Sunday, April 03, 2005

The best date all year

Good evening everyone. I hope your Sunday was as magnificent as mine. I had a beautiful day today. I opened my eyes today to the realization of how great God's love is for me. I got through a really hard temptation last night as well as learning what is good for me and what is bad for me. I am so proud of myself and can feel God's love surrounding me. I got out of bed and went upstairs to fix myself some breakfast. I made a scrambled egg and a slice a toast and drank 2 big glasses of water. I then got in the shower so I could get ready for church. Yes, you heard right, I went to church this morning.

I had a small prayer in my heart as I walked up to Rock Harbor that God would let me meet someone there that would be beneficial to me and that I could somehow get connected. It's hard when you start a new church and you really don't know anyone. After Praise and worship there was the part where you turn around and greet people around you. This is always awkward for me since I don't know ANYONE there. I was sitting by a girl named Stephanie and she greeted me and I greeted her and a few others. After service, which was wonderful, she stayed and started talking to me. It was so good to be able to talk to someone and try to get to know them. She promised me she would look out for me on Sundays so that I would feel at home. She was a sweet girl. That was the first cool part of the day.

After service, I had plans to go and grab groceries for two weeks. I like grocery shopping and the challenge it presents so I went and had an hour at Albertsons trying to find all of the right things for dinner these next two weeks. It was ok and I got out on budget (as I always do) and went home to put things away. I quickly put the items away because I had an afternoon date....with the most special person to me! :)

Yes, you guessed was date with Erica day! I try to schedule dates with myself every week where I go and do things alone that are good for me and interest me so I can grow to appreciate things about myself and view myself differently as someone worth my time. I have had to learn this year that solitude does not equal lonliness.

I had a really good time today on my date with myself. I went up to Hollywood to the Cemetary (Hollywood Forever) where the stars are buried. There are a number of big name stars up there like Rudolph Valentino, Dee Dee and Johnny Ramone, Mel Blanc, etc... It was a blast. I know that sounds morbid but there is something so tranquil and peaceful about the cemetary. I took a lunch up and just had lunch and walked around and took pictures and just enjoyed my afternoon. I also got about a 5-6 mile walk in today. It was just a beautiful day and it helped me spend time with me and enjoy the quirks in my that I am fascinated by cemetaries.

Of course, today's outing had me thinking. I think all the time and try to find ways to learn more everyday. Well, today I thought about death. Obviously that is what one thinks of when strolling around the dead. Mostly my thoughts came from being around Mel Blanc's stone. By the way, if you don't know who Mel Blanc is ...he is the voice of Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Porky Pig, etc... nicknamed "The man of 1,000 voices." This guy was and continues to be a HUGE star. Well, you wouldn't know it from looking at his stone. His stone is modest in size and is simple limestone. It has a star of David on it and has his nickname plus "That's all Folks." Modest, humble, and a little sad.

It made me come to a conclusion.... there is nothing that can buy your way out of death. I realize this is dismal and dark but seriously...we are never too rich to die. I realized that in death, all of us have the same standing. That made me have some new realization about self love. Sometimes in our lives (really all the time) we compare ourselves to others. Sometimes we compare ourselves to those around us like family members, parents, friends, church members, pastors, etc...and other times we try to compare ourselves to music legends, actresses, actors, body builders, models, etc... This is just a silly way to be in life. I realize we all do it and I have certainly been guilty of wanting a butt like J-lo's, a body like Janet Jackson's, a face like Halle Berry's, and the wit and humor of Meg Ryan. I realize that this is proposterous. God made me Erica. I have no idea how he decided on green eyes, brown hair (oh don't be knew it wasn't blonde), 5 foot 1, and the tendency to pack on pounds but he did. I need to not only accept that about myself but love it with all I have.

When it comes down to it, J-Lo and I won't have too different of an ending. We will both die and our bodies will either turn into ash or be returned to the ground. When it comes down to it, she has to meet the same maker as I do. She has to answer the same questions and stand there for her sins and receive her crowns. Looking at this, I realize how I need to stop comparing myself to others. I need to realize ...just like with Mel Blanc, when its done...."That's all folks!"

God really showed me my value today on our little date and I have decided to plan a date by myself every weekend now doing something I want to do or going somewhere I want to go. I am very excited about this and will keep you posted. I took pictures today also so I will write in here when they are posted on the web-page. It was an awesome day and an awesome date!

Learning April 2, 2005:

1. I do have power over food if I just take the doors God puts for me to flee from temptation

2. Sometimes we have to accept that some people never grow up.

3. Your real friends will pray with you whenever you need prayer.

4. Confronting your problems is always hard but always the right way to go.

5. Da Vinci Code is a very good book so far

Thankfulness April 2, 2005:

I am thankful for my victory over my craving last night for something sweet. I am so proud of myself and I am thankful to God for giving me the strength I needed and placing obstacles in my path of getting those goodies. God you are so good and you are always looking out for me. Help me as I go on my way to health. I love you Lord!


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