Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Nothing but a baby!

Today I realized I am nothing but a baby! I am not insulting myself with this matter but rather realizing a few things. This morning Richard and I were discussing some things that have been happening in my life and how I am feeling about it. Richard asked me a simple question. "Erica, what do babies need?" My answer was multifaceted first picking apart a baby's physical needs like food, water, shelter, warmth etc.. This obviously wasn't the answer he was hoping for. I also added in things like attachment and physical touch since I learned that from Developmental Psychology. We began to discuss that really I am just a 24 year old baby and I am not having my needs met. He really feels I need to start being specific about my needs to safe people. I have taken much time to realize what safe people look like and how hard it is to get to where you can ask for what you need.

I gave much thought to what Richard brought to my attention. I went back downstairs to my room and turned on my taped episode of Dr. Phil from Monday. It was about Adoption. That is kind of weird seeing that Richard and I had just talked about babies and their needs so I watched in hopes of learning some sort of lesson. The main premise of the show was that people were in search of children that they could give a great life to, in search of a couple to take their baby that they could not care for, or in search of help from Dr. Phil in how to love and provide for their adopted child's needs.

I watched in discomfort at the agony that people felt in searching for their match in this grueling process and thought about why some people give their children up for adoption. I think giving a child up for adoption is a very selfless thing to do. I think it takes much courage to admit your weakness and your inablity to provide for that child. I began to think back on my conversation with Richard immediately about my "needs." I think it's going to take much maturity for me to realize that I can't meet my own needs all of the time. I need someone to adopt me and help me meet those needs or to be honest, this baby is going to die or be very unhealthy. Gosh, it's funny how Dr. Phil and Richard have meetings about me or something! :) Just playing...I know this is something I need to think about.

I thought I would share this with you today and see if you think you are getting properly cared for and if not, reach out and get adopted. Have a beautiful Wednesday and God bless you all!


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