Males and what they teach you!

Good afternoon everyone. I have been back in California for a few days but have just been overwhelmed with sleepiness and getting back to normal. I am learning more and more everyday that the best friends you have will tell you the truth and just hit ya hard with it. Last night I was talking with a really great friend of mine for several hours and he just spoke truth to me all over the place.

Lately I have been searching for something...something outside of myself that will make me feel wanted. I have had that all along in my relationship with the Lord but I ignored it. I have been looking for it in a romantic relationship (which by the way, isn't present). I have been selling myself short and looking for someone to find me attractive instead of find me amazing! I have so much to offer in my opinion to the man who finally captures my heart but man is it hard getting to that.

I just met someone new recently and I am highly interested and intrigued at the very least. Sometimes the most unexpected things happen when you aren't looking. When I got back from California I spent the first hour or so back with Joel. He picked me up at the airport and something was just not right. Things are different here. I have changed over the holidays...actually over the last month or two.

I got back to the house and breathed deeply in relief to be here. Drama is plentiful in Indiana and stress even more so. Our cat ended up being in a cabinet so Mimi is safe and sound and well fed. Things here are ok except I do not have a job yet as I just got back. I would appreciate prayers for a new job. Here are my learning experiences for the last couple of days and the things I am thankful for!

January 4, 2005 Learning:

1. I love the smell of Rain and the way I feel when it rains. Rain is like a fresh start.

2. Leaving your home is not the same every time. Sometimes it is like coming home. California is officially my home.

3. I love spending time with Hailey and Riley. I would spend hours riding on fake horses and listening to the Playskool boom box. Kids are great...especially these two!

4. A plane ride is so much better with a great book. I read the whole book Carrie!

5. The guy next to me on the plane remixed techno music with Bennie and the Jets by Elton John and it made me think of Britt.

January 5, 2005 --Learning:

1. 3 hours time difference is substantial and my body sure feels it.

2. California can be just as cold as Indiana and I love it more still

3. The beach never looked so good.

4. Christopher was the best sight on earth in the morning when he came down for Breakfast and smiled when he saw me! I love that boy!

5. My best friends will stay on the phone for 5 hours and tear apart my mixed up logic on love and help me to see the people I should be attracted to!

Ok, here is what I am thankful for:

January 4, 2005:

I left Indiana on this day! I am thankful for Indiana. I am thankful for my friends and family who live there and make it somewhere to go. I am thankful for the endless John Cougar Mellancamp songs, the country roads, mullets as far as the eye can see, and home town hospitality! I am thankful for 24 hour grocery stores, paying after you pump the gas, and being able to go the cemetary and see where the man I admire the most rests (my grandpa) I am thankful for my mama and her cooking, my sisters and their griping, and my friends and their hugs. Thank you all for a wonderful stay!

January 5, 2005:

Last night I was able to chat with someone who I am very interested in. I was able to get to know them better and perhaps start something great up! I just want to let them know I am thankful for meeting them. Be careful as you must but know ...I am turning the pages because I can't stop reading! Thankful indeed

Well everyone, I will most likely write more tonight or tomorrow. Have a great night and ~Shalom~