Happy Wednesday everyone and I hope you are all doing well. I am utterly enjoying life and learning new lessons every single day about trusting God. I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday because I spent my entire afternoon off with Joel. You all know that is priceless to me but even more so as he is spending 11 days away in Costa Rica starting today. I went over and got to spend some much needed time with him and the kids and his grandma. It was so great for me and relaxing as usual. He makes me sane! :)
My title today is probably very confusing at first and doesn't seem to be profound like most of my witty bantor. Indeed it is deep though. This morning as I was teaching Christopher how to make scrambled eggs and put him in charge of finishing them up, I grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser and it had a quote on it and little sailboats and anchors. This is the quote on my Sparkle paper towels..."I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails in order to reach my destination." I thought that was really pretty profound for something that was going to clean up the egg that Christopher just spilled on the counter.
I thought about that as I finished up helping him with breakfast. By the way, he burned them a little but otherwise, they were tasty! This quote really struck a chord with me regarding my present life. I have thought about how my winds have been directed. I have had a pretty rough life for most of you that know my story. I will never claim it to be the roughest life or even close but it's not been a picnic all the time. Well, this paper towel inspired me this morning. It made me remember that God loves me so much and although the winds around me might be blowing in all directions, I have the power in God, to adjust my sails. Note to you...always pay for the expensive paper towels...they have bright people working on those! :)
As I sat thinking about this today and realized how important it is to really allow God to guide your life and sail your boat...so to speak, it was hard for me. I have always had an issue with control. I like to be in control of anything I can be. This goes for relationships, health, well-being, friendships, work, money, time, etc... I have learned in the past year that I cannot control everything...really...hardly anything. I can control only those things that God allows me to have. I have given him the rest of my life and prayed that he will guide me and direct me from here.
A lot of you know that I am in a place of limbo in a lot of areas of my life. This can be hard but in a sense it's really comforting. I am in a place where I don't know who I am going to marry, who will love me, who will be my friends, where I will live, what job I will have, what grad school to go to, how I will pay my bills, what church is home etc... This is a hard time and place for me to be as a control freak but I am willing to bet that it's exactly where God wants me in order to place control in his hands.
I am slowly becoming a woman who allows God to control her life...not a woman who likes to control others. I wanted to take the time today to share this sparkle nugget of truth with you but also to pat myself on the back. I am not bad about saying what is good about me because I love myself very much....but this is a huge one for me to give control completely to God and just trust! I would encourage the rest of you to live this kind of freedom. It's delightful. Well, here are my learning and thankfulness for the last few days. Enjoy!
Learning March 14, 2005:
1. It's really nice to contact family you haven't heard from in years and get caught up on their lives.
2. Prayer is so effective and I am seeing so many answers!
3. I am looking forward to time with friends this week (Heather and Joel)
4. It's ok to take a few days off from the big things in life like losing weight and stressing about goals.
5. Love is interesting and can seriously be quick and also very slow! God HELP ME!
Learning March 15, 2005:
1. Gavin has got to be the cutest, funniest kid that ever graced my life.
2. Watching a man fix a car is like gold to me.
3. Joel really cares about my future and challenges me to think things through.
4. A strut bar makes the car turn together instead of independently.
5. Joel looks so much like his dad but there are some things that just radiate from his grandma. I love him and his family!
Thankfulness March 14, 2005:
I am thankful that I have people in my life who speak truth. I hate when people just disappear and never come full circle with relationships. It's so hard to find people out there who are genuine, honest, and faithful so I am so lucky to have the friends that I have. They are precious to me!
Thankfulness March 15, 2005:
I am thankful for time with Joel and his family. I adore spending time with him and learning things about him. I had such a good time with him and it was more fun than I have had in a while. We don't have to do anything for me to enjoy myself. Time with him is so precious to me and I am super lucky to have him! Thanks for a great day Joel! :)
~Shalom~
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