Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Don't let me get me!

Today I was driving to my blood tests and I heard the song "Don't let me get me" by Pink. I was thinking about this being the exact way that I am. I am my worst enemy at times. I am very sad that I keep hindering my own success in life by my very unhealthy thought life. I am amazed at how powerful my thoughts are and how they give birth to more crazy thoughts. I am feeling like I need to give up and just allow my mind to take over at times. I am tired of working so hard right now and I just need to breathe. I am exhausted by my own battle with eating and emotions.

I have really been dealing with acknowledgement and how my friends and family treat me lately. I have noticed that the things that I do at times go unnoticed and it's disheartening. I don't really want a parade every time I help someone but I do appreciate a thank you. I appreciate someone recognizing how much I need affirmation. I am feeling drained at times in certain relationships because it's a take and take relationship. I am sad about this and I came to the point of feeling like I will never be loved the way that I love!

I am sorry to put all this out here today but it's what I am feeling.

Learning April 19, 2005:

1. I am getting so much better diabetically!

2. Recovery is hard.

3. Growing pains are the worst.

4. I need to be acknowledged and loved.

5. I am thankful when people say thank you!

Thankfulness April 19, 2005:

I am thankful that today I was able to have blood work done for a very small price. I am thankful that I have a great job where I am supported. I am thankful for my heart healing although it hurts. I am thankful that God will always be with me!

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