Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Are you speaking Hebrew?

This morning the funniest thing happened. Richard and I were going through our morning routine of me running around folding clothes, washing dishes, putting away things he left out, etc...while Richard was taking calls, getting dressed, rushing downstairs in just his boxers to throw a pair of pants in the dryer to dodge ironing and the list goes on..when the phone rang! He was running around like mad and missed the call. The answering machine picked it up so after they had time to leave their message, Richard went down and pressed the flashing button. Suddenly a voice on the other end says Richard, Shalom and then about 2 full minutes of fluent Hebrew ending with another Shalom. I was in my room folding and hanging up clothes when I started to listen to the message. Richard pressed the button again and listened intently while I started to laugh a little downstairs and secretly wonder..."Does Richard speak Hebrew?"

Richard then picked up the phone and called the number that was on the caller id display in order to see who this person was and why they would be calling him. He called the person back and the first words he said were "Do you speak English" and started to explain that he was Richard and someone had just called him from this number and he wanted to know who it was. I don't think they spoke any English and just said goodbye to him and hung up. He started back up the stairs when I spoke up and said "Was that Hebrew?" He said yes and we both started laughing hysterically. That is funny stuff, I don't care who you are. They even called him Richard on the answering machine before they started speaking Hebrew. I told him I wondered if he spoke Hebrew and he had forgotten to tell me. We both laughed the rest of our busy morning away before he left for work.

Well, you all know know I had to make this into a learning blog! Today I have been thinking about speaking different languages. Lately I have been going through a situation where someone and I are speaking completely different languages. This person is a very important part of my life in that they are immediately connected to me. We are not doing well in our relationship because we speak love and care much differently. Sometimes I would even say this person is neglecting me and has for years.

I took this problem to a few trusted people before deciding what it is I am going to do about it. I have not yet made a decision but I am certainly praying and thinking a lot. In saying that, today's blog is going to be about speaking different love languages. There was a book written in 1996 called "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to your Mate" by Gary Chapman. This specific situation obviously isn't about my mate but either way, people speak love in different ways. The 5 love languages are as follows:

  • Quality Time
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch

Each of these languages are important to speak in some respect in all relationships but everyone sort of leans to one more strongly than another. That being said, I am a person who likes all of these languages very much and receives them all with a smile. The only problem is, I lean especially toward Words of Affirmation. I like to give them and I certainly like to receive them. Well, there are people in my life who don't speak that language in the least. They don't use affirming words and when they do they are so masked behind sarcasm that you can't see them. In the same respect, there are others who use these very well and really are great at using them to me!

My problem recently is that I am struggling in a relationship because we speak completely different love languages and this person isn't willing to step across the miles and speak mine at all. I am feeling neglected and alienated and mostly rejected so this is painful for me. I thought of that this morning after the funny episode with the Hebrew because I thought about this person and how really for us, it's like someone speaking English to someone who only understands Hebrew. I don't understand the way this person shows love and I certainly don't know how to love them correctly. Isn't this frustrating?

I thought I would share that with you today hoping you would look around you and make a list of the people closest to you and then a list beside that of their love languages. If you don't know, find out! I would highly recommend this book also as it really opens up your eyes on how to tell what is going on inside of you and inside of your friends, mates, or family. It's imperative to read if you are married, if you ask me! And you didn't.

Here are my learning and thankfulness for yesterday:

Learning March 29, 2005:

1. I am very frustrated at this time in so many ways and it's really good to just get away at times and be alone.

2. Sometimes phone calls from people you care about can be more hurtful than not getting them.

3. Getting played is NO fun.

4. It hurts to miss people not that I just learned this but it was a feeling that was overwhelming today.

5. There is no supplement for good medication for an ADHD child.

Thankfulness March 29, 2005:

I am thankful that I was able to talk with a friend who for a minute made me feel better about myself. I am recently stopped dating and it hurts to think that noone really wants to be in a relationship with me at this time. This friend made me understand some of my attributes and what they make him feel like. I am so frustrated with my lot in life right now that it felt good to hear a few WORDS OF AFFIRMATION! I needed them because my love bank was empty!


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