Monday, February 14, 2005

The first cut is the deepest!

Today is supposed to be a difficult day for me. Adolfo and I have been broken up for a year today. I left him in the darkness of his car after finding out he didn't do ANYTHING for me for Valentines Day last year. It was the last straw for me and I calmly took my engagement ring off, put it into his hand, and got out of the car and out of his life, forever! It was a hard moment and one I never thought I would have the strength for, but I did it! We were very unhappy for a long time and I am in a celebratory mood today in that I feel stronger than I ever have. I am supposed to be weeping and being sad but overall, I forgot until I was on my drive back from the gym and the song "The first cut is the deepest" by Sheryl Crowe came on the radio. I immediately thought of Adolfo and how that cut, is healing day by day! I am happy about this and so amazed at God's goodness.

Last night I had the coolest experience. Richard went yesterday to see his mom in Torrance and was gone until about 10 at night. When he came home, he had exciting news. He bought a brand new Porsche. It is magnificent. It goes 180 mph and it goes from 0 to 60 in only 3.5 seconds. It's absolutely amazing. It is a gorgeous vehicle also. He was very excited. Before anyone wonders...he didn't sell the escalade. He kept both! So anyway, Christopher went back to bad after the exciting news and we (Richard and I) went for a little spin in the new wheels. We got up to 100 mph and I was so excited. There is a natural high that happens when you go that fast. One of my friends would have totally enjoyed it! :) Overall, I am excited because at only 24 years old, I was able to cruise around in a brand new porsche. That is sweet! I live in the same house that it does :) ha ha ...ok you all know I am a car girl so this is the biggest news for a while.

Anyay, Happy Valentines Day to everyone out here reading this. I am not really observing the "holiday" in any special way. I love my friends and my family and that is all I am saying. I have one man in my heart romantically but many men (my boys) in my heart friendship wise. I thought today I would put some pictures in my blog to honor my best guy friends and let them know how much I love them! If there was any way that I could marry the perfect man...it would be a combination of you three. Here are my boys, below:






By the way, if you aren't aware (in order) that is Joel and me, Jarrid and me, and Josh and me! I love you boys!

Anyway, yesterday I ended up meeting all of my sub-goals and learned things I liked about me. I also started reading the book Jarrid got me for Christmas called "Christian Counseling" and it is going to be very interesting. I also read Matthew 2 in the gospels and I am trying to see the character of Jesus more completely. Here are my sub-goals for today and the status on them:

1. Pray at least 30 minutes and read one chapter of the gospels : Haven't done either of these things yet.

2. Journal things that I like about my mom: I am doing this one right after I blog.

3. Work out 45 minutes on treadmill and try something new at the gym: I went to the gym this morning and did my 45 minutes and I also did 2 miles on the stationary bike. I am trying to get more comfortable with the gym atmosphere.

4. Look into South Coast Children's Society and find out how to apply. Apply if able: Have not done yet but planning to do after journaling.

Anyway, things are really great here and I wanted to put a short note on here also thanking my friends for being there for V-day. I appreciate your heart and your love for me. I would not know what to do without all of you. Special love to Carrie! Thank you so much sweety!

Here are my learning and thankfulness for yesterday:

Learning February 13, 2005:

1. A porsche is a sweet ride and it's my ultimate car goal! :)

2. Richard deserves all of the luxuries that he has and I support him in that!

3. Christopher learned a big lesson yesterday and for that matter, so did I.

4. Everyday that I accomplish something, I feel better so goals are a good thing.

5. The value of naps can never be underestimated.

Thankfulness February 13. 2005:

I am thankful for a call I got yesterday morning before Joel left for Hawaii. I am thankful that he thought of me and gave me a call. I am thankful that he loves me and supports me in my life. I am thankful that I even get the privelage of sharing life with this beautiful man. I am thankful that he is getting to get away and enjoy Hawaii for a bit and enjoy his family. I am most thankful that God allowed me that small time to talk with him and the lifting of my heart that it did. Thank you Jesus and thank you Joel :)

I am also thankful for riding in the porsche! :)

~Shalom~

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