Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Grab the statues, we are going on a trip!

I want to start off today's post with a little happy news and a congrats to a friend who I love dearly. Yesterday I heard the amazing news that my friend (and past co-worker) Heather Barrington is going to be Jason's wife this fall. Jason proposed on May 26th and they are getting married! How special is this? :) There are no words to convey how I feel about this other than Holy Crap and I am just so excited and happy for you two! Congrats to the newly engaged couple and bring on a wedding!

Today my title is a little strange but I promise I will make it completely make sense by the time I am done. There is a story in the Bible where Jacob and his wife, Rachel are heading to Canaan to reconcile with Esau and start on the plans God had for them there. Rachel was a believer in Jacob's God but even though that is true..she does something that I think we all tend to do and something I am doing on a regular basis. Before they head out on their trip, she grabs her father's household gods to take with them. This shows a huge lack of faith on Rachel's part. She figures if God doesn't come through, these little guys will handle the back up plan.

How often have you done just this? I will step out in honesty and tell you I do it over everything I pray about. This goes for any prayer that I utter with God. I tend to have a little back up plan in my head that will work out if God doesn't come through. Let me illustrate with a few examples from my own life.

There is a certain boy in my life who I really admire and cherish and would go so far as to say ..I am in love with him! I believe that God is the God of my heart and my life and will decide who I will marry and by all means ..should decide who I marry. God will have to perform a miracle for this man to ever want to marry me, however, I know God is a God of miracles! I say all that...and then in the back of my head, I have constructed a back up plan. In case God doesn't come through, I will wow this man with my genius, improving looks, and total and utter love for him. WRONG.

I have learned the hard way in life that you can't make anyone love you. You can make them do what you want, propose, buy you a ring, give you great gifts, speak the love languages, and such...but to make them love impossible. In saying this, you would think I would allow God to have the reigns and give up my back up plan to making my sweet boy fall in love with me. I haven't yet but today just might be the wake up call I need.

Another example is my financial life. I speak the language so well just like Rachel did. I pray about my bills, ask my friends to pray, pray over every expense and transaction, etc,...but do I honestly live allowing God to have my finances... Heck no I don't!

My pattern is that I go to work, make money, pray about it, and then worry until every bill is paid. Worry is a direct quote to God saying " I don't trust you at all!" Now, I am not saying I am wrong to pray about my finances or have others pray about my finances but when I am being a scavenger in my house to find items to pawn just in case God doesn't come through, that's not trusting my God! I am Rachel, picking up all of the household gods to take with me to Canaan.

Today, I read this story in the Bible and came to the realization that I didn't like Rachel's attitude. I was angry at her for not trusting God and her husband to get her to Canaan alright and take care of her once they were there. When I get angry at someone in the word of God, it's my first instinct to examine ERICA! I know that usually, I have that same attitude if I don't like it. I found that I am Rachel in so many aspects of my life. Today, I want to recognize that and start to give God the trust that he SO deserves. He has never let me down or let me go without. He will provide the man I am supposed to marry and it might not be my precious boy..but the man I will marry will indeed be the most precious man I have ever known! (Erica still stops to say..I hope)

Oh ye of little faith is actually a nickname God uses for me! :) Anyway, I hope this blog touched you today and made you examine your own back up plans. I love you all and if you know Heather and Jason, please extend your congratulations to them and rejoice with the angels today that are just so happy that they have found their matches. Please join with me in prayer for them....

Father God, you are so amazing to give Heather and Jason such wonderful spouses. We are so happy for them and know that you had your hand in all of this. Please take their hearts and prepare them for marriage. Take their wedding and let everything fall into place and let their day be so special. Prepare their hearts to join together as one and create a family that brings you glory. You are holy and wonderful and we thank you for the blessing of Heather and Jason. Thank you God for allowing me to share my life with Heather and now I get a new friend, in Jason. In your name--Amen

I love you both dearly and Happy Engagement!

Much love to all today!


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