Tuesday, November 02, 2004

No Settling!

God is so amazing I cannot even begin to tell you. He is doing this amazing transformation in me as most of my posts are telling about. Tonight I went out running and it was magnificent. I ran a little more than I am used to and my heart was pounding so hard. I love the feeling of my feet hitting the pavement and pushing myself just a little harder each day. It's a very hard task for me as I have been over 200 lbs overweight for a long time. Since I have lost the 112 lbs I have learned that exercise is not the enemy but one of my best friends. I wish the rest of the weight was already off but I am patiently just sticking to the plan and hoping all will pan out.

The subject tonight is No Settling because I am finally to this point. In my life I have been one to settle for what is good for the moment. I have been known to settle on very stupid matters like a pair of shoes that are on sale although they aren't my favorite to something as huge as who I date. Today I realized that God has brought me to the point where I won't settle not even for convenience or comfort.

This specific post is having to do with dating. As you all know, I got out of a very long relationship in February of this year. I love Adolfo very much and will not use this forum to destroy or hurt him in any way. I left the relationship because we were both settling for having someone around to love and we cared very much for each other. Unforunately we both tore each other up daily through our actions because we did not match. We really did settle because we were physically attracted to each other, cared very much for each other, and had the longevity factor going for us.

Today I am one of those people that would honestly rather be alone than settle for less than God's best. I know that there are things I can't do without in a man. I know I can't settle for less than some of these things. I am not trying to say that if a man isn't exactly 5 foot 10 I won't date him but rather some pretty huge factors are being considered for once. I thought I would list my top ten on here to show you what I mean. Here are my 10 can't do without things that I will not date anyone without!

1. Must be a Christian and live that life
2. Must be willing to wait for sex until marriage
3. Must be passionate about something in life
4. Must have his own friends and go out with them also
5. Must be able to tell me NO
6. Must have a high self-esteem and care for himself greatly
7. Must care about his physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health
8. Must be a gentleman
9. Must have a sense of humor
10. Must be able to enjoy himself in a variety of ways

These things are crucial for me in any upcoming relationship and if they aren't there, neither am I. I think I have the right to stand up for what I really want or just be alone. I long for a certain relationship and I refuse to stand anywhere but where I need to in them. I am tired of being the "boss", tired of dealing with no passion, and mostly tired of people who say they are one thing and act like another. I want a man after God's own heart and that is bottom line. I know that right now I am experiencing love in my heart but I am praying that God will refine that love and clarify it for me. Too many people forget what they want ...really want..when a warm body comes around.

Please pray that God will keep me focused on not settling for anyhing but his best in all aspects of my life. Thank you all and have a great night ~Shalom~ *Happy Election Day*

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