Saturday, June 25, 2005

Therapy continues to shape me.

Happy Saturday everyone and welcome to a huge day for me of starting over and remembering who God is in my life. I am ready to put these last 100 lbs behind me and get done with this weight loss battle. I am ready to accept that my family is unhealthy and move on. I am ready to accept that I don't have a companion and I will if I allow God to move in my life. I am ready to accept that I need to love the right way and stop being manipulative and manipulated. I am ready to be Erica...at her best!

Today I went to therapy and we talked about the things I like about me and my counter thoughts and where those thoughts come from. I have a hard time with comparing myself to others because it's happened my whole life. My grandmother started it with comparing me to my sisters and cousin and another part of my family continues it today. With the separation that I have currently made with my family, I am ready to heal and start comparing myself..to myself. A year ago, I wasn't even 1/2 the woman I am today. I was selfish, manipulative, abusive to others and myself, and completely lost in my thought life. Today, I am working hard on all of these things and becoming the woman God wants me to be.

This weeks assignment is to really work on tearing down the thoughts in my head that keep me from being successful in my life and goals. I am going to do this by disliking the behaviors that have hurt me and realizing where those thoughts come from instead of internalizing them and believing they are real. We are all aware that as Christians, we have an enemy lurking around and ready to pounce on our biggest weaknesses and I sense his presence daily right now and I have to be ready to defend myself and attack what he is throwing!

For those of you who read my blog to know what's going on in my life and to pray..here are my top concerns today:

1. Eating..I have to eat right this week and exercise. I really want to lose this weight
2. GRE: I need prayers for preparation, financial registration, and the days of testing. There are two portions..the general portion and the psychology portion.
3. Grad School: I need prayers for application completion, picking the right school/program, financial provision in applying and going, and a lap top to be able to do my work.
4. Mental health: that God will continue to show me areas that I can work on and how to do it. Therapy with Sandra and how that is going to come together.
5. My little sister who is currently working on a weight loss battle of her own and will be visiting in August.
6. My trip to Colorado (leaving July 13th and returning July 19th)

Have a great day everyone and thank you so much for your prayers. I appreciate all of them!

~Erica~

1 comment:

charity said...

Good work, Erica. I didn't know that about you... you wrote about a lot of negativity and positivity. It was great. A mix between both, but stating that you are not going to let the negativity run your life. That's the only way to go... acceptance--not denial, and move forward. Thank you for sharing! And, is there a way that I can notify people when I post my own? Do my "friend users" become "notified" or you just have to frequently check back? Thank you so much for your comments... you're adorable, great, and just sweet. :) You're right about the flowers... friends who know you need something even when we are not aware ourselves. To notice and recognize, and take action! :)