Father of the Year.

Well, we are fast approaching good old Father's Day. It is this sunday for those of you who need to run out to get a card. I think a lot around this time of year because this is a sore spot in my spirit. Let me tell you a quick story before I start this post. My mother and father were only married for 7 years total to each other. They divorced when I was only a year and a 1/2 old after what I believe to be abuse, infidelity, and completely destroying of each other. It was not a match made in Heaven. While married they had two children together. The first was Hilliary in thier first year of marriage. Hilliary suffered through the entire duration of their marriage. In 1980, I was born and they divorced less than 2 years later. My dad's role in my life was less than fatherly. He wasn't really around much at all. I would see him maybe twice a year and that would be a lot. Eventually I didn't see him at all but only a card in the mail with a check in it on my birthday and Christmas. I didn't even call to say thank you because well..I wasn't grateful.

I did not respect, honor, or even like my own father. I still struggle with this today. My dad and I had a discussion when I was 21 and struggling through a very hard time in my life where everything I felt about him pretty much exploded and I let it out. We started to have a "relationship" from that day on and have been trying to have one since. I am now turning 25 in just a few months and I still don't feel like I have a father. I know that my dad is there and we email each other and I call once every 6 months or so. I am frustrated daily by our lack of communication and lack of connection even more so. I am fed up to be honest. So that's the story behind the biological father.

Now, let me bring you some happy news. My real father wasn't my father at all. He was my grandfather. My mom's dad (Poppy) is the best man I ever knew growing up. He had his faults and we all know them, but overall he was an amazing man. He was a very successful business man who was completely honest in his business endeavors. He was kind, compassionate, loving, generous, and absolutely hilarious to me! He protected me when the world walked out on me. He made me feel wanted in a family that made me feel less. I am so grateful to his influence in my life today and how it has made me into a woman I can be proud of. I am lucky to have had poppy and all of his love! I miss him so much as I lost him 5 years ago in April. I was devestated but I have learned something through my grief. People will live forever if you love them forever! I miss him so much but everyday I live to make him proud.

Even more happy news is that I have a Heavenly Father that I absolutely adore that absolutely adores me. Any father that comes to this Earth as a human is going to be less than what a little girl needs because he is human. The amazing thing is....there is a father who is gentle, wise, loving, stern, jealous, compassionate, amazing, all powerful, glorious, etc...and that is Jesus Christ my Lord, Savior, and true eternal Father! I want to take this time to say Happy Father's Day to not only my imperfect biological father, my wonderful Grandpa who isn't here anymore but mostly to my Heavenly Father. I love you Lord and you are absolutely amazing to me! Thank you for being my father when I had none!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today, appreciate what you have and give your Father in Heaven all the glory! Happy Father's Day to the Fathers who read my blog. Nick, you're almost there buddy! Congratulations on the new beautiful boy on the way! I love you all! Here is a song to remind all you daddy's out there....

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
and she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on the steps with my heart in my hand
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too

Ooh, you see that skin
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too

Boys you can break
You find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong and boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from a woman's good, good heart

On behalf of every man, looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too

Have a beautiful Father's Day Weekend!

~Erica~