision or choice. Those things are abuse, disease, etc...Some things just happen to you and then the choice comes with how you deal with them. As for this topic, it makes absolutely no sense to me to sit and complain about not having money or not having security or items if you choose not to work. I realize that some do not choose unemployment. Some can't find suitable jobs and some are disabled. These are not the people I am talking about. We all choose a certain path in life. Some of us get out of high school and go straight into a job that makes us enough to survive and we are fine with that. Some of us choose to be stay at home moms and dads and some of us go the college route and choose to be career minded and put the building of family second.

These choices all culminate into how your life works out. If you make a choice, own it. If you choose to stay home and not work, you choose to have that amount of money less. I am not speaking about one income families here...I am speaking of no income families. If you choose to have X amount of children, you choose those diapers, meals, toys, dr visits, etc... I see nothing wrong with the choices people make for themselves, I think I am just sick of people thinking that they can make a choice and have the benefits of making a different choice. I hope I am making myself clear on what I am actually ranting about here. Here is a really simple life example:

If you choose to use Colgate toothpaste and the box says the benefits are Whiter Teeth and Less Tartar, don't get mad because you didn't get the benefits of stronger enamel that the Crest is supposed to give you! If you wanted those benefits, BUY THE CREST!!!!

That is a really simple way to say, when you want need to go and get it. It isn't someone else's job to swallow your pill to make your cholesterol go down. It isn't someone else's job to do your homework for your college education. I think it is high time that we as humans begin to take ownership of the choices we make every single day and the choices we don't make.

I did not choose to go to med school, therefore I don't make doctor money. I choose to spend time on coupons, therefore I save money. I choose to work my butt off every day of the week, therefore my bills get paid on time. They might be just on time, but they are paid. This message is not for those of you out there that try your hardest and still meet bad times. It is about the entitled, the spoiled, the rotten, the bitter. For some reason, this has been on my heart.

I should shut up now.


1 comment:

Dez said...

I never get tired of reading your amazing work. Rant away, dear lady.