Monday, June 06, 2005

I need narration!

This morning I dropped Christopher off at school a little early and came back home to my comfy lavendar pajama pants and blankets. My goal was to sleep a few more hours since I didn't get home until late. This weekend was rather eventful as I met some new people, did some fun things, and spent time with a dear friend. On Friday, Heather Short asked me if I would like to go to the airport with her to pick up her friends from England. I was game so we went up to meet the boys. James and Carl are really nice guys that she met from England. They were really great and I ended up spending my entire weekend with Heather and them.

On Saturday we ended up spending the evening at downtown disney and then Sunday we went to Vegas. Overall, it was an eventful, exhausting weekend but it was fun. Vegas required a lot of walking so I got a good start on getting back into exercising. James and Carl were way fun and they were a joy to know. It was a good weekend but I was thinking this morning as I tried to get back to sleep so I could recuperate. I was thinking about how great things are usually narrated.

Narration is that voice that tells you what is going on. It really reminds me of the new television drama "Desperate Housewives." I really like this show and through it a woman narrates what is going on on Wisteria Lane. I would really love for my life to be narrated. I know that sounds ridiculous and it's most likely just the rantings of me on the cusp of sleeping but I thought about the spiritual implications of narration.

I think my life truly has a narrator. I think God is my personal narrator. I think he is always watching and commenting on my life. I am starting to be able to hear his voice on things that really matter and hopefully will continue to gain my hearing of him. I thought of this, this morning because I got in really late and I only got about 6 hours of sleep when I woke up this morning. I knew I was not feeling well when I got up and knew it was lack of sleep and bodily exhaustion. I was parking my car in front of the house after dropping Christopher off and I heard God's voice (obviously not audibly but within me) saying "Will she listen to me and lay down on the bed and sleep for a few hours to gain her health back or will she get into her hampster wheel again and start to spin without any regards as to where she is going?" He knew that answer but he wanted to present the choices to me.

I heard his voice and I also realized that unless I got back into bed, I was not dealing with any of my boulders. I went into the house and did NOTHING before I got back into my pajamas, turned on the fan, and layed down. I set the alarm for a few hours and drifted into sleep-land. I was happy when I woke up at about 10:45 and I felt completely rested. I realize now that I need to listen to the narrator of my life and know how much HE loves me. I have to stop listening to the guilt messages of my family past and stop putting myself last. I am first today because God wants me to put myself first.

Right now, I am going to go downstairs and clean up the kitchen while I have some prayer time. I am also going to take my insulin injection. I want to thank all of you who are praying for me because everyday is truly an inpsiration and a chance for me to WIN! Later on today I am going to start my research and work on Grad school. I have so many goals and I know that these boulders can no longer get in my way. Thanks for stopping in today and I love you all dearly. Listen to your narrator!


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