Sunday, March 27, 2005

No shame or guilt

Last night I was thinking about something that was evoked through a conversation I was having with a friend and also with the fact I have been reading Atlas Shrugged this weekend like I was getting paid to do it! (You would really laugh if you had read the book right now) I was speaking with a friend who was going through a conflict with a member of their family and the conflict wasn't justified because it was a simple matter of someone making someone else feel guilty for nothing!

I will be less ambiguious and give you an example. Let's say for the sake of the blog that I was asked to babysit someone's child only 3 days a week and 5 hours a day equaling 15 hours a week. This requires me to care for the child completely for those 15 hours and I have no help and it's taking away from my usual schedule of life. They have agreed to pay me $40.00 a day (obviously $8.00/hr) *Don't worry, this is NOT a word problem* This couple are close friends of mine and their child is well behaved but either way an active 2 year old. I agree to take on the care of little churro *that's his hypothetical name*

In just 2 weeks of watching churro, they are slowly not paying me the normal $40.00 that they promised but rather paying me here and there and leaving me with churro for more than my allotted 5 hours a day. A classic case of being taken advantage of. I decide (because I am assertive and care about myself) to confront my friends and tell them that if they do not start paying me in full and on time and coming to get little churro when expected, I would have to ask them to have churro stay with someone else.

They get angry and say to me the unthinkable...." I thought you were our friend?" This is a sick way to treat your friend. I would like everyone reading this to take a look at this scenerio and think through it. Would you want to go to work everyday for 8 hours a day or whatever just to earn friendship? Would you like to go and labor at your parents house just to keep their love? Would you like to do your job daily just so your employers could feel cared for? I sure hope not..or you, my friend, are a sucker!

Working for money is NOT wrong! Working for living expenses is NOT wrong! Working for your daily necessities...NOT wrong! Working for a manicure...NOT wrong! I don't want to go through all of things that I think are not wrong to work for...but I will say this...working for someone's affection, love, respect, or otherwise is not ok and you don't have to do it. Family or not, these people are what Atlas Shrugged calls parasites and I think that's true!

We do not need to feel guilty for doing something and expecting compensation for it. I have been living my life this way for a while. Joel was the one who showed me that I really don't need to feel guilty for things that aren't my concern. He handed me a book about a year ago and said "Read this...I think you'll like it!" I wasn't sure what to think as the book was heavy and had 1,070 pages of actual text. I told him I would read it and took it home. I read a couple of chapters immediately but then let the book sit for a while. I knew if I read it, I would have to change the way I think and I wasn't sure how comfy I was with that.

I chose to finish it this weekend and I am 100 pages from the finish line. I took a break an hour ago to rest my eyes so here I am in front of the computer, go figure! I have read 200-300 pages at a time and learned so much that I literally took the book away from my face to say "Wow!" This book is obviously Atlas Shrugged and I highly recommend but it's not for the weak and if you are weak, you won't be after this book!

Saying this leads me to tell you this....Don't mold yourself to someone elses ideal of who you need to be. Be your ideal self and if you aren't doing things to become that...Stop what you are doing and start doing things to become that! Thanks for knowledge dear friends, each of you share with me daily!

Here are my learning and thankfulness for yesterday:

Learning March 26, 2005:

1. If you allow all of your senses to be somewhere and experience something, it's so much fun and relaxing.

2. Sometimes you have to live your fantasy!

3. If you are doing something and you are questioning your behavior...ask yourself "Does this get me closer to my goals?" If not...STOP!

4. Secrecy is like a bunch of termites getting into your house. If you see them and call an exterminator, you will save your house. If you don't, they will eat away what you own. Secrets are the same. If you get secrets out in the open, they have NO power. If you keep them locked away, they eat away your foundation.

5. Always take time to remember what you have, you will then realize that missing what you don' kinda silly!

Thankfulness March 26, 2005:

I am thankful for my friend Carrie back home. She is precious and we are able to share our hearts with each other at any time and pick up where we leave off. She is a beautiful person and great friend and I am SOOOO Lucky to have her. You are precious dear friend and I love you!


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