Friday, February 04, 2005

My life is really good, no really...

Good Morning everyone. This Friday finds me searching for something to hold onto. I was thinking yesterday about my life and all of the weird changes it has gone through. I can't believe the difference in where I was in 2000 as opposed to today in 2005. I can't even believe the difference from 2003 until now. I have grown and changed in such tremendous ways that I don't even recognize myself anymore. I also was trying to conjure up images of good things in my life. In 2005, I made a resolution to be grateful for one thing each day and to mark it down so I don't let God's goodness go unnoticed. I have done this every day and have learned a lot about blessings. I am truly blessed. I could go into all of the material things I possess which are all very good like my car, clothes to wear, etc...but moreso today I am thinking about how lucky I am to have really great people in my life.

My friends from Indiana are phenomenal although they are few. There are only really 2 people that I stay in close contact with from Indiana. That is Jarrid and Carrie. These are both two of my favorite people in the world. They are both so amazing and such gifts to me that I push to keep the relationship moving and growing. I am thankful for both of these amazing people. In California, I consider myself to have 2 really great guy friends (working on some new ones now) and 3 really great girl friends (also working here) My guy friends are basically Joel and Josh and they are both precious. My girls are Heather and Hannah and another Heather. I love these girls so much and they are a challenge to me because girls and I normally don't have deep meaningful relationships. These girls are a gift to me and I am allowing God to show me new women who are strong and can bring something good and get something good out of a relationship with me.

I also have really great mentors in my life that I take things to and listen very intently to. I have Pam, Claudia, and Shirley who are strong women who I listen to and totally trust with my heart. These are women who are not of my generation but are intense friends of mine and I have connected with them in a way that I have not with any other women. I also have some male mentor type relationships and I appreciate them very much. Mostly it is with Richard. Richard is my boss but we have become really great friends. We talk through our problems together and I like listening to things that happen that are good in his life as well. He is an ultimate blessing.

I should also note that I have a very mixed up family but have realized as of late, that I love them more than anything. We are a very close family although there are many issues. I love my momma so much and my dad and I are building a very good relationship now. I love my 3 sisters and find that they have much to offer in the realm of friendship to me. Britt is my best friend in the world and for good reason. I can almost feel her pain when she is hurting. There is such a connection there that I never thought I would have with her.

Overall, as you can read, I am very blessed in the area of having really great people in my life. I am going to stop thinking about what I don't have ( a 2nd job, money, boyfriend etc...) and start focusing on what I DO have. (amazing friends, great family, a great job, a place to live, food in my stomach, clothes, car, etc...) I am a very blessed woman and I need to start seeking God's face on how to be thankful and grateful and not lose my footing. Today is an eye opener and I thank God for his gentle nudge this morning in this direction.

Ok, here are my learning and thankfulness for yesterday:

Learning February 3, 2005:

1. Feeling like you are a last option in someone's life brings you to a place where you question your own worth.

2. The man you really love is always there for you and happy to be!

3. A good friend will read you his paper over the phone and listen to you critique it.

4. Kevin is a unorganized but driven man, visual learner, adventurous, and very interpersonal. I like learning about my new friends.

5. God is always searching me out, no matter how hard I run. I always have his voice in the form of good friends, telling me where to go and what to do!

Thankfulness February 3, 2005:

I am thankful for my dad. For many years of my life (21 to be exact), I did not have a relationship with my father. He was around in the sense that I got a birthday card from him and those kinds of things but to be a father, he just wasn't. When something horrible happened at the age of 21 for me, I confronted my dad about how I felt. We decided to have a relationship and start working on being father and daughter. It has been 3 years of good stuff and we are really trying. I keep in email contact with him and phone contact as well. When I go home, I spend a considerable amount of time with him and feel very blessed to do so. Today (Feb. 3) is his birthday and I just wanted to take this time and thank God for the relationship that I have with him! I am very happy about it!!! Thank you Dad and thank you God!


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