Thursday, September 09, 2004

authentic and happy

Happy Thursday everyone. Today is a day of realizing things that I really needed to realize. Lately I have been on a quest to completely renew myself and work on things that aren't quite up to par. The huge thing that goes on in me is that I am not always authentic with people. I try to be what people want me to be instead of who I am and in turn, that's lying. I am really trying to work on that right now and seriously, I am happy doing this. I like who I am. I like that I am strong and funny and mostly, caring. I have found that is my favorite quality about myself, I really do care about others. I think that a lot of times I just need to focus on who I really am and stop caring if people like the fake me or not.

Work is going really well. I am physically exhausted from the new schedule but I know I'll get used to it after a few weeks. Until then, I think I'll just eat well and try to get enough sleep. Chris went for his first Karate lesson last night and really loved it. He had a lot of fun because he loves anything that is terribly violent. ha ha Richmond is going really well also. There are a ton of things for me to learn and do and I really like to learn new things. I love working for Gary, he's a great guy and very patient with my lack of knowledge in Home loans. It's going to be something I am glad that I spent time on.

The plans are right now to work on my application to grad school and keep praying about that. I am not sure where God is going to lead me with two jobs and grad school so we'll see. Also, I am attending a class voluntarily at the time just for the information. It's informative and I think I have learned a little that I hadn't the first time taking it. I am still working really hard on losing weight. I have started to incorporate a nightly run/walk at Balboa Island. It's my relaxing get away time. I really love getting all of my endorphins flowing and trying to lose weight at the same time. Last week I weighed in at 226 so I am hoping for a loss this week as well.

Healing is slowly mine from the big break up. I still have my days but I am working on getting over the things I did to cause it and the things that were done to me. I just want to be ok and healed and forgiveness to be at the head of things. I am also working on healing in other areas and guarding my heart in my new interest. I am making Jesus first and that's been a long time coming. I try to spend my time with God in the morning before work even starts (before I wake Chris up) and just step out on the right foot.

Everything is going rather well and busy. Please keep praying for me that I make it with finances as I was out of work for a week and 1/2. I also need prayers about grad school and healing and of course my future. Thanks for stopping by everyone and I love you all dearly! ~Shalom~

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