Thursday, January 18, 2007

Feeling absolutely inadequate.

Have you ever had a day where you felt like you were not good at anything? I have been having that day. I had a giant problem with Chris today, fought with Anthony, didn't feel adequate at school, and haven't really had much fun looking in the mirror. When I got with Anthony I started getting myself together diabetically which meant going back on tons of insulin. This caused excessive weight gain immediately. Add to that, that I have become excedingly comfortable in my glorious relationship and you get Erica, gaining about 50 lbs. I am bummed about that.

We, meaning Anthony and myself, are going to get gym memberships in the next few weeks when some money comes through and I am excited about getting on my plan. I am going to see a fitness trainer for 5 hours of time and try to get a plan going on how to get myself fit. You noticed I didn't say skinny, I said fit. I really want to observe what fitness is and just get myself in shape. I need to come in terms with whatever body I might get out of it but I want to be fit and healthy!

I have to start giving more time to things so I can be good at some things instead of feeling inadequate. I am going to spend the rest of the night studying so this is me, signing off.


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