Thursday, January 13, 2005

Princess Power

Wow, is it Thursday already? It's amazing how fast the week goes when you do nothing with your day! When you have the small privelage for a few days of being jobless and get to hang around and do fun things, it goes so fast! I hope you are all doing well today and that this blog is not getting to deep for ya. It is getting a little deep for me and I find that I literally throw my heart on the screen day after day trying to search for meaning and learn something about myself. Journaling is such a powerful tool. The title today is about my desire to be the princess of Ericaland. A new friend of mine calls me princess (and I think it's really sweet) and I started to think about how accurate it would be for me. I really do desire after that fairy tale situation where I am the princess and although my life will always have struggle, it doesn't matter as long as I have the love of a prince!

It seems that yesterday was a very interesting day. I have no idea what I would do not having a job all the time. I am pretty much busy from 3:30 on but I get up at like 7 am and just have the rest of the day after taking Christopher to school to do whatever. Lately it has been a little job hunting, meeting some new people, and getting to know people I am interested in. I have little to no money so the options are limited on what I can do. I can't even job hunt effectively because I must conserve gas for my current job. Isn't life grand?

I am not by any means complaining because my life is full of great people, the basic necessities, and possiblities as far as the eye can see. I was thinking today about marriage. Isn't it funny how half the world has been married and noone has really mastered it yet?! I am not about to act like I have some sort of super power that makes me think I will be able to master it either but isn't it crazy? I mean, you would think that in the world there would be someone that has it perfect. There are masters at everything; chess, surfing, mathematics, gymnastics, physics, etc...yet the world is without a master at love. I think that says a lot about love! I think if it can't be mastered...that's because it's the most amazing concept out there.

Maybe I am completely too philosophic because I am starved for love and affection right now but seriously, isn't it a great thing? If there were some perfect world where I could have exactly what I want right now, he would be standing next to me in all of his princely manner and have his hand on the small of my back guiding me throughout life and letting me know he is my strong protector while being vulnerable with me when it matters. I am getting way too sappy in my old age. I am getting to be very femine and interesting in the days that pass a breakthrough!

So anyway, I am always learning and always finding a way to be thankful so stay tuned for yesterdays learning and thankfulness:

Learning January 12, 2005:

1. Silver bars are worth a lot of money. I had to exchange silver bars for Richard and there was so much of it and I thought it would be a couple of hundred dollars at best and it ended up exchanging for a lot more than that. Isn't it a funny world?!

2. I want a Ford Mustang more than I ever have but have officially gained adulthood and realized that it is something I must earn and I am never going to have it unless I do!

3. Finding a job is hard stuff and is a lot like getting back into the dating field. I have no problem with the whole dating field having options but just like jobs, there are few I would actually take and feel worth doing!!

4. I love a late night phone call when I am laying in bed talking to someone who makes me laugh and makes me happy. It makes me sleep like a baby!

5. There is a stinky cold going around that is making everyone all groggy and sick. I hope I don't get it, I take care of myself so let's hope I don't. No medical insurance can be a hard hard thing to live with.

Thankful January 12, 2005:

I am thankful for heartfelt compliments. I am thankful when someone tells me I am intelligent or that I have a good heart. I like when someone who doesn't hand out compliments easily can say something that melts my heart. I like when someone notices something about me that isn't surface like that I am sensual or analytical in my mind. I love affirmation and I am thankful for those people in my life who deem it necessary to affirm me. I speak the love language of affirmation to anyone and everyone that I love and sometimes it is good to get it back. When I don't ...I feel starved. Thanks to those of you who you are good with compliments and thanks to those of you who find it difficult but walk out of your comfort zones to make me feel good! Love it!


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